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Amityville Vampire

★★☆☆ – (2021) – A mismatched couple on a car trip recount the tale of vampires who once frequented the area. The flashback scenes, though ordinary, do set a dark mood while spilling blood, but time spent with the modern day duo is close to torture. There’s also a segment involving rapist campers for some reason. All told? Some of this is okay, but most is rancid.

 202 total views,  25 views today

The Amityville Moon

★★☆☆ – (2021) – A werewolf is attacking troubled girls in and around the church that houses them. Aside from a street sign on the Long Island Expressway, this has nothing to do with Amityville. It’s simply standard lycanthrope fare no matter the location. Some cheap gore highlights the boredom, and drama angles are attempted, but in the end this is nowhere near as emotional as it thinks it is.

 422 total views,  21 views today

Amityville Cult

★☆☆☆ – (2021) – A man inherits a house in a town called Amityville, though it’s not the same house or town you’re thinking about. Has a ton of talk about a lame backstory involving a coven, but not much in the way of actual horror. A drab drama with unrealistic dialog and high school theater acting that worsens as it goes. When the horror aspects do eventually arrive, they’re rather awful.

 496 total views,  24 views today

Amityville Cop

★½☆☆ – (2021) – A possessed and deceased cop makes trouble for a small police force on New Year’s Eve. While this does show mercy by only lasting 68-minutes, that hour is jam packed with nothing special. Murders are too infrequent, the comic relief is terrible, and there’s nothing “Amityville” about it.

 609 total views,  23 views today

13 Fanboy

★½☆☆ – (2021) – Someone’s picking off Friday the 13th actors as though they’re characters from the films. Blends real actors from the series portraying themselves, a real actor from the films portraying a new character, and actors that never appeared in the series who take center stage. In other words: what a mess! Seeing some familiar faces is nice, but this would have benefitted greatly from a working script with an actual narrative flow.

 880 total views,  25 views today

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