Boorman and the Devil
– (2025) – Documentary that explores the creation of Exorcist II: The Heretic, one of the worst movies ever concocted by humans with actual talent. A mostly-fascinating recount of how a thought-promising script became a filming nightmare thanks to so many unforeseen circumstances. We often laugh at films that bomb financially, yet the final third illustrates the sadness of those involved as no one intends to create art worth laughing at. Informative and ultimately emotional.
Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma
– (2026) – A queer director is hired to reboot a horror series about a killer who was raised as a boy and a girl. Takes a meta approach to storytelling that tries to keep this from becoming an ordinary slasher, but neither the movie itself, nor the movie-within-the-movie works very well. The results aren’t as thought-provoking nor as emotionally complex as intended since the wussy music is a distraction against conventional angst, the killer’s air vent design is laughably distracting, while the whole point is swallowed up by an uneven narrative tone. Simply put: a mess.
Night Harvest
– (2024) – Two couples on a road trip befall a killer who wears a pumpkin over his head. Oh, and for some reason one the characters can start fires with his mind. An all around waste of bandwidth since the participants say and do nothing of significance, yet act as though every move they make is insightful. Only has a few moments of violence, but there’s plenty of chatter among drab nobodies.
Evil Dead Burn
– (2026) – A young widow visits the family of her deceased husband only to discover their dysfunction has ties to demonic possession. Mainly gets by on violence and some neat camerawork, since there isn’t a single character worth cheering for. This is by far the lesser entry in the series mainly because the participants are just as despicable as humans as they are as deadites. Every moment is so dour and humorless that the weight of the depression gets tiresome fast, which ultimately leads to empty mayhem.
Ice Cream Man (2026)
– (2026) – Kids who eat ice cream from the same vendor become possessed killers who slaughter every adult that nears them. A giddy show of violence that spills blood, intestines and puke all over the screen. It’s fun as such, and the teen/pre-teen actors aren’t bad, but the backstory, and only point of drama, is pretty lackluster. In all this is a goofy good time that’s short and moves fast.
The Last Amityville Movie
– (2023) – A man who receives a doorknob from a haunted house starts experiencing minor haunts. Acknowledges the vast amount of Amityville movies before becoming one, but the premise isn’t as clever as intended since it never provides finality as to why these movies exist nor why they absolutely should end. It’s just another cruddy Amityville movie with a misleading title.
– (2024) – Animals once abandoned by a human continue their destructive ways. There’s really not plot to speak of, as the only story relates to the occurrences of the first film, but I doubt anyone will show up for the narrative. Those coming for the violence certainly won’t be let down, as the murders deliver some truly heavy punches. Thin but brutal.
– (1999) – An ordinary working man who gets hypnotized has visions that lead him on a ghostly quest. Not everything makes sense, and the finale doesn’t expose anything new, but this is a gratifying effort all around. Relatable characters are a welcoming highlight.
– (2010) – Three friends become stranded on a ski lift just before the resort closes for the week. The entire scenario reeks of idiotic convenience, while the scenes of “terror” are comically overdramatic. Illogical and drab.
Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings
– (2011) – Stranded skiers hole up in an asylum where inbred mutants stalk and eat them. Sports some okay violence, but the scenes of torture are worn out and tend to bore. Characters on either side of bad are typical throwaways. An unnecessary set-up to the lackluster original.
Jaws 2
– (1978) – A killer shark invades an ocean, but only Chief Brody learned anything from the previous encounter. It’s clear from the start that this has nothing new to offer, as the plot is already redundant. Sprinkles in some suspense, but too many inactive water scenes only advance the flatness.
Zombie Chronicles
– (2001) – A lost woman picks up a hitchhiker who tells her a couple of lousy zombie stories. Means well, but is basically backyard drivel with a few sprinkles of gore. Almost a complete waste, but (somehow) there are worse.
The Kiss
– (1988) – When the sister of a dead woman moves in with her sibling’s family, people begin to die. The plot isn’t very sound, and the voodoo motif makes no sense, but much of what’s here is worthwhile on a low level. Has an almost-exciting ending, but that too comes up short.
Drive Thru
– (2007) – A guy in a ridiculous clown costume kills teens who have ties to his disfigurement. Okay when straightforward, but pretty bad when dealing with the scattered workings of the killer. Has a distracting soundtrack, and most of the comedy fails, but it’s better than many bad slashers.
Psycho a Go-Go
– (1965) – Robbers who dump their stash in a random vehicle track down the family of said vehicle. An abominable waste of time with a sad story, pathetic characters, and a nauseously repetitive score. Perhaps intelligent for twenty seconds.