– (2009) – A group of teens and a talking dog try to solve a ghostly problem in their high school. Good for a chuckle or two if your child-self is watching, but to the adult-self this is pure misery. The jokes grow old fast, the story is hard to invest in, and the characters barely resemble the cartoon cast or even the actors from the first two live action films.
– (2015) – A group of friends steal a bus, run out of gas, and end up in the terrain of a killer. Another faux ’80s slasher that pretends it’s from the past but forgets to include a single moment that feels like the ’80s. This is just another shot on digital mess with CGI gore and typically trite teens.
– (1985) – A high school student looking to lose his virginity is bitten by a female vampire who won’t leave him alone. Moves incredibly fast and has plenty of outlandish moments, but the humor is rather stale and the plot too flimsy to worry about. Shows signs of Jim Carrey’s bright future, but here he’s as underplayed as all the other characters.
– (2016) – Two BFF clerks take on mini-Nazi bratwursts that eventually control a goalie golem. The leads are vibrant enough to carry the watch, but the plot around them gets a bit too awkward. The humor works on occasion, though the horror inclusions are too purposefully twisted to have any sort of cinematic impact.
– (2014) – A comrade visits the family of a deceased solider over matters of consolation, but such matters gradually go awry. Slowly builds itself into an odd-yet-absorbing story of a stranger who does as he pleases, but goes a little too bananas toward the end. Full of surprises, as well as implausibility, and always provides segments of intrigue. The synth score is especially top notch.
– (1998) – A teenage girl has premonitions of an angry witch while an active serial killer stalks her new town. Could easily have become convoluted, but events are paced so there’s never confusion. The plot isn’t always razor sharp, but provides a pretty good mystery and some enjoyable character dynamics.
– (2007) – Someone’s picking off high school students thanks to the past crimes of their parents. Sometimes feels like a legit slasher when developing characters and plot, but most always shoots itself in the foot with lousy editing and woeful acting. Causes eyes to roll, but is never a trial to outlast.
– (2005) – A derelict school teacher is made to look after detention students who must fight for their lives against him. Exploits modern school killings with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and equals one weird/uncomfortable experience. Tries to turn The Breakfast Club into a current teenage horror tale, but milks too much unwarranted sympathy.