Bloodbeat

★★☆☆ – (1983) – Christmastime is disrupted when a samurai ghost is summoned and lays waste to a backwoods family. There’s not much of a story here, and the pace is incredibly slow. Gets by on a decent body count, a decent female body, and a high abundance of cheesy 80’s effects.

44 total views, 3 views today

Don’t Look

★½☆☆ – (2018) – A group of friends vacate to a wooded area where a killer in a cheap disguise picks them off. Approximately the one billionth slasher with lackluster murders, rancid acting, and few redeeming qualities. If something positive must be said, there are some okay camera angles. Otherwise, the title says it all.

40 total views, 1 views today

Halloween Horror Tales

★½☆☆ – (2018) – Anthology of four stories that focus on a killer clown, a targeted scream queen, murderous vegetation, and a small town vampire. None of the stories feature anything close to innovative, let alone anything that takes place on Halloween. A dirt cheap outing with atrocious storytelling and worse acting.

19 total views, 1 views today

The Bride (2013)

★☆☆☆ – (2013) – A hopeful bride is resurrected to avenge herself against the hillbillies who killed her and her cheesy boyfriend. About as bad as a movie can get since every movement is unnaturally forced, from the godawful love story to the even worse crime story. A joyless pile of ineptitude that only manages to amuse during moments of blatant stupidity.

9 total views, no views today

Girls with Balls

★☆☆☆ – (2018) – A female volleyball team becomes hunted by masked hicks in a wooded terrain. A horror/comedy that fails miserably in both categories because nothing’s funny nor remotely suspenseful. Aims for zany camp, but is too blisteringly stupid to come up with a single moment worth retaining.

21 total views, 1 views today

Critters Attack!

★½☆☆ – (2019) – Small creatures invade a small town and terrorize small minded townspeople. Barely attempts building character arcs, as nothing about any of them is remotely unique. Exploits feminism by use of a female alien savior and an outcast lead, but any social point is lost in what is ultimately mundane and unoriginal.

14 total views, 1 views today

He’s Out There

★★☆☆ – (2018) – A mother takes her two daughters to a house in the woods where they’re terrorized by a masked madman. While much of this is competently filmed, and the acting is up to snuff, the script could have used a major upgrade before filming began. Never explaining a killer’s direct motive is fine if you want to leave people guessing, but not at the expense of leaving them bored.

16 total views, no views today

All Light Will End

★½☆☆ – (2018) – A young author and her dimwitted friends return to her childhood home where they’re plagued by a mysterious killer. Does everything seen a million times before, and when trying something unique collapses under the weight of sluggishness. Nothing here means anything because no character amounts to anything.

16 total views, no views today

They’re Watching

★★½☆ – (2016) – A home improvement show travels to Europe to film a rustic house, but find trouble of the witch variety. Manages to put forward some fun character scenarios, though those characters are hardly profound. Skirts by with a few slow spots, but the finale is so manically bonkers the wait is more than worthwhile. Cheap in production, but high in ambition.

13 total views, 1 views today

Moonstalker

★★½☆ – (1983) – A serial killer is lurking in a wooded terrain where plenty of unsuspecting yokels make for his victims. Never rises above goofy, which is fine since that seems to be the intention. Forgotten for such reasons, and because the killer has a lame identity, but all told this isn’t too bad and the near-conclusion features a fabulously ridiculous moment.

20 total views, 1 views today