Evil Dead Burn
– (2026) – A young widow visits the family of her deceased husband only to discover their dysfunction has ties to demonic possession. Mainly gets by on violence and some neat camerawork, since there isn’t a single character worth cheering for. This is by far the lesser entry in the series mainly because the participants are just as despicable as humans as they are as deadites. Every moment is so dour and humorless that the weight of the depression gets tiresome fast, which ultimately leads to empty mayhem.
Ice Cream Man (2026)
– (2026) – Kids who eat ice cream from the same vendor become possessed killers who slaughter every adult that nears them. A giddy show of violence that spills blood, intestines and puke all over the screen. It’s fun as such, and the teen/pre-teen actors aren’t bad, but the backstory, and only point of drama, is pretty lackluster. In all this is a goofy good time that’s short and moves fast.
The Last Amityville Movie
– (2023) – A man who receives a doorknob from a haunted house starts experiencing minor haunts. Acknowledges the vast amount of Amityville movies before becoming one, but the premise isn’t as clever as intended since it never provides finality as to why these movies exist nor why they absolutely should end. It’s just another cruddy Amityville movie with a misleading title.
Once Upon a Time in Amityville
– (2024) – Bounty hunters seek a refuge in a haunted town. It’s hard to fathom how a film that only runs 71-minutes can cause such monumental grief. The main reason this equates torture is largely due to languidness. The diminutive cast does little but meander from one scene to the next while occasionally coming across a cheap effect. There’s simply no life to the proceedings, as though the digital imprint itself is dead.
Funeral
– (2025) – A small group of people gather for a closed casket funeral during a snow storm, then find they can’t escape the parlor. While this does touch on themes of youth, old age, death and commitment to country, there’s never a sense of exactly what’s happening or why. When the end results are rendered? Good luck not groaning with disapproval. Probes the meaning of life, but does so through a haphazard screenplay.
Amityverse: Infinity
– (2026) – Anthology of 10 stories that focus on a suicide, a radio, singing ghosts, a devious shrink, shark-crabs, a shitting spirit, a cult leader, a dentist, a killer director, and hand puppets. While each story is so short we’re quickly put out of our misery, they’re still a trial to sit through. Every segment is cheaper than dirt, and range from mostly bad to impossibly irritating. Might have been fun for those who created this hell, but the rest of us are made to suffer.
– (1980) – A couple takes in the daughter of an absent mother only to find death in her wake. There is some creepiness dealing with so many dead kids, but there’s not much to classify as entertainment. A rather shameless rip-off of The Omen that moves too slow and covers too little ground.
– (1996) – A man having a relationship issue befriends a psycho who tries too hard to fit into his life. The protagonist’s dilemmas are too typical, while the antagonist adds nothing but corny excuses as to why TV might make someone nuts. Forces a social point in the end, but like all else before it, nothing is ever funny or convincing.
– (1995) – An Amish kid moves from cornfields to a city where he spreads Biblical evil. The plot appears brilliant compared to the dialog, and only some shoddy FX can generate interest. Promotes violence against bad child actors.
Halloween Night (2009)
– (2009) – A scarecrow that’s brought to life kills a few people ensuing a Halloween party. Some of the character bantering is amusing in a low-level way, which is the only saving grace since the horror is terrible. Has the good sense to not run long, and manages some pleasant stupidity.
Crocodile (1979)
– (1979) – Ensuing a massive hurricane, a giant crocodile attacks a small river community. The moments of ridiculousness and bloody mayhem are okay, but the bulk is insatiably dull. Borrows heavily from Jaws, but can’t mimic an ounce of suspense.
Lisa Frankenstein
– (2024) – A quirky high school outcast inadvertently lures a dead man from his grave, which leads to matters of quirky deaths. This is a tale of two halves. Half the plot is intriguing, while the other half is full of cliches. Half the jokes are truly funny, while the other half are pretty lame. All told, though, this is a fun, fast moving, and easy watch.
The Four Skulls of Jonathan Drake
– (1959) – A voodoo doctor collects the heads of the Drake clan on each of their sixtieth birthdays. An involving and almost creepy premise that falls victim to too much drama and a pace that refuses to move.
Camp Blood 5
– (2016) – The survivor of the previous entry watches a movie with her mother and recounts past footage to a shrink. One of the laziest, ugliest, and least resourceful heaps of dung to ever disgrace an internet stream. Built on scenes from other lousy movies, while anything new is preposterously inept.
Bloodsucking Freaks
– (1976) – The director of a snuff play kidnaps a renown director to star in his latest attraction. Too campy to take seriously, but does predate the torture era by decades and, as such, offers plenty of bloody mayhem. Sadistic, barbaric and satisfyingly gruesome.