The Houses October Built 2
– (2017) – To recover from their trauma of a violent haunted house experience, a group of friends embark on a tour of haunted house attractions. The whole film is basically an excuse to travelogue actual haunt attractions while ultimately adding one as “real” fictional danger to serve their selfish purposes. This isn’t a movie so much as a documentary meshed with an uninvolving narrative.
Midget Zombie Takeover
– (2013) – A small group of friends attending a hot tub party encounter zombies, one of whom is short. This feels like nothing more than a weekend shoot among non-actors and non-filmmakers flaunting how characters with zero personalities can resist a handful of meandering zombies. Nice try, title, but the only midget involved sits within the brain of this dud’s creator.
Last Shift
– (2014) – A rookie police officer on her first night in a closing precinct experiences a wide variety of haunts. This is a constant battle between two elements: bad drama and bad horror. Each area lacks fleshing out, leaving us with a dull lead battling trivial ghostly shenanigans. There’s simply not enough known about anyone or anything involved, which cripples any chance this had at becoming suspenseful. You can’t fear what you don’t care about.
Don’t Move (2026)
– (2026) – Something is picking off patrons of a wooded religious retreat, prompting strangers to band together in the name of survival. A mostly lame experience that begins with perhaps the cheesiest family ever committed to film, yet the characterizations only worsen thereafter. There isn’t a single person who’s realistically relatable, so when the horror finally kicks in we accept reprieve in their deaths. Far more irritating that intimidating.
Hallowarrior
– (2026) – The supposed last girl on Earth spends Halloween alone (naturally) until she’s visited upon by three other survivors and multiple human monsters. A post-apocalyptic dud that only identifies a few characters, yet can’t do anything significant with any of them. The entirety takes place in one location, so there’s no chance new sets will distract anyone from the monotony. Worse still, the lead is referred to as “Pumpkin” so many times that one might actually want to smash her against pavement.
Buddy
– (2026) – When the mascot of a children’s show starts killing its co-stars, the survivors flee to a protected realm. Meanwhile, in the real world, a woman who believes she forgot about having one of her children is sucked into the show. In other words: huh? The first act is by far the highlight as the morbidity is both disturbing and humorous, but this runs out of gas shortly thereafter. Though some sadism remains, repetition creeps in and drags down the initial enjoyment.
– (1983) – An alien arrives on Earth and eats anyone in its path. Low budget cheese with great gore, a disgustingly effective monster, and strong rain atmosphere. Easy to forgive for lacking in plot and characters.
– (2021) – A tale of two young women who succumb to diabolical forces in their social landscapes. Well made from a visual standpoint, but the script needed work where characters and sensical plot points are concerned. Borders on hard to follow, and has a few horror moments that are hard not to laugh at. By no means bad, but there’s no reason to warrant a sequel setup.
– (2015) – A young woman and her father move into a house that harbors a few dark secrets. Some of the advancements hold attention, mainly the questions of sanity and kidnapping, but too much is conveniently plotted and the acting feels like rehearsal footage. A decent-enough time that’s more drab than irritating.
Backwoods
– (1987) – A camping couple befriend a hillbilly who has a vicious son. Gets off to a decent start, but before long common sense takes a back seat to an overlong cat and mouse chase. Almost okay, but lacks excitement.
Mighty Joe Young (1998)
– (1998) – A gigantic gorilla is removed from his natural habitat to the joy of poachers who’ve been holding a grudge against him. Too simplistic for anyone over the age of five, yet no other age group could possibly be impressed by the dim plot. A wholesome exercise in unrealistic drama and non-threatening action.
Pet Sematary (2019)
– (2019) – A family relocates to a town near ancient grounds that can return life to the deceased. Seems to have been created for the sole purpose of playing against the original film, but in doing so creates unpredictability in characters and their grim plights. Sometimes uneven, but more often that not will shred nerves and provoke emotions.
Witchcraft III: The Kiss of Death
– (1991) – A lawyer gets mixed up in dark magic and darker lust. There aren’t many scenes of sex and violence, but the idiotic drama does move relatively fast. Goofily amusing.
Camp Blood: Clown Shark
– (2024) – The severed head of a killer clown conjoins with a fish in a lake and becomes a murderous shark. There’s sort of a story involving the girl who killed that clown and the town that’s grateful for his demise, but that’s the only progression provided. Almost has a great homage to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre III trailer, but the overall cheapness sours that aspect as well.
The Toxic Avenger (1984)
– (1984) – A nerd is tricked into a vat of toxic waste and mutates into a monster superhero. Will never win awards for production or acting, but has more shock value than movies that run twice its length. A utopia of violent, low budget cheese.