– (2005) – Tourists and business investors fall victim to genetically engineered meat eaters. Some character interactions aren’t terrible, but that’s the most this crap offers. Everyone involved drifts from place to place, while others remain stagnant, as scenes of action/horror lie in wait. The F/X are appalling, and rarely in a humorous way.
– (2016) – A young model succumbs to a dreary and surreal lifestyle among the eccentric and erotic. Begins as an actual narrative film about an orphan finding her footing through her good looks, but gradually becomes a self-important mess where reason plays second fiddle to purposeful confusion. Has eye opening spots, but never forms a significant social point.
– (1988) – Castle inhabitants plan to falsely haunt their domain until discovering the place is actually haunted. A sloppily told and noisily concocted story of many characters (most of whom are never fleshed out) dealing with love on earthly and unearthly planes. The atmosphere is strong, but despite many attempts at zany comedy few laughs are had.
– (1931) – The German underworld attempts to catch a child killer so their practices are no longer harassed by police. Spends too much time dragging its feet, but does have a defined plot that continually involves. No characters are distinct, until the murderer is brought into question, which hurts progression throughout. Poses thoughts about mob justice, insanity pleas, and responsibilities that are still relevant today.
– (2012) – A small, South Dakota town is plagued with rampages from a giant beast. Begins by focusing on an ’80s rock revival concert amid environmental concerns, but that aspect ends early and sheer boredom takes over. Basically a construction of a lousy looking monster running from scene to scene without having anyone worthwhile to feast upon. Repetitive, dull, and cheap.
– (1991) – The ghost of a dead man uses his daughter to locate his killer, but has to succeed before his corpse completely rots. The overall story is okay, and the attempts at the surreal aren’t awful, but there’s never a sense of dread or concern for the outcome. Pretty tame for a Fulci movie, but still pulls off some nasty tricks.
– (2016) – Four friends and two tagalongs enter haunted woods in search of a girl who went missing over a decade before. Has a rough beginning that merely duplicates the original’s set-up, and the characters are hardly profound, but once the horror kicks in the tension never lets up. A relentless display of staggering suspense, unpleasant atmosphere, and effective shocks.
– (2012) – A bunch of college geeks deal with zombies by referring to popular movies. There’s hardly any story pertaining to the dead versus the living, aside from a few wide shots of zombie groups. A dirt cheap version of something that could have been made for even cheaper and still accomplish the same nothingness.