– (2013) – A group of strippers happen upon the realm of a murderous family. A Texas Chainsaw Massacre spoof that attempts humor at every turn but rarely does anything worth laughing with. Consists mainly of lame jokes and far too much genital mutilation.
331 total views
– (2008) – Vacationing friends contend with a legendary killer who once had his genitals removed. A so-called comedy that only amuses when ripping off lines from the Friday the 13th series. Strives to entertain, but mainly fails because nothing spoofed nor taken seriously feels original.
963 total views
– (2018) – A couple celebrating their first wedding anniversary come to blows when one proves she’s a lunatic. Never does anything ground breaking or unusual, but is instead a tale with a few turns that don’t mean much against empty characters. Well made, but the script could have used some fleshing out.
138 total views
– (2017) – Siblings who share an estate must follow certain rules to save their own life while not putting the other at risk. Has solid atmosphere and a plot worth following, but too often drags its feet which hurts in the areas of suspense. The whispering characters are nothing to brag about, either.
385 total views
– (2017) – A woman who recently lost her mother copes by smoking marijuana that alters her perceptions. Aims for a trippy vibe, but fails in that regard since nothing unusual or ordinary holds any weight. Moves too slow, has hardly any dialog, and means nothing.
177 total views
– (2020) – A banished girl and her brother happen upon an evil woman who tries teaching them the ways of the witch. Despite some great scenery, there’s not much else to please the senses as this is one of the slowest films in recent memory. Never builds dread because nothing is original, and never builds characters since everything they whisper is ordinary.
185 total views
– (2018) – A superficial couple decides to visit cursed land on Long Island. An absolute waste of every physical resource utilized to create something that serves no purpose whatsoever. There’s a good chance this features the worst dialog in film history, along with the worst screen duo of all time. Elicits rage in its ineptitude, but sometimes causes eyes to roll and serves as one of the ultimate guides in how not to make a movie.
215 total views
– (2020) – A group of girls are stranded in woods where a masked killer and his mother kill or abduct them. Never very good, but it’s light years better than others in this cruddy series by at least attempting stupidity at every turn. Cheap even by dirt standards, but does entertain from time to time.
386 total views
– (2020) – Twelve people are hunted for sport, and those not immediately picked off are left to figure out why. Gets off to a rip-roaring, unpredictable start packed with plenty of gory mayhem. Slows considerably after the first half hour, but still maintains intrigue thanks to a bonkers plot and an even more bonkers lead actress. Says enough about politics to “trigger” the easily offended.
207 total views
– (2019) – A meteor crashes onto the property of an isolated family, and brings with it troubles of the colorful kind. Begins by building credibility in the few characters before tossing them into some truly dire situations. Not entirely deep from an emotional perspective, but gets by on unpredictability and dark surrealism.
322 total views