Easter Bunny Massacre
– (2021) – A group of friends who can’t remember how one of their own died are later picked off by someone in a rabbit costume. Has a ho-hum plot that’s been seen countless times before, where a death pact only leads to a higher body count. Nothing stands out from a horror or drama perspective, though the reason for everything happening is laughably absurd.
Amityville Ripper
– (2023) – A knife from the Amityville house lures Jack the Ripper to a rural party. The only saving grace to this fiasco is that everyone on and off screen is in on the joke that they’re making a bad movie. While this comedic attempt doesn’t entirely work, breaking the fourth wall is about as creative as these cruddy movies can get.
Mind Twister
– (1993) – Two women attempt to solve the mystery of a murderous psychiatrist. Doesn’t have a lot of bloodshed to hold attention, but the plethora of sleaze makes up for as much. This is certainly easy on the eyes, but the dialog is quite painful to the ears. Won’t win points for intelligence, but is somewhat pleasing nonetheless.
Don’t Look in the Basement 2
– (2015) – Doctors at an infamous mental facility deal with patients and their visions of a dark past. On the positive side, the is relatively well-made and the acting isn’t terrible. As for the rest? This is a blood and suspense free slog of one dragging scene after another. What it lacks in horror it makes up for with characters endlessly yelling at one another.
Things II
– (1998) – An author tells an aspiring writer two stories about a creature involved in a robbery and a creature involved in the disappearance of a model. A zero budget outing that will never win points for drama, but some of the acting is above average while the scant plots move quickly. Could have used more gore, but that would only have added to an already bleak budget.
your a-z guide to obscure & classic horror movies
– (1983) – A female rock band falls prey to a legendary madman after their tour bus breaks down near his domain. Consist of little more than wandering characters who banter with one another before separating from the group and getting picked off. Despite the title, there’s hardly any blood, although your eyes may bleed from boredom.
– (2017) – A married couple moves into a house with a demonic secret, and quickly fall victim to its quirky designs. Gets off to a hilarious start, which sets the stage for the kooky shenanigans that follow. Won’t win over anyone who wants logic with their characters, but they do provide an awful lot of fun.
– (2006) – A young man who discovers Death’s notebook is able to manipulate the demise of criminals, and ultimately those who pursue him. Starts off with a fantastic idea that gradually and cleverly turns the hero into the enemy. Full of twists and humor that command attention throughout the long length.
Wrong Turn (2021)
– (2021) – A group of friends go off trail while hiking and discover an underground cult. Gets off to a perfectly awful start where insufferable characters constantly scream and curse at will. A twist eventually surfaces within the villains, but this still serves no greater purpose than killing people for rather dumb reasons. Improves as it goes, but drags its feet for so long the ultimate turns become easy to predict.
Night Creature
– (1978) – A man who’s isolated on an island to hunt a black cat gets an unexpected visit from his family. Annoying characters and an overblown metaphor ruin what the pace couldn’t kill. Dreadfully dull.
Pet Sematary Two
– (1992) – The father and son of a dead actress relocate near a cemetery that causes the dead to rise. A hypnotically dull pace is bogged down even further by some impossibly lifeless acting. The lone highlight — which still stinks — is Clancy Brown as a zombie who’s too reminiscent of the lead in C.H.U.D. II.
The Skeleton Key (2005)
– (2005) – A woman is hired to care for an elderly man in a house of hoodoo secrets. Some parts of the mystery are intriguing, and the conclusion is bizarre, but the overall pace makes every second feel like an hour. Best when dealing with atmosphere, since the character stories leave much to be desired.
Slasher House
– (2012) – A woman awakens in a guard-free prison where serial killers compete to kill her. The concept isn’t bad, but everything that brings it to life is staggeringly self-absorbed. Riddled with pretentiousness from the dialog straight through to the overmuch mannerisms of the actors. Putrid.
Buttcrack
– (1998) – An irritating roommate is accidentally killed, and returns to continue ruining human lives. Moderately funny when dealing with the namesake’s annoyances, but that’s pretty much all this offers. The comedy wears thin, the horror is lousy, and anything resembling a point is non-existent.