– (2015) – College friends move into a house that’s haunted by Lizzie Borden. Though nothing commendable occurs on any cinematic level, the overall wretchedness makes for a pretty fun time. Moves quickly through its powerful stupidity, and creates quite a few unintentional laughs.
– (2011) – A werewolf terrorizes a small village, interrupting an already lackluster love triangle. While the cast and sets are commendable, the plot and character growth is deplorable. Not too hard to get through, but lacks two major components: excitement and romance. Basically Twilight meets Ginger Snaps Back meets a test pattern.
– (2016) – A demon hunter and an FBI agent try to stop an evil force that hops into whomever kills its host. While Dolph Lundgren makes for a credible lead, and the concept is commendable, the overall output is only mildly engaging thanks largely to woefully overused CGI gore. The seriousness and camp don’t always blend well, either.
– (2017) – Two FBI agents try to escape from a prison where unleashed inmates attempt their own break out. Appears promising due to the slew of cult icons involved, but the film itself is an unsightly mess. No character is distinctive, no plot point fuses with another, and no scene of action is clear enough to tell what’s going on. Proof positive that if you don’t have a script, you don’t have a movie.
– (2019) – A small family is stalked by a ghost who has intentions of claiming the children. Though some of the back story is okay, most every fright is either timeworn or predictable. Features far more horror mumbo-jumbo than anything worth retaining, but is never entirely difficult to get through.
– (2005) – A journalist and a reporter head to Romania to investigate a cult that can summon deadly storms. Reaches absurd levels of stupidity five minutes in and rarely disappoints in the realm of idiocy thereafter. A bit too slow to hold in higher bad movie regard, but a lot of what occurs between dialog, acting, F/X, and plot points is truly absurd.
– (1973) – Plane passengers contend with religious cargo aboard their flight that freezes objects, oozes muck, and implants voices. Never comes close to realistic, which is fine since the deplorable shenanigans make for a truly absurd time. Has wondrous moments of ineptitude while dealing with one of the most shrill female performances in all of film.
– (2001) – A rock and roll imposter intends to crash a plane into a church, unless the real rock and roller can stop him. Moves fast and provides quite a few corny moments that all lead to a goofy good time. You haven’t really lived until you’ve seen a man in goth makeup struggle to land a plane.
– (2015) – Anthology of intertwining stories that all have to do with the darkest sides of the ungodly. Has the same structure as Trick ‘r Treat, and though it’s not as tightly wound, this one has plenty of frights and shocks to call its own. There’s virtually no emotional connection to any single character, but what they’re put through is often grueling to watch. Not for the faint of heart.
– (2018) – A priest and a prospective nun investigate a suicide at a convent and slowly unravel a dark secret. Despite showcasing stark atmosphere and ghoulish imagery, there’s not much happening here storywise. This is by-the-numbers religious hodgepodge with an underused and unscary villain. Another Conjuring spinoff letdown.