Evil Dead Burn
– (2026) – A young widow visits the family of her deceased husband only to discover their dysfunction has ties to demonic possession. Mainly gets by on violence and some neat camerawork, since there isn’t a single character worth cheering for. This is by far the lesser entry in the series mainly because the participants are just as despicable as humans as they are as deadites. Every moment is so dour and humorless that the weight of the depression gets tiresome fast, which ultimately leads to empty mayhem.
Ice Cream Man (2026)
– (2026) – Kids who eat ice cream from the same vendor become possessed killers who slaughter every adult that nears them. A giddy show of violence that spills blood, intestines and puke all over the screen. It’s fun as such, and the teen/pre-teen actors aren’t bad, but the backstory, and only point of drama, is pretty lackluster. In all this is a goofy good time that’s short and moves fast.
The Last Amityville Movie
– (2023) – A man who receives a doorknob from a haunted house starts experiencing minor haunts. Acknowledges the vast amount of Amityville movies before becoming one, but the premise isn’t as clever as intended since it never provides finality as to why these movies exist nor why they absolutely should end. It’s just another cruddy Amityville movie with a misleading title.
Once Upon a Time in Amityville
– (2024) – Bounty hunters seek a refuge in a haunted town. It’s hard to fathom how a film that only runs 71-minutes can cause such monumental grief. The main reason this equates torture is largely due to languidness. The diminutive cast does little but meander from one scene to the next while occasionally coming across a cheap effect. There’s simply no life to the proceedings, as though the digital imprint itself is dead.
Funeral
– (2025) – A small group of people gather for a closed casket funeral during a snow storm, then find they can’t escape the parlor. While this does touch on themes of youth, old age, death and commitment to country, there’s never a sense of exactly what’s happening or why. When the end results are rendered? Good luck not groaning with disapproval. Probes the meaning of life, but does so through a haphazard screenplay.
Amityverse: Infinity
– (2026) – Anthology of 10 stories that focus on a suicide, a radio, singing ghosts, a devious shrink, shark-crabs, a shitting spirit, a cult leader, a dentist, a killer director, and hand puppets. While each story is so short we’re quickly put out of our misery, they’re still a trial to sit through. Every segment is cheaper than dirt, and range from mostly bad to impossibly irritating. Might have been fun for those who created this hell, but the rest of us are made to suffer.
– (2001) – An evil fraternity recruits a new member against his will. Some of the developments pass without causing too much grief, but the overwrought dialog causes a slew of groans. A goofy college drama with too little horror.
– (1973) – A young couple stays at a farmhouse where three murderers from the past still dwell. Begins as a horror movie, and has some horrific moments here and there, but most of this focuses on aimless characters performing random tasks. While far from exciting, this doesn’t last long and provides some amusing moments.
– (1986) – Events in a televised horror movie become real occurrences for apartment tenants. Does little more than duplicate the original, but is more consistent and has a stronger structure. ’80s cheese abounds, as does the gory fun.
The Hills Have Eyes (2006)
– (2006) – A vacationing family becomes stranded in a former nuclear test site where the hills conceal a cannibalistic clan of mutants. Best when faithful to the original, but lags when venturing off on its own. A violent bloodbath with great F/X and plenty of tension.
Dogs of Hell
– (1982) – Trained Rottweilers are accidentally unleashed upon a small town. Nothing between the characters raises interest, and the few dog shots are wasted opportunities to breathe life into the doldrums. Filmed as though it had a serious purpose, but ends up a gigantic bore.
Shock Waves
– (1972) – Travelers stranded on an island encounter Nazi zombies who kill with their bare hands. From beginning to end this crawls without ever coming up with a plot point, character, or scene worth caring about. The horrendous idea is the only trace of amusement.
The Plague of the Zombies
– (1966) – A doctor investigates voodoo related incidents that cause the dead to rise. Steadily builds an involving mystery through minimal horror and witty dialog. Hard to judge since the genre took the zombie notion to more exciting heights, but even for the atmosphere alone this is commendable.
Satan’s Storybook
– (1989) – Anthology of two stories that focus on a serial killer and a suicidal clown. The stories themselves are okay in that they strive for horror, but the overlong wraparounds spend too much time with a cheap production and pretentious demonic warbling. Has enough creepy merit to ensure one easy viewing.
Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead
– (2006) – A fast food chicken restaurant that’s built over an ancient Indian burial ground serves meals that turn patrons into chicken zombies. A horror/musical with some truly funny moments, a boat load of gore, and tons of social commentary. The musical aspect all but disappears toward the third act, but this is still sick fun overall.