Evil Dead Burn
– (2026) – A young widow visits the family of her deceased husband only to discover their dysfunction has ties to demonic possession. Mainly gets by on violence and some neat camerawork, since there isn’t a single character worth cheering for. This is by far the lesser entry in the series mainly because the participants are just as despicable as humans as they are as deadites. Every moment is so dour and humorless that the weight of the depression gets tiresome fast, which ultimately leads to empty mayhem.
Ice Cream Man (2026)
– (2026) – Kids who eat ice cream from the same vendor become possessed killers who slaughter every adult that nears them. A giddy show of violence that spills blood, intestines and puke all over the screen. It’s fun as such, and the teen/pre-teen actors aren’t bad, but the backstory, and only point of drama, is pretty lackluster. In all this is a goofy good time that’s short and moves fast.
The Last Amityville Movie
– (2023) – A man who receives a doorknob from a haunted house starts experiencing minor haunts. Acknowledges the vast amount of Amityville movies before becoming one, but the premise isn’t as clever as intended since it never provides finality as to why these movies exist nor why they absolutely should end. It’s just another cruddy Amityville movie with a misleading title.
Once Upon a Time in Amityville
– (2024) – Bounty hunters seek a refuge in a haunted town. It’s hard to fathom how a film that only runs 71-minutes can cause such monumental grief. The main reason this equates torture is largely due to languidness. The diminutive cast does little but meander from one scene to the next while occasionally coming across a cheap effect. There’s simply no life to the proceedings, as though the digital imprint itself is dead.
Funeral
– (2025) – A small group of people gather for a closed casket funeral during a snow storm, then find they can’t escape the parlor. While this does touch on themes of youth, old age, death and commitment to country, there’s never a sense of exactly what’s happening or why. When the end results are rendered? Good luck not groaning with disapproval. Probes the meaning of life, but does so through a haphazard screenplay.
Amityverse: Infinity
– (2026) – Anthology of 10 stories that focus on a suicide, a radio, singing ghosts, a devious shrink, shark-crabs, a shitting spirit, a cult leader, a dentist, a killer director, and hand puppets. While each story is so short we’re quickly put out of our misery, they’re still a trial to sit through. Every segment is cheaper than dirt, and range from mostly bad to impossibly irritating. Might have been fun for those who created this hell, but the rest of us are made to suffer.
– (2010) – Documentary that explores the behind-the-scenes myths and facets of the entire Freddy Krueger saga. A gift to fans of the series, as scores of participants from each entry tell tales that have never been heard before. Over four hours long, but is too insightful to ever near tedium. A wondrous trip down memory lane.
– (2015) – A masseuse kills her patrons in the name of voodoo and resurrection. A 61-minute mess that barely has a story and is highlighted by some of the worst gore (spaghetti sauce) ever filmed. There are some amusements throughout, and every actor seems in on the joke, but it’s hard to consider this an actual movie.
– (2008) – The virus from a depleted Racoon City crash lands in a new location with familiar results. A CG action movie with more humor than its human counterparts, but the video game dialog wears thin and it’s hard to relate to software characters. Still, there’s plenty of inventive action and the story never bores.
Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III
– (1990) – A couple on a road trip to Florida encounter a cannibalistic clan in Texas. Doesn’t feature the heaviest of plots, but has plenty of tense and grotesque moments to outweigh the dramatic faults. Despite having gone through post-production hell, the end result still packs some heavy punches.
White Dog
– (1982) – A dog trained to kill African Americans is put through trials of rehabilitation. Makes a strong case for social injustice through animals, but some actions are more improbable than innovative. Mostly enjoyable, and ultimately upsetting.
Night of the Living Dead (1968)
– (1968) – The rising dead trap a group of strangers in a seemingly abandoned house. Earns every ounce of respect for turning the horror genre around, but has some faults that are often overlooked. The characters — and their overdramatic bantering — become more obnoxious than intense. Has as many dull spots as creepy ones, too, but is ultimately saved by a profound finale.
Massage Parlor of Death
Camp Blood 4
– (2016) – A group of friends visit the site of past murders and are stalked by a killer in a clown mask. How bad is this? Let’s count the ways. 1. There are too many stagnant shots of random things. 2. The acting stinks. 3. The story and its flashbacks make no sense. 4. Has an open ending as though anyone would want this garbage to continue.
Psycho Sleepover
– (2008) – Escaped lunatics crash a slumber party of girls who aren’t ready to become victims. Takes place in the ’80s for some reason, but doesn’t serve as a throwback or homage to slashers of that era. Instead, this is a lame joke among those involved, although a few bits are kind of funny.