Insidious: Out of the Further
– (2026) – A woman travels in and out of another dimension while pursued by those who intend to bring the dead to the living realm… or something. The plot is literally all over the place, and is unfortunately grounded by characters with largely weak pasts and presents. The horror inclusions aren’t bad, but their grizzliness can’t salvage the overall sluggishness.
The Houses October Built 2
– (2017) – To recover from their trauma of a violent haunted house experience, a group of friends embark on a tour of haunted house attractions. The whole film is basically an excuse to travelogue actual haunt attractions while ultimately adding one as “real” fictional danger to serve their selfish purposes. This isn’t a movie so much as a documentary meshed with an uninvolving narrative.
Midget Zombie Takeover
– (2013) – A small group of friends attending a hot tub party encounter zombies, one of whom is short. This feels like nothing more than a weekend shoot among non-actors and non-filmmakers flaunting how characters with zero personalities can resist a handful of meandering zombies. Nice try, title, but the only midget involved sits within the brain of this dud’s creator.
Last Shift
– (2014) – A rookie police officer on her first night in a closing precinct experiences a wide variety of haunts. This is a constant battle between two elements: bad drama and bad horror. Each area lacks fleshing out, leaving us with a dull lead battling trivial ghostly shenanigans. There’s simply not enough known about anyone or anything involved, which cripples any chance this had at becoming suspenseful. You can’t fear what you don’t care about.
Don’t Move (2026)
– (2026) – Something is picking off patrons of a wooded religious retreat, prompting strangers to band together in the name of survival. A mostly lame experience that begins with perhaps the cheesiest family ever committed to film, yet the characterizations only worsen thereafter. There isn’t a single person who’s realistically relatable, so when the horror finally kicks in we accept reprieve in their deaths. Far more irritating that intimidating.
Hallowarrior
– (2026) – The supposed last girl on Earth spends Halloween alone (naturally) until she’s visited upon by three other survivors and multiple human monsters. A post-apocalyptic dud that only identifies a few characters, yet can’t do anything significant with any of them. The entirety takes place in one location, so there’s no chance new sets will distract anyone from the monotony. Worse still, the lead is referred to as “Pumpkin” so many times that one might actually want to smash her against pavement.
– (2011) – The number eleven plays a predominant role in Satan’s return through a child. Has echoes of classic films, but feels like a spoof of the religious genre. Takes itself far too seriously, but is mildly entertaining in doing so.
– (1992) – The father and son of a dead actress relocate near a cemetery that causes the dead to rise. A hypnotically dull pace is bogged down even further by some impossibly lifeless acting. The lone highlight — which still stinks — is Clancy Brown as a zombie who’s too reminiscent of the lead in C.H.U.D. II.
– (2019) – Family members of the original film’s victims seek revenge against their adversary and her daughter. The concept holds promise by tying in decades of rage, but most of what occurs brings that notion to incredible lows for three reasons: (1) the characters are impossibly obnoxious; (2) the plot becomes a pale retread of Part One; (3) the two-and-a-half hour length is about two hours too long for such a scant, poorly written script. Why 148 minutes? WHY!?
Big Driver
– (2014) – An author on a reading tour is raped by a hillbilly and unravels while attempting her next vengeful step. Lacks conviction right out of the gate thanks to phony characters and advancements that try too hard to shock. Wants to entertain through psychological means, but everything’s been seen before.
Rise of the Animals
– (2011) – A group of friends try to survive an onslaught of murderous woodland creatures. The true horror comes from the story and characters, while the terror expectations are hilariously awful. The F/X are deplorable enough to salvage what would have been a bore.
A Christmas Horror Story
– (2015) – Anthology of intertwining stories that focus on ritual murders, an anti-Santa, zombie elves, and a possessed kid. Tries to come across as the Christmas version of Trick ‘r Treat, but unlike that film nothing much works here. The twists are lame, the tone is dull, and the only scares come from loud bangs.
Zombie Nightmare
– (1986) – A guy who’s struck down by a car is resurrected to exact revenge on his assailants. Fails to generate much interest, mainly because the lead villain is killed only two-thirds in. The slow pace doesn’t help, but some of the stupidity is amusing.
Mr. Jingles
– (2006) – Stoners make trouble for a girl who was previously victimized by a killer clown. Has an okay concept that’s ruined by a terrible script and shallow, lowlife characters. An irritating excuse for (sometimes nifty) gore.
Parts of the Family
– (2003) – A killer on the lam holes up in the worst possible house of choice. A little confusing in structure, but once sense is made of the occurrences become somewhat fulfilling. Begins as a common crime story before turning into a nutty zombie yarn.