Underworld: Blood Wars

★½☆☆ – (2016) – A vampire in a shiny leather coat aims to stop her kind from fighting werewolves in shiny leather coats. Yet another preposterous, pompous, and pretentious entry in a never-ending series that continues to take itself too seriously despite a severe lack of originality. Bloated CGI mumbo jumbo for an audience that couldn’t possible be asking for more entries.

Once Bitten

★★☆☆ – (1985) – A high school student looking to lose his virginity is bitten by a female vampire who won’t leave him alone. Moves incredibly fast and has plenty of outlandish moments, but the humor is rather stale and the plot too flimsy to worry about. Shows signs of Jim Carrey’s bright future, but here he’s as underplayed as all the other characters.

Stake Land II

★★☆☆ – (2016) – Survivors of a vampire outbreak contend with their enemy’s new leader. Borrows heavily from familiar horror tropes, yet does establish some of its own merit. Incredibly slow and common, although there’s not much to root for.

Rockula

Rockula

★½☆☆ – (1990) – A vampire with close relations to his own reflection woos a girl he lost decades ago. A horror/comedy with musical inclusions that’s packed with unfunny jokes and stale original songs. Highly ambitious, but too often fails to entertain.

Queen of Blood

Queen of Blood

★½☆☆ – (1966) – A space crew bound for Mars picks up a green woman who has an appetite for plasma. A dorky experience that explains too much through assumed dialog and not nearly enough through direct action. The female-alien-breeding-eggs motif is a prelude to Alien films, but this dud certainly didn’t influence their excitement.

Dark Town

Dark Town

★★☆☆ – (2004) – Vampires spread throughout a town of human enemies and complicate already touchy relationships. The first hour has plenty of violent and sleazy progressions amid decent characters, but the final third succumbs to familiar vampire nonsense. Spirals into complete boredom right down to the improbable final shot.