– (1991) – A sorceress abducts the winners of a sword fighting tournament and turns them into a stone army. Sounds like a goofy good time, but too much of this focuses of one droll fight after another. As repetitive as a film can get, but has enough corniness and nudity to make the watch an unharmful one.
– (1987) – A warrior and a princess aim to reclaim her kingdom from a clone created by an evil magician. There’s a goofy charm persistent throughout, which is a major saving grace since this is pretty dry even with the campy tone. Swords, sorcery, and zombies and in supply, but the plot sustaining them is a bit too thin.
– (1983) – A warrior quests for magical items and a princess in a realm of monsters and other warriors. Has an abundance of fighting and nudity, but that’s about it. The plot is particularly bland, and when all is said and done most everything is easy to forget. However, this does work well as an 80’s time capsule.
– (1977) – A thawed abominable snowman, who’s generally kind, wreaks havoc when exploited by an oil tycoon. Everything featuring the monster is a blast (except when he sleeps for ten minutes), but everything else is rather dull. The combination leads to a decent time with one whopper of a highlight that involves a falling woman and her timely rescue.
– (1973) – A sheep monster evolves in a town where a racist mayor can’t see eye to eye with a cowboy. While this does feature one of the cruddiest looking monsters in horror history, its appearance is the only sign of life. Too great a portion of this is incredibly dry and disjointed.
– (1962) – A young girl and a skunk intend to save a wolf and an ogre from certain death. Perhaps the most traumatic children’s movie in creation, as dark creepiness, uncomfortable progressions, and nods to Satan aren’t uncommon. An absurd curiosity that’s hard to believe exists, but any joy experienced by such a travesty is ruined by repetition, aggravation, and irritation.
– (1957) – A pilot and government personnel investigate several sightings of a massive, murderous bird. Most of what happens is typical of 50’s monster movies, but what works so well here is how seriously the plot is taken versus how awful the monster looks. Has mystery and action, but is prone to repeat itself.
– (1994) – A young man who’s mauled by a lion has his brain implanted into a mechanical dinosaur. As preposterous as the plot sounds, this actually sort of works because it knows exactly how stupid it is. Moves fast and blends eye-rolling comedy with some genuinely humorous moments. Sounds like a children’s movie, but is far more risque.
– (1985) – Shipwreck survivors happen upon an island where they’re attacked by doll-like creatures. Follows a droll pattern of watching characters wander before they’re assaulted, but a few dumb events and dumber lines of dialog help maintain attention. Repetitive, to say the least, but does amuse in spots of foolishness.
– (2006) – A group of spies aim to steal a formula that can create life, and unwittingly unleash a dinosaur. The narrative aspects are pitiful, as they’re packed with too much macho nonsense. The monster inclusions, however, are so unbelievably ridiculous they’re almost impossible not to giggle through.