Midget Zombie Takeover
– (2013) – A small group of friends attending a hot tub party encounter zombies, one of whom is short. This feels like nothing more than a weekend shoot among non-actors and non-filmmakers flaunting how characters with zero personalities can resist a handful of meandering zombies. Nice try, title, but the only midget involved sits within the brain of this dud’s creator.
Last Shift
– (2014) – A rookie police officer on her first night in a closing precinct experiences a wide variety of haunts. This is a constant battle between two elements: bad drama and bad horror. Each area lacks fleshing out, leaving us with a dull lead battling trivial ghostly shenanigans. There’s simply not enough known about anyone or anything involved, which cripples any chance this had at becoming suspenseful. You can’t fear what you don’t care about.
Don’t Move (2026)
– (2026) – Something is picking off patrons of a wooded religious retreat, prompting strangers to band together in the name of survival. A mostly lame experience that begins with perhaps the cheesiest family ever committed to film, yet the characterizations only worsen thereafter. There isn’t a single person who’s realistically relatable, so when the horror finally kicks in we accept reprieve in their deaths. Far more irritating that intimidating.
Hallowarrior
– (2026) – The supposed last girl on Earth spends Halloween alone (naturally) until she’s visited upon by three other survivors and multiple human monsters. A post-apocalyptic dud that only identifies a few characters, yet can’t do anything significant with any of them. The entirety takes place in one location, so there’s no chance new sets will distract anyone from the monotony. Worse still, the lead is referred to as “Pumpkin” so many times that one might actually want to smash her against pavement.
Buddy
– (2026) – When the mascot of a children’s show starts killing its co-stars, the survivors flee to a protected realm. Meanwhile, in the real world, a woman who believes she forgot about having one of her children is sucked into the show. In other words: huh? The first act is by far the highlight as the morbidity is both disturbing and humorous, but this runs out of gas shortly thereafter. Though some sadism remains, repetition creeps in and drags down the initial enjoyment.
V/H/S/Mixtape
– (2026) – Anthology of four stories that focus on singing puppets, a couple trapped in a cube, a mysterious musician, and a killer recording her murders. If the sole intention of each story was to create a massive headache, then congrats filmmakers, you succeeded admirably since each segment is magnanimously earsplitting. Some of the practical F/X are fine, but they don’t come close to saving the weak stories, the irritating acting, and the utterly meaningless interludes.
– (2013) – A man stranded on a planet inhabited by violent creatures summons help from his enemies. Begins with too much emphasis on a one-note character, shifts focus to a group of cliched grunts, and ends with scenes of empty action. The script is a mess and the lead is simply not worth following.
– (2025) – Teens who blow into an Aztec device are thereby hunted by the dead versions of their future selves. Has a great concept that can’t help but gravitate toward “borrowing” from other films, as the premise ultimately morphs into an It Follows and/or Final Destination clone. The plot isn’t airtight either, and cliches are abundant, but this is still fun when delivering the gory (CGI) goods.
– (2025) – A group of friends vacate to Hawaii in an estate where they’re stalked and slaughtered by a rabid chimp. A throwback to simple slasher times when types gather to get mauled by a killer, only now the psycho is short and hairy. Doesn’t win points for plot progression or character growth, and too much time is spent in a pool, but the violence is satisfyingly grim.
Halloween Night (2009)
– (2009) – A scarecrow that’s brought to life kills a few people ensuing a Halloween party. Some of the character bantering is amusing in a low-level way, which is the only saving grace since the horror is terrible. Has the good sense to not run long, and manages some pleasant stupidity.
Jaws 2
– (1978) – A killer shark invades an ocean, but only Chief Brody learned anything from the previous encounter. It’s clear from the start that this has nothing new to offer, as the plot is already redundant. Sprinkles in some suspense, but too many inactive water scenes only advance the flatness.
Lurking Fear
– (1994) – People seeking money from a dead man’s grave, and some who aren’t, hole up in a church while the living dead lurk beneath them. The production, atmosphere and makeup FX are top notch, but the story suffers from typical villains and an overall lack of focus.
Curse III: Blood Sacrifice
– (1991) – A pregnant woman becomes the target of a voodoo curse. Has an amazingly boring first 80-minutes before ending with an out-of-the-blue creature that offers too little too late. Too talky and hard to decipher.
13 Slays Till X-Mas
– (2020) – Anthology of 13 stories that focus on a damaging wreath, a dead wife, serial killers, a suicidal father, a mutant tree, a murderous clown, a summoned butcher, a bug-eyed assassin, a cop pursuing a suspect, an angry radio DJ, demons, woodland creatures and yuletide vengeance. A perfectly atrocious concoction of tales that never last long enough to matter in the most rudimentary sense. It’s too brightly lit, too badly acted, and too badly written to do anything but irritate. Nothing new.
The Nightmare Never Ends
– (1980) – An author who claims God no longer exists is taunted by a demonic Nazi who doesn’t age. Has a lot going on, from religion to disco, but doesn’t stand on solid enough ground to take seriously. A bit too muddled at times, but gets credit for attempting a plot as outlandish.