The Addams Family (2019)

★★☆☆ – (2019) – A dark family faces opposition from a vibrant town as their family reunion draws near. Forces the point of having a distinct personality, which is nothing new to the film series. The plot is too scattered and the jokes too sporadic, but the pace is quick and the tone is zany. Uncle Fester, meanwhile, is annoying enough to nearly ruin the watch.

 104 total views,  1 views today

Things (1989)

★☆☆☆ – (1989) – Two friends encounter summoned creatures in a small house. Has moments that feel like a direct rip-off of The Evil Dead, but this can’t even plagiarize correctly. All that’s here are a bunch of scenes shot on the cheap, presumably without a script, for the sole purpose of making a “movie.” All parties involved should bow their heads in shame for barely trying.

 151 total views

Toxic Tutu

½☆☆☆ – (2017) – “Legendary” actor Mark Torgl comes out of seclusion only to run into radioactive troubles that stem from The Toxic Avenger. Destroys the credibility of a cult classic with a pitiful story that’s so haphazardly edited it’s almost impossible to tell what’s happening. I doubt even the most seasoned Troma fan will be able to withstand this virtually unwatchable mess.

 221 total views

Don’t Speak

★☆☆☆ – (2020) – A small family is stalked by a monster that hunts on sound. One of the lamest movies committed to film since there’s no credibility in the characters or monster. This is dull, ugly, unoriginal, and not even remotely suspenseful. Wants to be A Quiet Place (with Alien inclusions) but is far too inept.

 299 total views,  2 views today

Color Out of Space

★★★☆ – (2019) – A meteor crashes onto the property of an isolated family, and brings with it troubles of the colorful kind. Begins by building credibility in the few characters before tossing them into some truly dire situations. Not entirely deep from an emotional perspective, but gets by on unpredictability and dark surrealism.

 322 total views,  1 views today

Terror Toons 2

★½☆☆ – (2007) – Monstrous puppets of Hansel & Gretel invade a young girl’s birthday party. The persistent aim for cartoon camp only reaches levels of over-the-top irritation, even before the monsters are unleashed. The F/X are terrible, the plot is flimsy, and the strive for comedy never succeeds. Follows the basic pattern of the original, which is not a good thing.

 273 total views