Evil Dead Burn
– (2026) – A young widow visits the family of her deceased husband only to discover their dysfunction has ties to demonic possession. Mainly gets by on violence and some neat camerawork, since there isn’t a single character worth cheering for. This is by far the lesser entry in the series mainly because the participants are just as despicable as humans as they are as deadites. Every moment is so dour and humorless that the weight of the depression gets tiresome fast, which ultimately leads to empty mayhem.
Ice Cream Man (2026)
– (2026) – Kids who eat ice cream from the same vendor become possessed killers who slaughter every adult that nears them. A giddy show of violence that spills blood, intestines and puke all over the screen. It’s fun as such, and the teen/pre-teen actors aren’t bad, but the backstory, and only point of drama, is pretty lackluster. In all this is a goofy good time that’s short and moves fast.
The Last Amityville Movie
– (2023) – A man who receives a doorknob from a haunted house starts experiencing minor haunts. Acknowledges the vast amount of Amityville movies before becoming one, but the premise isn’t as clever as intended since it never provides finality as to why these movies exist nor why they absolutely should end. It’s just another cruddy Amityville movie with a misleading title.
Once Upon a Time in Amityville
– (2024) – Bounty hunters seek a refuge in a haunted town. It’s hard to fathom how a film that only runs 71-minutes can cause such monumental grief. The main reason this equates torture is largely due to languidness. The diminutive cast does little but meander from one scene to the next while occasionally coming across a cheap effect. There’s simply no life to the proceedings, as though the digital imprint itself is dead.
Funeral
– (2025) – A small group of people gather for a closed casket funeral during a snow storm, then find they can’t escape the parlor. While this does touch on themes of youth, old age, death and commitment to country, there’s never a sense of exactly what’s happening or why. When the end results are rendered? Good luck not groaning with disapproval. Probes the meaning of life, but does so through a haphazard screenplay.
Amityverse: Infinity
– (2026) – Anthology of 10 stories that focus on a suicide, a radio, singing ghosts, a devious shrink, shark-crabs, a shitting spirit, a cult leader, a dentist, a killer director, and hand puppets. While each story is so short we’re quickly put out of our misery, they’re still a trial to sit through. Every segment is cheaper than dirt, and range from mostly bad to impossibly irritating. Might have been fun for those who created this hell, but the rest of us are made to suffer.
– (2007) – A group of semi-friends enter an attraction where imagined fears become real. Takes itself too seriously, as none of the fears are established through anything but lame transitions. Has professional moments, but the overall story and its progressions are sheer garbage.
– (2025) – A meteor fragment makes its way into an old sailor’s pipe and turns him into a jacked-up killing machine. While the acting is mostly terrible, the players at least attempt livelihood in their underwritten characters. Since the human aspect leaves a lot to be desired, there’s not much else to focus on but gore, which is undoubtedly outrageous at times. Moves fast, spills blood, and doesn’t last long.
– (1989) – Humans scramble for ways to stop or survive Godzilla, who’s on the hunt for a giant plant made of his cells. The assassin and telekinesis subplots only bog down the progression, which is a shame since this one features the most inventive and sinister monster villain yet. Far from emotional, and action is sporadic, but holds attention throughout.
House of 1000 Corpses
– (2002) – Two couples on a road trip in search of twisted attractions encounter a family more warped than they could have imagined. An easy watch, but the heroes are too obnoxious to root for and the villains too campy to fear. Lacks focus all around, but gets better once the more irritating characters are dead.
Jersey Shore Shark Attack
– (2012) – Ravenous albino sharks invade the realm of bimbos and jarheads. Has something of a plot involving slobs vs. snobs, but is mostly about random horror and rampant stupidity. Awful as a linear film, but does entertain here and there with some genuine humor.
Resident Evil: Apocalypse
– (2004) – People become zombies thanks to a virus that brings about an illogical number of dead. A noisy, incoherent wreck with too much action and not nearly enough development. The ceaseless techno soundtrack is apt to cause a headache.
Vault of Horror
– (1973) – Anthology of five stories that focus on vampires, a neat freak, a magical rope, a buried man and a voodoo artist. Each tale is pretty bland, but they often finish unpredictably. Moves fast, but never raises the creep factor above moderate.
Frightworld
– (2006) – A group of friends spend a night in a funhouse to screw and die. Pairs horrendously empty characters with one of the more pathetic villains in trash cinema. Sparse moments of over-the-top gore do nothing to help. Awful.
Combat Shock
– (1986) – A former POW has a hard time providing for his family in complete poverty. A rotten beginning features the saddest attempt to pass off random woods as the jungles of Vietnam, and the musical score could be the most nauseating ever recorded. Gets better and grittier toward a disturbing finale, but by then all emotion is lost.