He Sees You When You’re Sleeping
– (2024) – A kid who once saw Santa butcher his family is later tricked by his relatives to garner his inheritance, but nothing goes according to their plans. This looks professional, and the drama isn’t the worst, but only one character isn’t an unbearable louse, and she’s just a supporting role. Also suffers from tonal shifts, as the family plights and the slasher plot don’t perfectly gel. Means well, but misfires.
Krampus: The Return
– (2022) – A young woman who recently lost her brother to alleged suicide travels with her friends to the terrain of a monstrous killer. Moves slower than a loaded dump truck sliding uphill, but somewhere along the line we’re met with some decent acting, good-enough drama, and a nifty creature design. The murders aren’t very rewarding, and the conclusion isn’t very fulfilling, but there’s much worse in the Christmas/horror subgenre. (A.K.A. Return of Krampus.)
Santastein
– (2023) – Santa, who’s accidentally killed by a child on Christmas, is resurrected with an affinity to kill. A tongue-in-cheek slasher that focuses more on comedy than terror, but as such results in a goofy good time. The pace is brisk, the characters are distinctive, and the preposterous plot never overstays it welcome.
Down the Chimney with a Shotgun
– (2022) – Anthology of five stories that focus on a vengeful scarecrow, noise insanity, a psychic doll, a baking witch, and a wraparound involving Krampus. There’s really no point or ironic lesson to any of these stories, as they simply present ideas that are easy to shoot with a small cast. Short, but somehow unbelievably long.
Hell on the Shelf
– (2021) – A paranormal team investigates the spirit of a dead boy who moves a doll around. Repeats the same patterns so often most every scene becomes predictable: ghost is asked a question, ghost replies with one word, humans reiterate that word. Even when the repetition ends there’s not much here to praise, aside from an okay third act twist.
your a-z guide to obscure & classic horror movies
– (1976) – A troubled child is blamed for murdering her sister during her first Holy Communion. The church setting offers a unique diametric to the violent ongoings, especially when the identity of the killer is revealed. Overdramatic at times, but fueled by solid characters and a tight mystery.
– (2012) – A group of teenage boys deal with the hardships of life and an underground killer. Could have been an enjoyable adventure, but the plot is too heavy handed to take seriously. Alcoholism, spousal abuse, child abuse, incest, suicide, and infanticide turn a simple idea into an overblown and joyless drag.
– (2007) – Train passengers are stalked by an underground religious cult on the night of their ultimate sacrifice. The plot, drama, and acting rank low, but the setting is dank and the sporadic violence is pretty nifty. Struggles to come up with any sort of social message.
Creature (2011)
– (2011) – Vacationing friends find the man/alligator they’re searching for… with unfortunate results. The swamp atmosphere isn’t too bad, but the story and characters are painfully redundant. Moves too slow to provide any fun.
Uninvited (1988)
– (1988) – A genetically mutated cat boards a yacht where Spring Breakers anticipate a scenic vacation. A bad idea that pits a silly situation against empty characters. Might have been better if it didn’t take itself so seriously, but it’s cheap enough to withstand.
Campfire Tales (1991)
– (1991) – A local bum tells three kids the stories of a hook killer, bad reefer, a naughty Santa and greedy pirates vs. the living dead. Cheap and ugly, but surprisingly effective in many areas. The last story drags, but the others deliver some goods.
The Plague of the Zombies
– (1966) – A doctor investigates voodoo related incidents that cause the dead to rise. Steadily builds an involving mystery through minimal horror and witty dialog. Hard to judge since the genre took the zombie notion to more exciting heights, but even for the atmosphere alone this is commendable.
Big Top Evil
– (2019) – A group of friends on their way to a murder site encounter a clan of killer circus folk. Yet another run of the mill cheapie that can boast about the appearance of a horror icon (Bill Moseley) while offering little else. The acting and gore are cheap as can be, while all else is rather mundane.
Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy
– (1990) – Lingerie clad nurses, servants of Nazi bosses, entice and kill men. Seems as though an indecipherable piece of garbage was toyed with in the voice over department to make sense of nothing. A punishment that lacks a single commendable moment.