The Houses October Built 2
– (2017) – To recover from their trauma of a violent haunted house experience, a group of friends embark on a tour of haunted house attractions. The whole film is basically an excuse to travelogue actual haunt attractions while ultimately adding one as “real” fictional danger to serve their selfish purposes. This isn’t a movie so much as a documentary meshed with an uninvolving narrative.
Midget Zombie Takeover
– (2013) – A small group of friends attending a hot tub party encounter zombies, one of whom is short. This feels like nothing more than a weekend shoot among non-actors and non-filmmakers flaunting how characters with zero personalities can resist a handful of meandering zombies. Nice try, title, but the only midget involved sits within the brain of this dud’s creator.
Last Shift
– (2014) – A rookie police officer on her first night in a closing precinct experiences a wide variety of haunts. This is a constant battle between two elements: bad drama and bad horror. Each area lacks fleshing out, leaving us with a dull lead battling trivial ghostly shenanigans. There’s simply not enough known about anyone or anything involved, which cripples any chance this had at becoming suspenseful. You can’t fear what you don’t care about.
Don’t Move (2026)
– (2026) – Something is picking off patrons of a wooded religious retreat, prompting strangers to band together in the name of survival. A mostly lame experience that begins with perhaps the cheesiest family ever committed to film, yet the characterizations only worsen thereafter. There isn’t a single person who’s realistically relatable, so when the horror finally kicks in we accept reprieve in their deaths. Far more irritating that intimidating.
Hallowarrior
– (2026) – The supposed last girl on Earth spends Halloween alone (naturally) until she’s visited upon by three other survivors and multiple human monsters. A post-apocalyptic dud that only identifies a few characters, yet can’t do anything significant with any of them. The entirety takes place in one location, so there’s no chance new sets will distract anyone from the monotony. Worse still, the lead is referred to as “Pumpkin” so many times that one might actually want to smash her against pavement.
Buddy
– (2026) – When the mascot of a children’s show starts killing its co-stars, the survivors flee to a protected realm. Meanwhile, in the real world, a woman who believes she forgot about having one of her children is sucked into the show. In other words: huh? The first act is by far the highlight as the morbidity is both disturbing and humorous, but this runs out of gas shortly thereafter. Though some sadism remains, repetition creeps in and drags down the initial enjoyment.
– (2021) – A dysfunctional family inherits a haunted farm where a killer scarecrow dwells. The only thing that keeps this afloat is how seriously the drama is taken when every component is taken straight out of soap operas of old. Offers more laughs than it probably should have, especially when one characters spends half the movie without cleaning blood off her face. A goofy masterwork in ineptitude.
– (2005) – A possessed midget, and the guy who possessed him, embark on a killing spree. A choppy outing that would have benefited from focusing on the vacationing girls rather than spending so much time with lesser necessities. Makes absolutely no sense, has terrible gore, and the acting is baneful.
– (2016) – While trying to determine the cause of death of an unknown woman, a pathologist and his son unleash evil forces. For every instance that makes you say, “Well, duh,” there’s another that makes you say, “Oh, s**t!” Has some truly unique and tense inclusions, but isn’t exactly flawless in its logic.
Body Melt
– (1993) – An experimental vitamin is causing people to fall apart in gooey manners. Has an abundance of slime and some moderately creative deaths, but an actual plot is absent and all the characters are corny. Short, but leaves no lasting impression.
Man’s Best Friend
– (1993) – A dog who’s mixed with the DNA of other animals is unleashed as his bad behavior worsens. The experiment angle has some engaging moments, but everything that takes place in suburbia gets tiring in a hurry. The characters (and dog) are too unlikable to root for or against.
Violent Shit III (aka Zombie Doom)
– (1999) – Karl the Butcher Jr. now resides on an island with an infantry that’s trained to annihilate. The first of the series to flow like an actual movie, but the dialog/dubbing is insanely pitiful and the acting leaves much to be desired. The main objective is violence, and there are plenty of disgusting atrocities to go around.
Shock ‘Em Dead
– (1991) – A waste of life sells his soul to become the world’s biggest rock star, but has to become a band member to get started? Doesn’t make sense, but moves at a steady pace, has Traci Lords, and offers some okay ideas. Equally bad and amusing.
Clowns of Halloween
– (2019) – Anthology of three stories that focus on a killer clown, a killer doll clown, and another killer clown. The first story shows some signs of life, but the second is a basic repeat only with a toy, while the third is a stagnant bore. Yet another backyard effort by those with no clue how to tell one tale, let alone three.
Stuff Stephanie in the Incinerator
– (1989) – A wealthy married couple takes role playing games to heights of murder. Has a ton of twists that are hard to see coming, but that’s as good as this gets. Too many scenes drag and characters are surprisingly hollow considering the great lengths they go to entertain themselves.