– (2016) – Whirlwinds of sharks (and cows) wreak havoc across the country, laying waste to washed up celebrities and those with no future. Gets off to an awesomely bombastic start in Las Vegas, but then settles into the safe corn this series thrives on. Goes to absurd places, and does have some fun vibes.
– (2016) – A clown puppet possessed by a college dean’s soul goes on a killing spree in a sorority house. Pretty awful on the surface, since killer dolls and bitchy sorority girls have been done to death, but the overall corniness does make for an easy watch. Lacks gore and nudity, but does have a quick pace and decent characters.
– (2017) – Five cars race across America and aim for pedestrians as their point achievements. A remake that keeps some of the original’s craziness, but the tongue-in-cheek nature of such oddities is lost to an overall lack of focus. One of cinema’s worst edited movies in existence as scenes and events come and go with little to no cohesion. Also, the F/X are terrible.
– (2016) – Five carnival workers are abducted and forced to participate in a timed game of death. Features the standard Rob Zombie atmosphere and actors, but nothing new comes of either. A blend of House of 1000 Corpses and The Running Man that supplies plenty of violence but no rationale to such areas. Feels slapped together as it’s often hard to tell what’s going on.
– (1990) – A new teacher gets wrapped up in the strange things happening to the strange inhabitants of an all-girl school. Has a few moments of violence and lunacy, but nothing that occurs means jack squat since no character has a meaningful presence. Wastes some decent talent on empty oddities and features zero suspense.
– (1982) – A boy travels to Arizona with his divorced mother to meet her new boyfriend, and happens upon a serial killer. Has a few bizarre horror moments, but they don’t blend well with the typical drama of a kid coping with split-up parents. One moment there’s mother/son schmaltz, the next a brutal murder, which leads to a tone deaf outing.
– (1998) – A paralyzed architect spies on an artist he believes murdered his own wife. A pale comparison to the original film, but has the distinction of featuring a disabled Christopher Reeve, which is both commendable and depressing. The story and its strive for suspense are weak, but the cast does maintain respectability.
– (1954) – A wheelchair bound photographer spies on a suspicious neighbor he believes murdered his own wife. Absorbing from the start thanks to likable characters whose purposes with each other border on dysfunction. The mystery aspect is solid as well and, despite a few corny moments, proves the nature of humanity’s need to peer in on other lives.
– (2016) – A punk band that stumbles upon a murder is trapped in a seedy club and set-up for their own deaths. Takes a little while to get going on, and not all points are razor sharp, but when this hits high notes it knocks them out of the park. Often tense, incredibly violent, and ultimately disturbing.