Spider Island
– (2026) – Influencers attending a new island resort encounter a murderous breed of arachnid, which the owner finds a minor inconvenience. Takes some digs at the annoyances of online attention whores, but there’s not much actual horror taking place. The spider activity is incredibly sparse, cheap, and ineffective, while the drama can’t handle the bulk of the remaining length.
Leviticus
– (2026) – Two young men are terrorized by an apparition that appears as each other. Begins by offering insights into homosexuality and religion, but not long after becomes just another tale of who’s who among drab characters in any form. It’s well made and has spouts of violence, but the whole time I kept longing to watch It Follows instead.
Amityvillenado
– (2026) – A few who visit the site of a murder house that was wiped out by a tornado become possessed by evil forces. Has points of progression and moves relatively fast while doing as much as it can with a meager budget. Still, there’s nothing here one hasn’t seen before, aside from a guy who’s possessed with sinister Hershey squirts. Mostly easy to withstand, despite an overlength of 111-minues.
Wizard of Death: Tinman’s Rise
– (2026) – A small family is hunted by a killer who’s donned in tin and sporting an ax. An experience not unlike banging your face against concrete, since there’s virtually nothing to observe that’s meaningful or memorable. Characters often scream, a stiff villain kills them in unimaginative ways, and the credits finally roll. There’s virtually nothing of substance here.
Pinocchio Unstrung
– (2026) – An orphaned kid is introduced to a boy made of wood who hopes to become human by ingesting human flesh. A remarkably dull jaunt that asks us to either care about children we barely know over a goddamn puppet. As horror this is okay since there is a lot of bloody violence, but as a narrative drama this lacks everything that could possibly create a single emotional experience. Kudos to the practical FX, but the script is garbage.
Dream Scenario
– (2023) – Many people in a small community are dreaming about the same mild-mannered professor, which is a quirk for all until their dreams become violent. Begins as a curious comedy that darkens as it goes while consistently building sympathy for the hapless protagonist. Has some issues with pacing and tone, and the conclusion isn’t fully embraceable, but this is often humorous, sad, and surprising in all the right ways.
– (2007) – Vacationing friends run into a manmade virus that turns humans and vultures into warped killers. The scenes that act on the results of the epidemic are bad enough, but the explanations actually lower their awful qualities. Equally grotesque and pathetic.
– (1995) – A deranged ice cream vendor terrorizes the neighborhood by means of his trade. Begins with a twisted blend of horror and adventure, but ends on a sour note. Goes from bad fun to just plain bad in a blink.
– (2014) – A man with too many financial responsibilities is lured into a game of committing crimes for money. The premise is intriguing, as are some of the acts carried out by the lead, but one major gripe is how often he too easily escapes capture. Not air tight, but steadily watchable.
Hunters
– (2016) – Several innocent people fall victim to killers who won’t shut up about their takes on life. A miserable experience that does nothing but showcase one scene of torture after another. Has no plot, but displays high levels of hatred toward humanity.
Primate
– (2025) – A group of friends vacate to Hawaii in an estate where they’re stalked and slaughtered by a rabid chimp. A throwback to simple slasher times when types gather to get mauled by a killer, only now the psycho is short and hairy. Doesn’t win points for plot progression or character growth, and too much time is spent in a pool, but the violence is satisfyingly grim.
One Dark Night
– (1983) – Girls spend the night in a mausoleum where a corpse lures other corpses out of their tombs. Has equal traces of teenage initiation banter and zombie horror nonsense, but they never quite gel. A little creepy, but mostly stale.
Child’s Play (1988)
– (1988) – A dying serial killer possesses a doll who must transfer his soul into a 6-year-old boy. Could easily have failed if not handled properly, but the premise is carefully constructed through believable acting and some tense moments. Rightfully memorable for hitting a few horrific and dramatic notes.
Scary Movie (2026)
– (2026) – Someone’s stalking the children of the main characters of the original Scary Movie. That’s basically the entire plot, since any other story intentions are lost to an assault of jokes. While there are no huge laughs, and some humor lands with a thud, there’s plenty to chuckle over throughout thanks largely to the antics of returning cast members from prior entries (this is Part 6). Feels as though it was edited with a hand mixer, as scenes come and go without cohesion, but by the end just-enough fun is had.
Class of Nuke ‘Em High Part 2: Subhumanoid Meltdown
– (1991) – Scientists in the Troma Institute of Technology (get it?) create humans with mouths for belly buttons, for no great purpose. The intro is fast, furious and morbidly funny, but everything afterwards loses too many traces of progression. Bizarre on purpose and often worthless, but Tromie the mutant squirrel is a show stealer.