Beetlejuice Beetlejuice
– (2024) – A mother and daughter who can see ghosts summon an infamous bio-exorcist to help them out of their newfound troubles. Looks great and has a highly imaginative spirit while tackling a plot that doesn’t duplicate the original. Becomes a bit too convoluted toward the end, and nothing is profoundly funny, but it’s always easy to watch and just as easy to digest.
The Last Thanksgiving
– (2020) – A group of cannibals terrorize those who don’t appreciate Thanksgiving. Pretty rotten right out of the gate, as this immediately focuses on characters you wouldn’t want to spend any time with, let alone a holiday. Kills are few and the atmosphere is too airy, rendering this a lame drama with corny horror inclusions.
Moon of the Wolf
– (1972) – Someone or something killed a pregnant woman in a small town, and locals are eager to find the culprit. Though there’s barely any horror, and the wolf is rather paltry when it does arrive, the character camaraderie, however typical, is easy to enjoy. Doesn’t run long, so this never bores, but the drama does begin to stale by the end.
Alice in Terrorland
– (2023) – A young woman is told stories from Alice in Wonderland that she repeatedly dreams about. There isn’t a single moment in this that warrants its own existence. It’s basically two similar scenes shown in a repetitive loop that never form a single plot point. It’s graciously short, but still feels endless thanks to an impossibly languid pace.
Terrifier 3
– (2024) – Art the Clown is out and about killing people at Christmastime. That’s pretty much it. There’s something of a story involving the previous film’s survivor living with an overly cutesy family, but they only serve to bore us until the kills arrive. Granted, the gore F/X are nifty, but by now have become repetitive, even though they account for maybe 20% of the elongated length. Brutal at times, but tries patience.
your a-z guide to obscure & classic horror movies
– (1998) – Documentary that explores exploited actresses in a male driven film society. Showcases strong opinions from each end of the spectrum, and tends to aggravate as such since some viewpoints are extreme (but sometimes heartfelt). The production is worse than the low budget films in question, but does offer insight into the B-movie making process and strips away any and all glamour.
– (2019) – Dan Torrance, now grown up, must protect a young girl who also shines from a band of shine eaters. Incredibly long, but wholly absorbing throughout thanks to some truly disturbing character traits and events. The third act loses some momentum, but revisiting the Overlook and its haunts more than make up for any faults.
– (2015) – A group of people go head to head to head against a tri-noggin shark. Has all the makings of a bad-on-purpose movie, but is too drop dead dull to elicit any fun. Has amusing spots, but pretty much stinks overall.
The American Scream
– (1988) – A vacationing family crosses paths with a killer, but never seem bothered enough to leave their vacation. An uneven mess with terror that isn’t scary and humor that isn’t funny. Certainly quirky, but nothing that occurs is worth retaining.
Killer Crocodile 2
– (1990) – A crocodile hatched from a radioactive egg spells trouble for many jungle inhabitants. Has all the signs of a lame sequel, from flashbacks to duplicated footage, but manages to provide some grisly fun throughout. The music still rips off Jaws, and nothing rises above stupid, but diversions are provided among the doldrums.
Black Demons
– (1991) – Some guy records a voodoo ritual that awakens six zombie slaves. The horror can’t compensate for the rotten dialog and acting, since there are only two decent kills throughout. A boring failure that ruins what could have been an intriguing venture.
Zombie Cop
– (1991) – A dead cop takes on the voodoo priest who cursed him back to life. Too many scenes drag, and the dirt-cheap production gets in the way of ambition, but there are some good ideas on display and a mostly-fun tone. By far one of the better shot-on-video films of the era, but still suffers from too many imperfections.
Killjoy 2
– (2002) – Troubled youths and their counselors are stalked in woods by a legendary clown. Mixes some okay horror ideas with too many dramatic cliches. Does little to not humiliate itself, but manages to amuse from time to time.
Sucker
– (1998) – A vampire with AIDS deals with monster hunters and his necrophiliac assistant. Pretty useless in all, but has some humorous moments and ideas. Horror aspects are cheap, though some of the nudity is noteworthy.