Leviticus
– (2026) – Two young men are terrorized by an apparition that appears as each other. Begins by offering insights into homosexuality and religion, but not long after becomes just another tale of who’s who among drab characters in any form. It’s well made and has spouts of violence, but the whole time I kept wishing I watched It Follows instead.
Amityvillenado
– (2026) – A few who visit the site of a murder house that was wiped out by a tornado become possessed by evil forces. Has points of progression and moves relatively fast while doing as much as it can with a meager budget. Still, there’s nothing here one hasn’t seen before, aside from a guy who’s possessed with dire Hershey squirts. Mostly easy to withstand, despite an overlength of 111-minues.
Wizard of Death: Tinman’s Rise
– (2026) – A small family is hunted by a killer who’s donned in tin and sporting an ax. An experience not unlike banging your face against concrete, since there’s virtually nothing to observe that’s meaningful or memorable. Characters often scream, a stiff villain kills them in unimaginative ways, and the credits finally roll. There’s virtually nothing of substance here.
Pinocchio Unstrung
– (2026) – An orphaned kid is introduced to a boy made of wood who hopes to become human by ingesting human flesh. A remarkably dull jaunt that asks us to either care about children we barely know over a goddamn puppet. As horror this is okay since there is a lot of bloody violence, but as a narrative drama this lacks everything that could possibly create a single emotional experience. Kudos to the practical FX, but the script is garbage.
Dream Scenario
– (2023) – Many people in a small community are dreaming about the same mild-mannered professor, which is a quirk for all until their dreams become violent. Begins as a curious comedy that darkens as it goes while consistently building sympathy for the hapless protagonist. Has some issues with pacing and tone, and the conclusion isn’t fully embraceable, but this is often humorous, sad, and surprising in all the right ways.
Popeye IV: Resurrection
– (2026) – The survivor of a mutant killer becomes entangled with a cult that revives said killer. Most of this is a contrived drama about helping others as a means of persevering, but try not to lose track of how many times you yawn through the dull progressions. Gets slightly better when violence finally arrives, but only because there are less derivative characters to put up with. The worst entry in a series of absolute wretch.
– (1968) – The rising dead trap a group of strangers in a seemingly abandoned house. Earns every ounce of respect for turning the horror genre around, but has some faults that are often overlooked. The characters — and their overdramatic bantering — become more obnoxious than intense. Has as many dull spots as creepy ones, too, but is ultimately saved by a profound finale.
– (2025) – A couple that adopts a mute girl with a troubled past experience the dark chaos she brings with her. Takes a while to figure out what’s going on, but patience is ultimately rewarded while the story takes us through some truly bonkers phases. The characters aren’t the most well-drawn, but they’re realistic enough to keep the horror aspects somewhat believable. Few will find this suspenseful, but it sure is intriguing.
– (2025) – A young woman who’s afraid of relationships is targeted by a killer who only murders couples. While this does get off to a rough start, as most every character is an insufferable windbag, this works well when eventually turning a silly, unrealistic rom-com into a silly, unrealistic bloodbath. Often funny and charming, but equally routine and lacking in any true surprises.
Violent Shit II
– (1992) – Son of the original maniac goes on a killing spree that makes the original look tame. Has more narrative than the previous entry, which is to say it actually has a narrative, and the violence includes more than one weapon. Still junk, but has some eye opening gore that’s sure to please the horror masses.
Killer Crocodile
– (1989) – A radioactive crocodile attacks an Amazon-ish area. Starts with a perfectly chintzy shot that raises hope for what follows, but doesn’t take long to drift down a river of nothingness. Enough occurs to keep this afloat, but too many stretches are far too dull.
Revenge of the Dead
– (1983) – An author who’s researching his third book discovers a place where the dead rise. Don’t let the exciting artwork fool you, this is a horror-free stinker that focuses on a languid man who bumbles about for eighty horrible minutes. Consider it NyQuil: The Movie.
The Tale of the Voodoo Prostitute
– (2012) – Hookers kill others and themselves in the name of a depraved pimp. Has something to do with voodoo, but is mostly a wannabe crime flick where the gangsters are impossible to take seriously. Mostly well made, but the inclusions of demonism don’t add up to anything.
Secrets of the Clown
– (2007) – A group of friends fall victim to unexplained powers ensuing someone’s death. Has something to do with a soul trapped in a clown doll, but there’s so much slop going on in between it’s hard to tell what the overall purpose is. A badly conceived and horribly acted mess.
Dance or Die
– (1987) – A recovering drug addict is pursued by criminals between scenes of awful dancing. Appears a mix of two separate films, as the dancing and crime plots have nothing in common. The best parts involve sex and gunshot wounds, but everything else is too muddy to make sense of.