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Amityville Vibrator

★½☆☆ – (2020) – A sex toy that’s picked up at a garage sale turns normal pleasure into the murderous kind. While attempting to fuse a plot, we’re treated to a skanky nun, a perverted puppet, and scenes of tattooed lesbian prowess. A repugnant sight to behold, but never pretends it’s more than what it is: a shoot among drugged up friends.

 97 total views,  97 views today

Amityville Thanksgiving

★☆☆☆ – (2022) – A marriage counselor attempts to mend a bickering couple, but evil forces complicate matters. A staggeringly inept burden that showcases hideous actors spewing banal dialog, and only presents horror through speech and not action. After a while, this barely registers as an actual movie as random shots of nobodies badmouthing a therapist intercept the main plot. All around drivel.

 211 total views,  71 views today

Amityville Scarecrow II

★☆☆☆ – (2022) – A scarecrow is terrorizing characters it didn’t kill the first time around. A slow, talky masterwork of boredom that does nothing right, from dialog to acting to horror to the lousy killer reveal. Only runs 79-minutes, but it feels as though 79-days pass by the time the lamebrain finale arrives. (This is a British production that has nothing to do with Amityville.)

 316 total views,  67 views today

Amityville Gas Chamber

★★☆☆ – (2022) – A quiet fellow reads The Amityville Horror novel to himself while occasionally farting. That’s it. That’s the movie. Strives to make a point that most Amityville movies are toilet waste, and you know something? He proves that point. If you get the joke this is pretty funny, but for those who haven’t suffered through one Amityville movie after the next this will probably come across as torture.

 416 total views,  65 views today

Skinamarink

★★☆☆ – (2022) – Two young kids explore their house on a night when a ghost appears. That’s pretty much it. The film isn’t interested in plot, but rather aims for mood with blurry darkness and off-centered shots. Does have uncomfortable moments, but getting to them is wrought with eye watering boredom. Unique from an artistic standpoint, but void of momentum and meaning.

 517 total views,  69 views today

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