Deathbone, Third Blood Part VII: The Blood of Deathbone
– (2011) – An elf seeks a barbarian to assist her in bringing down a goblin. The production aspects won’t win over those who prefer their movies polished, and the plot is rather typical to the fantasy genre, but what makes this so much fun are the lines among the frenzied cast. The deliveries of Chris Seaver’s unique dialog are as humorous as the words themselves. Maybe not great “cinema,” but great entertainment.
91 total views, 32 views today
Extracurricular Activities
– (2019) – A high school student is picking off the parents of his classmates in unique ways. Has an absorbing premise that works well in the first two acts, but the creative set-up gives way to a conclusion that’s full of too many coincidences to completely satisfy. Certainly enjoyable, but ends on a note that’s more confusing than distressing.
420 total views, 29 views today
Camp Death III in 2-D!
– (2018) – Counselors at a summer camp are picked off by a masked killer. Sounds familiar, but what sets this apart from the others of its kind are the attempts at humor every .02 seconds. The problem? Very few moments are funny. Too many hammy actors make eye contact with the camera, move in double time, or insult the handicapped. This is an obnoxious outing that was probably fun for those who made it, but most everyone else will consider it torture.
522 total views, 29 views today
Weedjies: Halloweed Night
– (2019) – Creatures summoned from a Ouija board make trouble for a Halloween party. The plot is as basic as can be: monsters escape, monsters must be contained. What keeps this watchable is the vibrant scenery, the quick pace, and the fun cast. Though the music is rather putrid, some mild enjoyment can be found.
593 total views, 39 views today
Evil Bong 888: Infinity High
– (2022) – A bong oversees the kitchen of a new restaurant and provides an ingredient that makes guests horny. This is the kind of movie that’s stupid because it wants to be, and offers nothing more than cheap humor amid glorious nudity. Virtually plot free, as characters come and go without conflict or resolution, but overall it’s a silly way to spend an hour.
712 total views, 35 views today
your a-z guide to obscure & classic horror movies
– (2016) – A group of friends visit the site of past murders and are stalked by a killer in a clown mask. How bad is this? Let’s count the ways. 1. There are too many stagnant shots of random things. 2. The acting stinks. 3. The story and its flashbacks make no sense. 4. Has an open ending as though anyone would want this garbage to continue.
1,704 total views, 1 views today
– (1979) – A spaceship crew fights for their lives after picking up a hostile alien. A steadily paced outing with highly memorable moments of terror and suspense. Basically a slasher movie with a unique outer space design and distinguishable characters who bring realism to the unique landscape.
2,147 total views, 5 views today
– (1989) – Ghost hunters and police mingle at a mansion that’s haunted by a goofy villain. Features some of the worst dialog ever spoken, and the plot doesn’t fare much better. Worthless in every attempt to form a narrative or build suspense.
1,345 total views, 5 views today
Hunters
– (2016) – Several innocent people fall victim to killers who won’t shut up about their takes on life. A miserable experience that does nothing but showcase one scene of torture after another. Has no plot, but displays high levels of hatred toward humanity.
1,835 total views, 5 views today
Razorback
– (1984) – A man travels to Australia to look for his wife, who’s been eaten by a gigantic boar. Features a couple of okay monster moments, but too much time is spent with cardboard leads and villains. Loses its hold with choppy editing.
1,615 total views, 1 views today
Bog Creatures
– (2003) – Students researching bog people discover their subjects are actually Viking zombies. Slow going and unintentionally silly, but passes time without too much harm. Worth a peek during bouts of insomnia.
1,422 total views, 4 views today
Hoodoo for Voodoo
– (2006) – A group of friends travel to New Orleans where they fall victim to murderous possessions. Has a few inventive kills and moves relatively fast, but the humor is pitiful and the production too murky. Aims to please, but hits too many lame marks.
1,982 total views, 8 views today
S.I.C.K.
– (2003) – So-called friends and a hitchhiker vacate to a cabin where they’re tormented by a fat clown. Okay as an idea, but the horrid acting and repetitive banter wear thin fast. Terrible, but often amuses with its overbearing stench.
1,702 total views, 4 views today
Plutonium Baby
– (1987) – A child born of a radioactive mother can’t escape his ill-fated past. The first half is okay when dealing with bloodshed in the woods, but the second half (which takes place ten years later even though everything looks the same) is flat out dull. Initially fun, but ultimately torturous.
1,462 total views, 2 views today