Insidious: Out of the Further
– (2026) – A woman travels in and out of another dimension while pursued by those who intend to bring the dead to the living realm… or something. The plot is literally all over the place, and is unfortunately grounded by characters with largely weak pasts and presents. The horror inclusions aren’t bad, but their grizzliness can’t salvage the overall sluggishness.
The Houses October Built 2
– (2017) – To recover from their trauma of a violent haunted house experience, a group of friends embark on a tour of haunted house attractions. The whole film is basically an excuse to travelogue actual haunt attractions while ultimately adding one as “real” fictional danger to serve their selfish purposes. This isn’t a movie so much as a documentary meshed with an uninvolving narrative.
Midget Zombie Takeover
– (2013) – A small group of friends attending a hot tub party encounter zombies, one of whom is short. This feels like nothing more than a weekend shoot among non-actors and non-filmmakers flaunting how characters with zero personalities can resist a handful of meandering zombies. Nice try, title, but the only midget involved sits within the brain of this dud’s creator.
Last Shift
– (2014) – A rookie police officer on her first night in a closing precinct experiences a wide variety of haunts. This is a constant battle between two elements: bad drama and bad horror. Each area lacks fleshing out, leaving us with a dull lead battling trivial ghostly shenanigans. There’s simply not enough known about anyone or anything involved, which cripples any chance this had at becoming suspenseful. You can’t fear what you don’t care about.
Don’t Move (2026)
– (2026) – Something is picking off patrons of a wooded religious retreat, prompting strangers to band together in the name of survival. A mostly lame experience that begins with perhaps the cheesiest family ever committed to film, yet the characterizations only worsen thereafter. There isn’t a single person who’s realistically relatable, so when the horror finally kicks in we accept reprieve in their deaths. Far more irritating that intimidating.
Hallowarrior
– (2026) – The supposed last girl on Earth spends Halloween alone (naturally) until she’s visited upon by three other survivors and multiple human monsters. A post-apocalyptic dud that only identifies a few characters, yet can’t do anything significant with any of them. The entirety takes place in one location, so there’s no chance new sets will distract anyone from the monotony. Worse still, the lead is referred to as “Pumpkin” so many times that one might actually want to smash her against pavement.
– (2019) – A seemingly immortal killer spreads his evil every Halloween. Has decent violence and some holiday atmosphere, but that’s pretty much where praise ends. The characters are dim, the plot is a corny mess, and the name Trick is spoken to obnoxious levels of repetition. We get it. His name is Trick. Short for Patrick. Big whoop.
– (1987) – Anthology of three stories that focus on a starving family, body thieves, and an incredibly long wraparound about the mother of a dead boy. Sets the bar for the lowest quality allowed in a released film. The storytelling is awful, but there are plenty of amusements and a great throat slash.
– (1999) – Documentary that focuses on an ambitious filmmaker who aims to surpass society through low budget horror features. In some ways enlightening when dealing with dreams, but wholly depressing when dealing with reality. A strong case for why having a backup plan in life is essential.
Slaughterhouse
– (1987) – A fat guy kills locals when his father’s slaughterhouse is foreclosed upon. Has few redeeming qualities since every character serves as an irritation, but at least the gore is mediocre. There are certainly worse movies, but few annoy as much.
Python 2
– (2002) – A married couple with a truck is hired to contain a genetically enhanced snake. There isn’t much horror, and none of the actions are remotely unique. Moves relatively fast, but is fueled by unoriginal crud.
The Basement
– (1989) – Anthology of four stories that focus on a murderous pool, a Halloween Scrooge, movie set zombies, and a haunted house. Though the stories are far from original, they do display an ambitious care for horror. The acting is atrocious, the overdubbing hysterical, and the cheap F/X highly amusing.
Satan War
-(1979) – A married couple moves into a house that inverts crosses and spews gook. Begins with an overlong satanic ritual that paves the way for the sheer boredom that follows. There’s hardly any dialog, barely any movement, and not one inkling of suspense. For some reason ends with a voodoo ritual.
It (2017)
– (2017) – A group of kids are haunted by a shape-shifting clown when not hounded by bullies. Works incredibly well by presenting personable characters amid horrifying situations (with too much CGI). Mostly leaves adults out of the mix, which is a bit distracting, but does allow us to focus on the camaraderie among the leads, which results in an emotionally satisfying outcome. Pennywise, in his few scenes, is highly effective.
The Dark Side of Midnight
– (1984) – A killer’s on the loose in a town whose mayor is more concerned with building a university. The victims are the highlight early on, but a steady stream of repetitive banter quickly takes over. Unforgivably long, and has no idea how to build suspense or drama.