Amityverse
– (2025) – Anthology of 10 stories that focus on Halloween night, a murderous clown, an evil spoon, a skeletal cop, a mime, a lawn ornament, a toilet, an invisible person, a killer dirtbag, and a hammer. While nothing presented can be considered prime entertainment, each segment moves too fast to leave behind the lingering stench of failure. Every tale breezes through shoddy action and dollar store F/X, and as such forms a harmless yet forgettable dungheap.
Spider Island
– (2026) – Influencers attending a new island resort encounter a murderous breed of arachnid, which the owner finds a minor inconvenience. Takes some digs at the annoyances of online attention whores, but there’s not much actual horror taking place. The spider activity is incredibly sparse, cheap, and ineffective, while the drama can’t handle the bulk of the remaining length.
Leviticus
– (2026) – Two young men are terrorized by an apparition that appears as each other. Begins by offering insights into homosexuality and religion, but not long after becomes just another tale of who’s who among drab characters in any form. It’s well made and has spouts of violence, but the whole time I kept longing to watch It Follows instead.
Amityvillenado
– (2026) – A few who visit the site of a murder house that was wiped out by a tornado become possessed by evil forces. Has points of progression and moves relatively fast while doing as much as it can with a meager budget. Still, there’s nothing here one hasn’t seen before, aside from a guy who’s possessed with sinister Hershey squirts. Mostly easy to withstand, despite an overlength of 111-minues.
Wizard of Death: Tinman’s Rise
– (2026) – A small family is hunted by a killer who’s donned in tin and sporting an ax. An experience not unlike banging your face against concrete, since there’s virtually nothing to observe that’s meaningful or memorable. Characters often scream, a stiff villain kills them in unimaginative ways, and the credits finally roll. There’s virtually nothing of substance here.
Pinocchio Unstrung
– (2026) – An orphaned kid is introduced to a boy made of wood who hopes to become human by ingesting human flesh. A remarkably dull jaunt that asks us to either care about children we barely know over a goddamn puppet. As horror this is okay since there is a lot of bloody violence, but as a narrative drama this lacks everything that could possibly create a single emotional experience. Kudos to the practical FX, but the script is garbage.
– (1977) – Two shark hunting womanizers share lovers while a tiger shark prowls their waters. More a vacation documentary than a horror movie, but the few shark kills are worthwhile. Slightly enjoyable, but too familiar.
– (2003) – A shy, regular Joe buys a sex doll that looks like the co-worker it helps him befriend. Involves from the start, and gradually becomes a warm story of friendship despite taking some obvious turns. A strangely gripping tale that ends on a cruel and unusual note.
– (2014) – A geek who’s pranked and humiliated by his peers exacts murderous revenge on those wrongdoers. There’s nothing about the plot that hasn’t been covered a million times before, but this one gets by on an absurd sense of humor. It’s certainly sloppy, yet absurdly so, and only lasts a speedy 55-minutes.
Bloodstalkers
– (1975) – Two couples vacationing at a cabin are tormented by yokels who dress like animals. Outside of a crime scene, this is an overlong and blood free bore that’s padded with too much gospel music and unintentional goofiness.
Cocaine Bear
– (2023) – A bear that ingests cocaine goes on a killing spree, much to the chagrin of the drug dealers who want their stock back. Pretty good when the bear is on the prowl, but rather drab when focused on the humans who aren’t as quirky as intended. Peaks with a wild paramedic scene, then gradually becomes a bore.
Severed
– (2005) – An experimental sap infects humans and turns them against lumberjacks and tree huggers. Not completely awful when the horror is presented, but the nonsense between characters is trite. Stark atmosphere is wasted on a schlock script.
From Beyond the Grave
– (1973) – Anthology of four stories that focus on a haunted mirror, a voodoo woman, a shoulder phantom and a mysterious door. Provides some amusement and creepy atmosphere, but loses too many bouts with sluggishness and silliness.
100 Tears
– (2007) – Reporters investigate murders caused by a fat clown with a huge axe. Features low level acting and a bland plot, but the gore is sometimes impressive. Too poorly made to rank above a terrible bloodbath.
Mother’s Day
– (1980) – Three female campers are abducted and later pursued by hillbilly brothers and their mother. Provides too much forced corn to come close to ranking among the many superior movies this one rips off. A boring concoction of failure with a wasteful conclusion.