Easter Sunday
– (2014) – The soul of a deceased killer possesses someone who murders in order to become immortal. The bad horror elements are one thing, as this doesn’t do anything outside the norm of similarly lame movies, but what absolutely destroys the experience is any attempt at comedy. Folks, this movie is not funny. The killer’s one liners, the poorly-delivered dialog, and the mannerisms of the lead actor never fail to irritate. Just plain awful.
Popeye: The Slayer Man
– (2025) – A group of friends investigating an old spinach factory encounter a legendary sailor who has an affinity for killing. A pretty lousy experience that skirts by on two things: 1. The acting isn’t half bad. 2. Some plot points are so ridiculous you can’t help but laugh. The violence is also okay, but the pacing is far too drab to rise above any other cheapie of this sort.
After School Massacre
– (2014) – A teacher who’s fired for talking to a student outside school embarks on a killing spree. The look is awful and the gore is pathetic, but some of the actresses are naturally bratty and as such pretty funny. Not the worst way to kill 74-minutes, but half a star was subtracted for the godawful rap song that plays during the closing credits.
Demonic Toys: Jack Attack
– (2023) – A clown and a jack-in-the-box make trouble for a few orphanage patrons. Doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, as the plot isn’t exactly air tight, but there are worse ways to kill an hour. The acting is decent, the pace is quick, and the violence is (mostly) supplied with practical F/X. Good, but far from great.
Baby Oopsie 3: Burn Baby Burn
– (2022) – A doll maker contends with a possessed friend and murderous toys while a priest is attempting to aid her. Picks up where the previous entry unwisely left off, and though there’s no proper reason as why this film was split, this one at least has more action, as mayhem does kick into high gear from the second half on. Short and meaningless, but somewhat fun.
Baby Oopsie 2: Murder Dolls
– (2022) – A troubled woman is coerced into creating two companions for her murderous doll. What’s here is decent as far as low budget cheese is concerned, but it’s merely a talky start to a conclusion that will be wrapped up in the next entry. Much like the plot, the plan to turn one movie into two makes zero sense, as this entry only provides the nagging feeling that the best will be saved for last.
your a-z guide to obscure & classic horror movies
– (2012) – A clairvoyant explains how he became entangled in a surreal world of creatures and mind tricks. Constantly moves between past and present, but confusion never sets in as the plot is unique enough to keep up with. The main problem is that the overall results aren’t nearly as engaging as the ambitious set-up.
– (2011) – Arizona residents and a few soldiers come under attack from oversized desert arachnids. Aside from the high volume of repetitive deaths, nothing happens to sustain interest. The FX are terrible, but somehow the acting and logic fare worse.
– (2018) – A group of friends party at a house where they deal with issues of their personal pasts. While it’s true a demon does show up, don’t let the title fool you. This is mainly a dull story that focuses on characters suffering from lackluster dramatic traits. Slow, cheap, and hollow.
Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines
– (2012) – A group of friends fall prey to mutants who have legendary ties to their small town’s murderous past. The violence is inventive and sometimes disturbing, but that’s all this has going for it. The logic, acting, and dialog are insultingly hideous.
Bad CGI Gator
– (2023) – A group of friends rent a cabin near a lake where an alligator goes on a rampage after eating a laptop. It’s nearly impossible to judge a movie that’s aware of how terrible it is, though there are some amusing moments and performances. Runs less than an hour yet somehow feels much longer.
Zombie Island Massacre
– (1984) – Island vacationers are picked off one by one ensuing the resurrection of a zombie, yet all the deaths are due to a drug deal. Aside from Manfredini’s familiar score (that reminds of much better films), this is a waste of time where the highlights — kill scenes — are badly edited.
Cryptz
– (2002) – Three friends are forced into a strip club housed by vampires. Does the best it can with a dirt cheap budget, though the standard plot only leads to an okay-at-best time. Gets by on likable characters and a few horror moments worth noting.
The Clown Murders
– (1976) – A lot goes wrong when a group of guys kidnap a girl. Impossible to tell what’s happening since the dialog accomplishes nothing while the actions are drop-dead boring. Lacks horror, drama, and involvement.
Terror Firmer
– (1999) – A homicidal hermaphrodite further complicates an already screwed up movie set. Every scene arrangement feels jumbled, though most of the chaotic events are zany and far from politically correct. Gets better after a lousy beginning, but full blown enjoyment comes in small doses.