Gretel & Hansel

★½☆☆ – (2020) – A banished girl and her brother happen upon an evil woman who tries teaching them the ways of the witch. Despite some great scenery, there’s not much else to please the senses as this is one of the slowest films in recent memory. Never builds dread because nothing is original, and never builds characters since everything they whisper is ordinary.

 77 total views

Porno

★½☆☆ – (2019) – Religious movie theater employees find a basement, discover a film, play said film, and become hunted by a force from that film. A mediocre story bogged down by unlikable characters and brain dead logic. They don’t escape because breaking a glass door is wrong? Several such factors contribute to a lousy time, though unoriginal ambition does arrive in the final act.

 114 total views

The Love Witch

★★☆☆ – (2016) – A woman who casts spells of affection on men is prone to take matters to deadly lengths. Has a distinct look that gives off a vintage vibe, but the story becomes stale in a hurry. Enough happens to help keep eyes open (sometimes wide open) but the plot crawls to a drab finish.

 170 total views,  1 views today

They’re Watching

★★½☆ – (2016) – A home improvement show travels to Europe to film a rustic house, but find trouble of the witch variety. Manages to put forward some fun character scenarios, though those characters are hardly profound. Skirts by with a few slow spots, but the finale is so manically bonkers the wait is more than worthwhile. Cheap in production, but high in ambition.

 140 total views

Alison’s Birthday

★★½☆ – (1981) – A young woman returns to her family’s estate for her 19th birthday party, and is met with strange activities from an ancestral coven. Moves slow and goes through common motions, but does hold attention throughout. The end result is fantastic, however, as this features one of the creepiest conclusions in all of horror.

 243 total views,  1 views today

Suspiria (2018)

★★½☆ – (2018) – A dance school student participates for an academy run by witches. Follows the basic premise of the original, but the events are completely different and somehow even freakier. Characters aren’t a strong point, but this succeeds admirably in creating unique scenarios while uncomfortably spilling some blood and puke along the way.

 855 total views