Woodshock

★★☆☆ – (2017) – A woman who recently lost her mother copes by smoking marijuana that alters her perceptions. Aims for a trippy vibe, but fails in that regard since nothing unusual or ordinary holds any weight. Moves too slow, has hardly any dialog, and means nothing.

 60 total views,  2 views today

Gretel & Hansel

★½☆☆ – (2020) – A banished girl and her brother happen upon an evil woman who tries teaching them the ways of the witch. Despite some great scenery, there’s not much else to please the senses as this is one of the slowest films in recent memory. Never builds dread because nothing is original, and never builds characters since everything they whisper is ordinary.

 72 total views,  1 views today

Amityville: Mt. Misery Rd.

½☆☆☆ – (2018) – A superficial couple decides to visit cursed land on Long Island. An absolute waste of every physical resource utilized to create something that serves no purpose whatsoever. There’s a good chance this features the worst dialog in film history, along with the worst screen duo of all time. Elicits rage in its ineptitude, but sometimes causes eyes to roll and serves as one of the ultimate guides in how not to make a movie.

 106 total views

Camp Blood 8: Revelations

★★☆☆ – (2020) – A group of girls are stranded in woods where a masked killer and his mother kill or abduct them. Never very good, but it’s light years better than others in this cruddy series by at least attempting stupidity at every turn. Cheap even by dirt standards, but does entertain from time to time.

 174 total views,  1 views today

The Hunt

★★★☆ – (2020) – Twelve people are hunted for sport, and those not immediately picked off are left to figure out why. Gets off to a rip-roaring, unpredictable start packed with plenty of gory mayhem. Slows considerably after the first half hour, but still maintains intrigue thanks to a bonkers plot and an even more bonkers lead actress. Says enough about politics to “trigger” the easily offended.

 125 total views

Color Out of Space

★★★☆ – (2019) – A meteor crashes onto the property of an isolated family, and brings with it troubles of the colorful kind. Begins by building credibility in the few characters before tossing them into some truly dire situations. Not entirely deep from an emotional perspective, but gets by on unpredictability and dark surrealism.

 244 total views,  2 views today

Dr. Sleepless

½☆☆☆ – (2020) – A group of students and their adulterous professor go camping at a site where an author went missing. An absolute travesty of film making from shoddy script to slapdash editing. Nothing makes any sense, and for some reason “The Raven” is narrated throughout. An ugly, erratic, and tedious waste of time.

 403 total views

The Night of the Wererooster

★½☆☆ – (2015) – A small group of men and women form a search party in the woods, only to end up the prey of a legendary monster. A lagging bore with few locations, a nonsensical story, and stereotypical characters. There’s enough gore to call this horror, but the monster is surprisingly never seen outside feathers and close-ups of an eye and a foot. Makes less sense as it goes.

 200 total views,  1 views today

Don’t Look

★½☆☆ – (2018) – A group of friends vacate to a wooded area where a killer in a cheap disguise picks them off. Approximately the one billionth slasher with lackluster murders, rancid acting, and few redeeming qualities. If something positive must be said, there are some okay camera angles. Otherwise, the title says it all.

 205 total views