Leviticus
– (2026) – Two young men are terrorized by an apparition that appears as each other. Begins by offering insights into homosexuality and religion, but not long after becomes just another tale of who’s who among drab characters in any form. It’s well made and has spouts of violence, but the whole time I kept wishing I watched It Follows instead.
Amityvillenado
– (2026) – A few who visit the site of a murder house that was wiped out by a tornado become possessed by evil forces. Has points of progression and moves relatively fast while doing as much as it can with a meager budget. Still, there’s nothing here one hasn’t seen before, aside from a guy who’s possessed with dire Hershey squirts. Mostly easy to withstand, despite an overlength of 111-minues.
Wizard of Death: Tinman’s Rise
– (2026) – A small family is hunted by a killer who’s donned in tin and sporting an ax. An experience not unlike banging your face against concrete, since there’s virtually nothing to observe that’s meaningful or memorable. Characters often scream, a stiff villain kills them in unimaginative ways, and the credits finally roll. There’s virtually nothing of substance here.
Pinocchio Unstrung
– (2026) – An orphaned kid is introduced to a boy made of wood who hopes to become human by ingesting human flesh. A remarkably dull jaunt that asks us to either care about children we barely know over a goddamn puppet. As horror this is okay since there is a lot of bloody violence, but as a narrative drama this lacks everything that could possibly create a single emotional experience. Kudos to the practical FX, but the script is garbage.
Dream Scenario
– (2023) – Many people in a small community are dreaming about the same mild-mannered professor, which is a quirk for all until their dreams become violent. Begins as a curious comedy that darkens as it goes while consistently building sympathy for the hapless protagonist. Has some issues with pacing and tone, and the conclusion isn’t fully embraceable, but this is often humorous, sad, and surprising in all the right ways.
Popeye IV: Resurrection
– (2026) – The survivor of a mutant killer becomes entangled with a cult that revives said killer. Most of this is a contrived drama about helping others as a means of persevering, but try not to lose track of how many times you yawn through the dull progressions. Gets slightly better when violence finally arrives, but only because there are less derivative characters to put up with. The worst entry in a series of absolute wretch.
– (1974) – A yeti abducts young women or saves them from thieves. Some sort of hippie concoction that was born of weed and acid. None of the sex, monster or hillbilly themes have anything to do with one another.
– (1968) – Monsters old and new, good or bad, aim to destroy Earth under the influence of aliens. Constantly progresses, but spends too much time on droll human business and only a few minutes on mayhem. A cold and convoluted entry that’s starting to feel awfully familiar.
– (1980) – A man rapes and murders women while police try to pick up his leads. Almost okay, but takes obvious events too seriously and makes a joke out of everything else. Lame and pointless overall, but raises some interest before finally ending.
Evil Dead Inbred Rednecks
– (2012) – A group of friends summon hillbilly forces that turn them into white trash. Not unlike any other Chris Seaver film in that it’s cheap and obnoxious, yet occasionally very funny. The resolution to the redneck dilemma is especially crafty, and there are worse ways to spend 45-minutes.
Primate
– (2025) – A group of friends vacate to Hawaii in an estate where they’re stalked and slaughtered by a rabid chimp. A throwback to simple slasher times when types gather to get mauled by a killer, only now the psycho is short and hairy. Doesn’t win points for plot progression or character growth, and too much time is spent in a pool, but the violence is satisfyingly grim.
Bigfoot vs. Zombies
– (2016) – When zombies start to rise thanks to a spilled toxin, a yeti arrives to save the day. Movies don’t get much cheaper, as the production values equate the cost of air, but there is something of a plot and attempts at character growth. The main problem is that there aren’t enough zombies, the yeti, nor their combination. A better title might have been Boredom vs. Sleep.
Witchcraft III: The Kiss of Death
– (1991) – A lawyer gets mixed up in dark magic and darker lust. There aren’t many scenes of sex and violence, but the idiotic drama does move relatively fast. Goofily amusing.
Secrets of the Clown
– (2007) – A group of friends fall victim to unexplained powers ensuing someone’s death. Has something to do with a soul trapped in a clown doll, but there’s so much slop going on in between it’s hard to tell what the overall purpose is. A badly conceived and horribly acted mess.
Deadly Daphne’s Revenge
– (1987) – A raped woman presses then drops charges against her assailants. A drawn out and repetitive drama that only presents ties to its title in the final moments. Misleads more than it entertains.