Deathwoods
– (2026) – A group of friends vacate to the woods where they’re picked off by a killer when not hounded by local hillbillies. Yet another run-of-the-mill slasher that pits a so-called legendary killer against people with ordinary issues. There’s some blood n’ boobs here n’ there, but not enough to salvage a dull experience that isn’t as provoking as it wants to be.
Amityverse
– (2025) – Anthology of 10 stories that focus on Halloween night, a murderous clown, an evil spoon, a skeletal cop, a mime, a lawn ornament, a toilet, an invisible person, a killer dirtbag, and a hammer. While nothing presented can be considered prime entertainment, each segment moves too fast to leave behind the lingering stench of failure. Every tale breezes through shoddy action and dollar store F/X, and as such forms a harmless yet forgettable dungheap.
Spider Island
– (2026) – Influencers attending a new island resort encounter a murderous breed of arachnid, which the owner finds a minor inconvenience. Takes some digs at the annoyances of online attention whores, but there’s not much actual horror taking place. The spider activity is incredibly sparse, cheap, and ineffective, while the drama can’t handle the bulk of the remaining length.
Leviticus
– (2026) – Two young men are terrorized by an apparition that appears as each other. Begins by offering insights into homosexuality and religion, but not long after becomes just another tale of who’s who among drab characters in any form. It’s well made and has spouts of violence, but the whole time I kept longing to watch It Follows instead.
Amityvillenado
– (2026) – A few who visit the site of a murder house that was wiped out by a tornado become possessed by evil forces. Has points of progression and moves relatively fast while doing as much as it can with a meager budget. Still, there’s nothing here one hasn’t seen before, aside from a guy who’s possessed with sinister Hershey squirts. Mostly easy to withstand, despite an overlength of 111-minues.
Wizard of Death: Tinman’s Rise
– (2026) – A small family is hunted by a killer who’s donned in tin and sporting an ax. An experience not unlike banging your face against concrete, since there’s virtually nothing to observe that’s meaningful or memorable. Characters often scream, a stiff villain kills them in unimaginative ways, and the credits finally roll. There’s virtually nothing of substance here.
– (2008) – A bullied kid forms a unique bond with an adolescent vampire. Takes some time to get rolling, but eventually grips with equal traces of heart and non-silly vampirism. Has a few powerful surprises, though not everything is completely unique.
– (1981) – Tourists in an abandoned ghost town are slowly picked off by an unseen killer. An unrealistically dull chore where dialog is so scarce that characters consistently stop each other from speaking. Fails at every attempt to mean anything.
– (2018) – A small group of young women form a coven to benefit themselves and ruin others. Does a good job showcasing bitchy girls with minor vendettas, but never creates a distinctive social point outside obvious horror tropes. Has some authentic humor, but is consistently routine.
Animals
– (1999) – A group of dirtbags torment an innocent family in the woods. A couple of moments feel real, but the bulk is familiar nonsense that could never match the highs of The Hills Have Eyes. Unoriginal and ugly, but does have something of an energetic spark.
Prey (2007)
– (2007) – Two kids and their father’s new wife become trapped in a jeep while on a safari outing. Gets off to an atrocious start that feels like a bad TV sitcom, and while this never reaches minimal enjoyment the plot does shift enough so that it’s not always a Cujo clone. Entirely predicable, and entirely unnecessary as the whole plot is the result of a child having to take a dump.
Amityville Cop
– (2021) – A possessed and deceased cop makes trouble for a small police force on New Year’s Eve. While this does show mercy by only lasting 68-minutes, that hour is jam packed with nothing special. Murders are too infrequent, the comic relief is terrible, and there’s nothing “Amityville” about it.
The Four Skulls of Jonathan Drake
– (1959) – A voodoo doctor collects the heads of the Drake clan on each of their sixtieth birthdays. An involving and almost creepy premise that falls victim to too much drama and a pace that refuses to move.
Clowntergeist
– (2017) – A girl who’s afraid of clowns is haunted by the ghostly form of one. Hard to condemn since it tries to have commendable characters and horrific moments, yet the payoff is lost to confusion in the skittish plot. Rather stupid and annoying, and the villain isn’t exactly menacing.
Buttcrack
– (1998) – An irritating roommate is accidentally killed, and returns to continue ruining human lives. Moderately funny when dealing with the namesake’s annoyances, but that’s pretty much all this offers. The comedy wears thin, the horror is lousy, and anything resembling a point is non-existent.