Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

★½☆☆ – (2018) – A few dinosaurs are rescued from a volcanic realm while a newly constructed breed makes trouble in a facility. Peaks 30-minutes in after an exciting lava chase, but the rest is a contest in which means less: the stale plot or the stale characters. Has some dark moments, but when the only sympathy is geared toward CGI monsters, something is seriously wrong.

Jaws of Satan

Jaws of Satan

★½☆☆ – (1981) – Killer snakes make trouble for a town that’s preparing to open a canine race track. Apparently, Satan has manifested himself into one snake that can control others, which never comes across as believable or frightening. More than a little slow, and does nothing not unseen in other serpent movies or Jaws rip-offs.

Venom (2011)

Venom (2011)

★½☆☆ – (2011) – After accidentally killing a queen snake in heat, a mother and daughter are stalked throughout a desert by angry serpents. As dumb as the premise sounds, the subplot involving lost money fares even worse. Never creates a single moment of wit or tension.