Popeye IV: Resurrection
– (2026) – The survivor of a mutant killer becomes entangled with a cult that revives said killer. Most of this is a contrived drama about helping others as a means of persevering, but try not to lose track of how many times you yawn through the dull progressions. Gets slightly better when violence finally arrives, but only because there are less derivative characters to put up with. The worst entry in a series of absolute wretch.
Popeye III: Requiem
– (2026) – A drug enhanced super sailor escapes from a science facility and lays waste to anyone in his way. Barely has a plot, as this only serves to exploit a well-known IP by attempting to add comical violence to what was once considered family friendly harm. Well, I’m not laughing. I’m not cringing, either, as all of the carnage is repetitive, poorly staged, and created with feeble FX. An unoriginal waste of time and resources.
Popeye Returns
– (2026) – A sailor with mutant strength takes out his militaristic problems on the small world around him. Looking for a plot? Grab a telescope and twist the lens for miles. You won’t find one. Luckily this is short, because the scarce violence and bland characters do nothing to hold concentration. A weary void that manages to end with one credible threat: “to be continued.”
Party Night
– (2017) – Three couples decide to party at an abandoned house after the prom, but find themselves stalked by a killer. While there’s absolutely nothing new to this, the female acting isn’t bad and the script delivers some realistic lines. Sadly, the gore scenes are all but ruined by blood that has too much of an orange tint, as though vodka sauce runs through everyone’s veins. Generic, but more enjoyable than many other no-budget slashers.
Big Baby
– (2025) – A struggling writer attempts to bring life to a murderer he’s dreaming about, but said killer might already exist in reality. Aims for something unique with the narrative, but gets bogged down by moments taken so seriously they come across as camp. The lead actor’s disjointed performance doesn’t help either, since his slip into madness comes dangerously close to comical. Starts okay, but worsens as it unfolds.
Abomination: The Evilmaker II
– (2003) – A spirit makes trouble for those who return to the house in which she died. Despite a lot of ghoulish happenings, they’re mostly bogged down by a dragging pace. Far from expertly made, but ties well with the first film and is competent enough to make for a relatively easy watch, especially since it’s only 79-minutes long.
– (2022) – A marriage counselor attempts to mend a bickering couple, but evil forces complicate matters. A staggeringly inept burden that showcases hideous actors spewing banal dialog, and only presents horror through speech and not action. After a while, this barely registers as an actual movie as random shots of nobodies badmouthing a therapist intercept the main plot. All around drivel.
– (1963) – Anthology of three stories that focus on a devious crank caller, relative blood suckers, and a woman who died in a trance. The first tale is dull and meaningless, the second dull yet creepy, while the third is just plain dull. There’s not much here outside of atmosphere.
– (2010) – Vampires are turning ravers into their own, but Edgar Frog is out to stop them… again. Standard vampire mumbo-jumbo with a quick pace and plenty of carnage. A Blade clone with okay horror highlights, but the lame central villain and lack of originality hurt in the end.
Junior (1985)
– (1985) – Hookers released from prison relocate to a marina where locals make trouble for them. A time waster with entertainment values that range from bad to worse. Somewhat fun as pure garbage, but too easy to forget.
Sharkado 2: The Second One
– (2014) – Twisters bring sharks to NYC, where the original film’s survivor happens to arrive. A badly edited and horribly choreographed joke that takes too much pride in winking at itself. Kisses New York’s ass as often as possible, while cramming in one too many purposefully awful moments.
Dead Country
– (2008) – An alien contagion turns the folks of Australia into zombies. A complete mess that’s too random in plot and characters to remotely make sense. There’s low budget art and there’s low budget fodder. This is the latter.
From Beyond the Grave
– (1973) – Anthology of four stories that focus on a haunted mirror, a voodoo woman, a shoulder phantom and a mysterious door. Provides some amusement and creepy atmosphere, but loses too many bouts with sluggishness and silliness.
It: Chapter Two
– (2019) – A group of friends reunite 27 years after battling an evil force that feeds on fears. Does a good job showcasing an assortment of unique F/X sequences, but the human element is too shallow. The kids have become types, and by focusing too much on their past the reasons to save their hometown in the present is lost. Entirely too long, and could have used less false scares against characters we already know survive their childhoods.
A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell
– (1991) – Male and female barbarians search for one another when separated by a savage. Has hardly any dialog, and no trace of meaning, but moves fast and packs in a variety of cheap ideas and cheaper monsters.