– (1973) – The missing link runs amok while terrorizing people, going to the movies, and playing a piano. It’s clear from the first second that this never intended to be anything but a cheesy comedy, but the problem is that it’s never funny. Easy to get through thanks to a short length, but still tries patience early on.
– (2018) – A few dinosaurs are rescued from a volcanic realm while a newly constructed breed makes trouble in a facility. Peaks 30-minutes in after an exciting lava chase, but the rest is a contest in which means less: the stale plot or the stale characters. Has some dark moments, but when the only sympathy is geared toward CGI monsters, something is seriously wrong.
– (2018) – A small family continues to outlast creatures that attack anything that makes noise. Somehow won the world over, most likely those in for some decent scares and those who’ve never seen Tremors. While there are inventive moments, there are some illogical ones as well, along with predictability and the sad fact that we have no idea who these people are.
– (2016) – Two couples share a bed that has the power to kill them once they hop out. The entire set-up lacks conviction, as the characters are up to something most believe is a bad idea. Some horror moments are okay, but the logic is woefully inept while the pace is disastrously slow. A movie about a bed shouldn’t make you want to fall asleep, but here we are.
– (2017) – A couple of lycanthropes uncover an alien plot of impregnating humans through beer. Has a lot going on and moves fast (a little too fast at times) yet somehow bores because none of the zaniness amounts to anything. Tries hard to please, but one probably has to be stoned to find full enjoyment.
– (2017) – People who fled Earth to avoid Godzilla return to destroy him. The action scenes have something of a pulse, but the rest is sheer boredom at its most mundane. The script is particularly awful, as every single line of dialog sounds written by a three-year-old who watches too many cartoons.