The Giant Spider Invasion
– (1975) – A meteor crash lands in a rural town and brings with it diamonds and spiders. A gloriously ridiculous mess with humor that ranges from intentional to completely accidental. Characters are fun and colorful, as is their goofy bantering, while the spider design is simply awful even by low budget standards.
117 total views, 52 views today
– (2023) – A bear that ingests cocaine goes on a killing spree, much to the chagrin of the drug dealers who want their stock back. Pretty good when the bear is on the prowl, but rather drab when focused on the humans who aren’t as quirky as intended. Peaks with a wild paramedic scene, then gradually becomes a bore.
270 total views, 34 views today
Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle
– (2022) – A marine biologist and a human cell scientist become closer acquaintances before they’re besieged by angry birds. Every line of dialog either preaches about global warming or waxes poetic about Hitchcock’s Vertigo, while the winged activity is much lesser this time around (the birds first arrive 57-minutes in). Still amusing in a so-awful-it’s-good way, but also drags more than the previous entries.
506 total views, 31 views today
Dark Night of the Scarecrow 2
– (2022) – A mother and her son relocate to a small town where a ghostly scarecrow once dwelled and now prowls again. While ties to the previous entry are attempted, there isn’t any of the original’s suspense or meaning in a single ounce of this. Horror is sparse, the witness protection plot stinks, and the processes of filmmaking range from shoddy to downright inefficient.
658 total views, 31 views today
Earth Girls Are Easy
– (1988) – Three hairy aliens crash land into the pool of a woman who’s having infidelity issues. Gets off to a vibrant, funny, chaotic start with the promise of good things to come. However, once the aliens are shaved this settles into a slapstick plot with drowsy, predictable advancements. On the ultimate plus side, Geena Davis has never looked better.
798 total views, 28 views today
your a-z guide to obscure & classic horror movies
– (2021) – Talkative teens believe a witch is possessing others to commit a slew of murders in their small town. An incredibly noisy outing that begins with too many 90’s music clips, piles in characters who never shut up, and features a score that rarely stops playing. The plot is a mess and the length is too long, but this does at least attempt a credible mystery.
4,790 total views, 2 views today
– (2007) – College friends on a road trip become stranded in a small town of violent hicks and a decapitated ghost. Has a lot going on amid a variety of ideas, but nothing means squat since each aspect has been seen or heard a million times before. Has more to do with Wrong Turn than the titular legend.
2,711 total views, 1 views today
Atomic Brain Invasion
– (2012) – A ragtag band of teenage types aim to stop an alien takeover. Means well, and might have worked in the hands of capable actors and filmmakers, but ambition can only stretch patience so far. The main problem is that where one joke works, thirty fail.
2,367 total views, 1 views today
– (1963) – A small town is invaded by flocks of pissed off birds. The winged activity is okay, but the character relationships irritate. The whole set-up is without any conviction (the lead seriously travels 60 miles to break into a stranger’s house to give him birds) therefore, the action lacks emotion.
2,353 total views, 1 views today
– (2005) – Religious students and their redneck boyfriends take on a hoard of zombies. The banter between characters is often okay, but the horror is dollar store quality. Terrible, but somewhat quirky and runs less than an hour.
2,013 total views, 2 views today
– (2019) – A girl is abducted by an affluent family that has ties to a voodoo curse. Pretty pitiful out of the gate, and worsens the more the story is explained. There’s simply too much corn in every character and plot point, and far too many close-ups of irritating actors.
3,501 total views, 2 views today
Clowns of Halloween
– (2019) – Anthology of three stories that focus on a killer clown, a killer doll clown, and another killer clown. The first story shows some signs of life, but the second is a basic repeat only with a toy, while the third is a stagnant bore. Yet another backyard effort by those with no clue how to tell one tale, let alone three.
2,670 total views, 1 views today
Merchants of Death
– (1988) – Doctors are taking in patients for their organs, to the dismay of a father of abducted children. There’s certainly stuff occurring between cops and bad guys, but the reason is too simplistic and every character is stock. A bore.
2,204 total views, 3 views today