Deathwoods
– (2026) – A group of friends vacate to the woods where they’re picked off by a killer when not hounded by local hillbillies. Yet another run-of-the-mill slasher that pits a so-called legendary killer against people with ordinary issues. There’s some blood n’ boobs here n’ there, but not enough to salvage a dull experience that isn’t as provoking as it wants to be.
Amityverse
– (2025) – Anthology of 10 stories that focus on Halloween night, a murderous clown, an evil spoon, a skeletal cop, a mime, a lawn ornament, a toilet, an invisible person, a killer dirtbag, and a hammer. While nothing presented can be considered prime entertainment, each segment moves too fast to leave behind the lingering stench of failure. Every tale breezes through shoddy action and dollar store F/X, and as such forms a harmless yet forgettable dungheap.
Spider Island
– (2026) – Influencers attending a new island resort encounter a murderous breed of arachnid, which the owner finds a minor inconvenience. Takes some digs at the annoyances of online attention whores, but there’s not much actual horror taking place. The spider activity is incredibly sparse, cheap, and ineffective, while the drama can’t handle the bulk of the remaining length.
Leviticus
– (2026) – Two young men are terrorized by an apparition that appears as each other. Begins by offering insights into homosexuality and religion, but not long after becomes just another tale of who’s who among drab characters in any form. It’s well made and has spouts of violence, but the whole time I kept longing to watch It Follows instead.
Amityvillenado
– (2026) – A few who visit the site of a murder house that was wiped out by a tornado become possessed by evil forces. Has points of progression and moves relatively fast while doing as much as it can with a meager budget. Still, there’s nothing here one hasn’t seen before, aside from a guy who’s possessed with sinister Hershey squirts. Mostly easy to withstand, despite an overlength of 111-minues.
Wizard of Death: Tinman’s Rise
– (2026) – A small family is hunted by a killer who’s donned in tin and sporting an ax. An experience not unlike banging your face against concrete, since there’s virtually nothing to observe that’s meaningful or memorable. Characters often scream, a stiff villain kills them in unimaginative ways, and the credits finally roll. There’s virtually nothing of substance here.
– (1988) – A doctor who’s working on resurrection is happened upon by three women who could potentially fulfill his experiment’s needs. Since the bulk of this relies on slow drama, the bulk of this sucks. Dumb, but certainly not fun.
– (1975) – The female ruler of a concentration camp experiments on women and sleeps with men to observe pain and pleasure. The plot is a bit thin, but the sex and violence is often hard to look away from. Exploitative and gut wrenching, but convincingly played straight.
– (2004) – Godzilla is freed from ice to take on a battalion of monsters that are ordered to destroy the world. A sloppily edited and noisy mishmash of ideas that somehow remains coherent through the frequent action spectacles. Illogical and silly, but diverting as a whole.
Close Encounters of the Inbred Redneck Kind
– (2012) – A mullet from a redneck planet turns regular people into white trash. There isn’t much horror involved, which isn’t as bad as the notion that there isn’t much comedy either. A dull and unintriguing low-low-low-budget venture.
Bats
– (1999) – Scientifically engineered bats tear apart a small town fang by bloody fang. Close to exciting during moments of mayhem, but subsequent scenes are crippled by lousy dialog and routine characters. Not exactly innovative, but often amusing.
Skeleton Key (2006)
– (2006) – While searching for a five legged goat with two heads, a reporter ends up in a town inhabited by vampires, zombies, and sluts. Somewhere within the juvenile jokes and self-aware atrocities is a story with significant ambitions. Strives too hard for laughs, which is an uphill battle since the humor is abominable.
Vault of Horror
– (1973) – Anthology of five stories that focus on vampires, a neat freak, a magical rope, a buried man and a voodoo artist. Each tale is pretty bland, but they often finish unpredictably. Moves fast, but never raises the creep factor above moderate.
Poltergeist (1982)
– (1982) – A suburban family loses their youngest daughter to the angry forces within their haunted house. Steadily introduces characters and ghostly happenings while never failing to pile on one nerve wracking moment after another. One of the most emotional and fascinating films in horror history.
Witchcraft VII: Judgement Hour
– (1995) – Cops track vampires and their undead victims. The acting ranges from bad to worse, while the breasts range from impressive to just plain weird. Nothing that occurs between the dull smut is worth a second glance.