Don’t Move (2026)
– (2026) – Something is picking off patrons of a wooded religious retreat, prompting strangers to band together in the name of survival. A mostly lame experience that begins with perhaps the cheesiest family ever committed to film, yet the characterizations only worsen thereafter. There isn’t a single person who’s realistically relatable, so when the horror finally kicks in we accept reprieve in their deaths. Far more irritating that intimidating.
Hallowarrior
– (2026) – The supposed last girl on Earth spends Halloween alone (naturally) until she’s visited upon by three other survivors and multiple human monsters. A post-apocalyptic dud that only identifies a few characters, yet can’t do anything significant with any of them. The entirety takes place in one location, so there’s no chance new sets will distract anyone from the monotony. Worse still, the lead is referred to as “Pumpkin” so many times that one might actually want to smash her against pavement.
Buddy
– (2026) – When the mascot of a children’s show starts killing its co-stars, the survivors flee to a protected realm. Meanwhile, in the real world, a woman who believes she forgot about having one of her children is sucked into the show. In other words: huh? The first act is by far the highlight as the morbidity is both disturbing and humorous, but this runs out of gas shortly thereafter. Though some sadism remains, repetition creeps in and drags down the initial enjoyment.
V/H/S/Mixtape
– (2026) – Anthology of four stories that focus on singing puppets, a couple trapped in a cube, a mysterious musician, and a killer recording her murders. If the sole intention of each story was to create a massive headache, then congrats filmmakers, you succeeded admirably since each segment is magnanimously earsplitting. Some of the practical F/X are fine, but they don’t come close to saving the weak stories, the irritating acting, and the utterly meaningless interludes.
Mark of the Witch
– (1970) – A woman who was hung as a witch returns 300 years later in the body of a college student. That’s pretty much all this is about, aside from two guys who try (and fail) to set things straight with the spiritual happenings. It’s goofy enough to skirt by on camp, but nothing that occurs ever raises a pulse.
Onslaught
– (2026) – Three lab enhanced super soldiers make their way to a trailer park where a former sniper keenly protects her daughter. This might be in the same universe as The Guest, but isn’t close to the same league. The mother/daughter drama feels forced while the action/horror dynamic feels underdeveloped. Some of the violence is okay, but there’s simply not enough of it to counteract the dull drama. Essentially, this is about an eternally pissed off woman who takes on cartoon warriors.
– (1994) – A woman who abandoned her husband and children forces her way back into their lives. Hard to take seriously thanks largely to low-rent direction, predictable advancements, and a serious lack of suspense. Corny, unrealistic, and nearly impossible to relate to.
– (2020) – An evil witch aims to resurrect a demon while good witches protect her final sacrifice. A Z-grade tale of vengeful power that’s been told so often it’s hard not to predict the outcome during the opening credits. The only terror stems from three actresses ravaged by Botox, which should never be a horror film’s most frightening aspect. This also has nothing to do with Amityville, which is no longer a surprise given how many Amityville titles exist.
– (1971) – Knights with no eyes rise from the dead when the living enter their territory. Starts promising with strong character interactions and some of the creepiest villains in horror. The story stalls around the half hour mark when things get ridiculous, but a tense finale saves the day.
Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III
– (1990) – A couple on a road trip to Florida encounter a cannibalistic clan in Texas. Doesn’t feature the heaviest of plots, but has plenty of tense and grotesque moments to outweigh the dramatic faults. Despite having gone through post-production hell, the end result still packs some heavy punches.
The Killer Shrews
– (1959) – Moles the size of dogs terrorize a sea captain and island inhabitants. Works best during the first half when the mystery builds during a raging storm. Once the sun rises, however, plausibility hits a sharp decline.
Dead & Buried
– (1981) – A rash of murders leads a small town sheriff to the discovery of a twisted secret. Has a moody atmosphere (when not too dark), some inventive violence, and a plot that always holds attention. The outcome borders on silly, but the lead-up is as solid as a horror mystery can get.
From Beyond the Grave
– (1973) – Anthology of four stories that focus on a haunted mirror, a voodoo woman, a shoulder phantom and a mysterious door. Provides some amusement and creepy atmosphere, but loses too many bouts with sluggishness and silliness.
Hell House LLC III: Lake of Fire
– (2019) – A live-action play within a known haunted house goes as badly as many expect. Attempts to add a backstory to the previous entries, but 98% of this has been seen before. Never terrible, and wants to be spooky, but can only remind of the superior original. On the plus side, this has the most fake looking facial scar in movie history.
The Dark Side of Midnight
– (1984) – A killer’s on the loose in a town whose mayor is more concerned with building a university. The victims are the highlight early on, but a steady stream of repetitive banter quickly takes over. Unforgivably long, and has no idea how to build suspense or drama.