Revenge of the Stepford Wives

★★☆☆ – (1980) – A reporter intends to write a story on a town of male dominated women, to the dismay of men. Slowly unravels a mystery already covered in the original, but some of what happens is tacky enough to make for a simple watch. Moves fast, has some colorful characters, and ends well.

The Horror at 37,000 Feet

★★½☆ – (1973) – Plane passengers contend with religious cargo aboard their flight that freezes objects, oozes muck, and implants voices. Never comes close to realistic, which is fine since the deplorable shenanigans make for a truly absurd time. Has wondrous moments of ineptitude while dealing with one of the most shrill female performances in all of film.

Suspiria (2018)

★★½☆ – (2018) – A dance school student unwittingly participates for an academy run by witches. Follows the basic premise of the original, but the events are completely different and somehow even freakier. Characters aren’t a strong point, and drama is lacking, but this succeeds admirably in creating what’s never been seen before, and manages to uncomfortably spill some blood along the way.

Bird Box

★☆☆☆ – (2018) – A group of strangers try to outlast an apparition that causes suicide when seen. The premise is neat, but the execution is filled with stale dialog, ordinary characters, and some astonishingly corny advancements. The structure gives away who survives, which only ruins any chance this had at building suspense.

Blood Feast (2016)

★★☆☆ – (2016) – A man who falls under the spell of an Egyptian goddess murders people for a dinner in her honor. Has a good cast and provides some gory exploits, but the pace is so slow that this gradually becomes a stale meal. Much of the drama takes itself too seriously, which doesn’t make sense considering the goofy idea.

Truth or Dare

★☆☆☆ – (2018) – A group of college friends play a harmless game that ultimately leads to demonic mischief.¬† A silly and bland blend of It Follows and Final Destination that never amounts to much in drama, characters, or horror.¬† The smirking gets old fast and, like the rest of the movie, can’t go away soon enough.

Elves (2018)

★☆☆☆ – (2018) – People added to a naughty list are picked off by those possessed by a toy elf. Begins with a scene featuring the worst child actors ever put to film, and somehow gets worse from there. An incoherent mess with unfocused advancements, pitiful murders, and irritating smirks that rip off Truth or Dare.¬†Absolutely miserable.