– (2019) – The dead are on the rise in a sleepy town, prompting its citizens to embellish their decapitation skills. Sets up a doomsday scenario that offers promise, but the outcome is crippled by a complete lack of originality. Too slow, too familiar, and worst of all, too unfunny. While you’re not laughing, good luck finding any character worth caring about.
– (2018) Frat bros host a luau that’s interrupted by an evil spirit lurking in their house. Nothing new occurs, the camera style is unnecessarily distracting, and the characters are all worthy of choking out. However, there is an ambitious strive to entertain throughout, which does come through in the quick pace and the comedic horror scenarios.
– (1980) – A butt ugly podiatrist takes a serum that turns him into a handsome killer. On one end everything that transpires is kind of pathetic, but on the other end the jokes are taken to unseen degrees of absurdity. Zaniness is one thing, but that the film means so little in a dramatic sense explains its obscurity.
– (1996) – A man having a relationship issue befriends a psycho who tries too hard to fit into his life. The protagonist’s dilemmas are too typical, while the antagonist adds nothing but corny excuses as to why TV might make someone nuts. Forces a social point in the end, but like all else before it, nothing is ever funny or convincing.
– (1994) – A young man who’s mauled by a lion has his brain implanted into a mechanical dinosaur. As preposterous as the plot sounds, this actually sort of works because it knows exactly how stupid it is. Moves fast and blends eye-rolling comedy with some genuinely humorous moments. Sounds like a children’s movie, but is far more risque.
– (2018) – A zombie outbreak forces high school students to face the trials and tribulations of a vicious world. Begins as an ambitious musical with a few catchy tunes, but gradually forgets to include songs and focuses too much on common zombie tropes and a useless human villain subplot. Hits a few high notes, but ends flat despite emotional strives.
– (2018) – Three scantily clad chicks and Santa Claus battle Krampus on Christmas Eve. While this is zany and fast moving enough to warrant a decent time, it’s not nearly funny as it wants to be. Piles on a ton of jokes and plot scenarios, but by the end is merely a serviceable comedy with unmet aspirations.
– (2017) – Old people quest to save young people from the ghostly terrors of a Halloween party. The characters are deplorable, and the plot is flimsy beyond belief, but unlike the previous entry this one actually has Halloween atmosphere. Ambitious and fast paced in the last half, but it’s never funny, never original, and never believable.
– (2016) – A pain in the ass “woman” who intends to shut down a frat party is haunted by “her” foes. Has virtually nothing to do with Halloween, and far more to do with family values. Sort of has a plot at first, but resorts to one preachy rant after another and provides nothing but ancient lessons.
– (2018) – Those who intend to end shark storms travel through time in order to save humankind. Despite the busy structure and occasional brushes with humor, the sense that this has all been seen before is overwhelming. Nothing occurs that didn’t already transpire in previous entries of this mostly awful series.