The Houses October Built 2
– (2017) – To recover from their trauma of a violent haunted house experience, a group of friends embark on a tour of haunted house attractions. The whole film is basically an excuse to travelogue actual haunt attractions while ultimately adding one as “real” fictional danger to serve their selfish purposes. This isn’t a movie so much as a documentary meshed with an uninvolving narrative.
Midget Zombie Takeover
– (2013) – A small group of friends attending a hot tub party encounter zombies, one of whom is short. This feels like nothing more than a weekend shoot among non-actors and non-filmmakers flaunting how characters with zero personalities can resist a handful of meandering zombies. Nice try, title, but the only midget involved sits within the brain of this dud’s creator.
Last Shift
– (2014) – A rookie police officer on her first night in a closing precinct experiences a wide variety of haunts. This is a constant battle between two elements: bad drama and bad horror. Each area lacks fleshing out, leaving us with a dull lead battling trivial ghostly shenanigans. There’s simply not enough known about anyone or anything involved, which cripples any chance this had at becoming suspenseful. You can’t fear what you don’t care about.
Don’t Move (2026)
– (2026) – Something is picking off patrons of a wooded religious retreat, prompting strangers to band together in the name of survival. A mostly lame experience that begins with perhaps the cheesiest family ever committed to film, yet the characterizations only worsen thereafter. There isn’t a single person who’s realistically relatable, so when the horror finally kicks in we accept reprieve in their deaths. Far more irritating that intimidating.
Hallowarrior
– (2026) – The supposed last girl on Earth spends Halloween alone (naturally) until she’s visited upon by three other survivors and multiple human monsters. A post-apocalyptic dud that only identifies a few characters, yet can’t do anything significant with any of them. The entirety takes place in one location, so there’s no chance new sets will distract anyone from the monotony. Worse still, the lead is referred to as “Pumpkin” so many times that one might actually want to smash her against pavement.
Buddy
– (2026) – When the mascot of a children’s show starts killing its co-stars, the survivors flee to a protected realm. Meanwhile, in the real world, a woman who believes she forgot about having one of her children is sucked into the show. In other words: huh? The first act is by far the highlight as the morbidity is both disturbing and humorous, but this runs out of gas shortly thereafter. Though some sadism remains, repetition creeps in and drags down the initial enjoyment.
– (2022) – Anthology of five stories that focus on a vengeful scarecrow, noise insanity, a psychic doll, a baking witch, and a wraparound involving Krampus. There’s really no point or ironic lesson to any of these stories, as they simply present ideas that are easy to shoot with a small cast. Short, but somehow unbelievably long.
– (1993) – Intellectuals in the Bodega Bay hotel encounters Toulon’s creations and more diabolical creatures. Doesn’t duplicate the previous entries, which is a plus, but even at 78-minutes this doesn’t accomplish anything rapidly. A joyless trial of patience.
– (2010) – Hillbillies in a warehouse kill college kids who tread on their grounds. Despicable characters, on both sides of good and bad, sink this turd before the lame story gets a chance to. Overlong garbage that bores and annoys.
The Hills Have Eyes (1977)
– (1977) – A family on their way to California become stranded in a desert where the hills conceal a cannibalistic clan. Involving from the start, and doesn’t wait long before becoming relentlessly violent and suspenseful. Some events border on silly, but most are raw and unforgiving.
Primate
– (2025) – A group of friends vacate to Hawaii in an estate where they’re stalked and slaughtered by a rabid chimp. A throwback to simple slasher times when types gather to get mauled by a killer, only now the psycho is short and hairy. Doesn’t win points for plot progression or character growth, and too much time is spent in a pool, but the violence is satisfyingly grim.
Zombie Women of Satan
– (2009) – Circus performers fend off zombies that have nothing to do with Satan. The lone point of interest comes from cheap violence, but everything else is an embarrassment to filmmaking. Makes no sense and exhibits high levels of irritation.
Victor Crowley
– (2017) – The survivor of Hatchet III is trapped in a downed plane with those looking to bank on the legend of Victor Crowley. Despite a few lags, this has a ton of great jokes, awesome kills, and an overall sense of fun. Doesn’t reinvent the genre, but shows how to breathe new life into a fourth entry.
Amityverse
– (2025) – Anthology of 10 stories that focus on Halloween night, a murderous clown, an evil spoon, a skeletal cop, a mime, a lawn ornament, a toilet, an invisible person, a killer dirtbag, and a hammer. While nothing presented can be considered prime entertainment, each segment moves too fast to leave behind the lingering stench of failure. Every tale breezes through shoddy action and dollar store F/X, and as such forms a harmless yet forgettable dungheap.
Killer Yacht Party
– (2006) – A group of girls bribe their way onto a boat party where a killer lurks. No concern is raised for any character, who range from spoiled and despicable to innocent and weak. Rips off movies that aren’t great to begin with, and does nothing to elevate itself above useless (especially since every murder is so badly edited).