One Million AC/DC

One Million ACDC

★½☆☆ – (1969) – Cavemen endlessly screw in a land where dinosaurs roam. Has no concerns with characters, plot, or meaning, but does pile on an abundance of smut. Softcore junk that only lasts 64-minutes.

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The Mighty Gorga

Mighty Gorga, The

★★☆☆ – (1969) – An entertainer in need of a main attraction seeks a big ape in a lost land. Okay as a shoddy King Kong rip off, as there’s an overall sense of adventure, but has one of the most abrupt and anticlimactic conclusions of all time. Dull, but the awful F/X are worth a gander.

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Death to the Supermodels

Death to the Supermodels

★★☆☆ – (2005) – Someone’s picking off bitchy models during a beach side photo shoot. Moves fast and attempts humor at every turn, but keeps steering itself into a wall. Obnoxious and corny, but falls just short of irritating thanks to Jaime Pressly’s unending charm. Not enough gore or nudity, sadly.

Posted in Campy, Horror Comedy, Slasher/Serial | Leave a comment

Penny Dreadful

Penny Dreadful

★½☆☆ – (2006) – A girl who’s traumatized by an auto accident ends up trapped in a car while a killer’s on the loose. Loses credibility early on by never establishing an emotional connection to the lead, while most everything she says and does is cliche. Lacks a single moment of fright or compassion.

Posted in Insanity, Slasher/Serial, Woods | Leave a comment

Deliver Us from Evil (2014)

Deliver Us from Evil (2014)

★☆☆☆ – (2014) – A New York City cop pursues the evil that’s corrupting the innocent. Laughable in its drama, horror, religious aspects, and especially the faux New York accents. An all-too-serious take on the blends of horror movie banality (most notably Exorcist III and Emily Rose).

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Dead Country

Dead Country

★☆☆☆ – (2008) – An alien contagion turns the folks of Australia into zombies. A complete mess that’s too random in plot and characters to remotely make sense. There’s low budget art and there’s low budget fodder. This is the latter.

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Oldboy (2013)

Oldboy (2013)

★½☆☆ – (2013) – A man who’s isolated in an illegally run prison for twenty years seeks answers relating to his captors. Loses credibility when knowing the outcome, but getting there is filled with more silliness than the original. Not nearly as shocking or relevant this time around, and might be the single most unneeded remake in recent memory.

Posted in Revenge, Torture | Leave a comment

Dr. Moreau’s House of Pain

Dr. Moreau's House of Pain

★★☆☆ – (2004) – A boxer travels to an island where a scientist is blending humans with animals. The strive to come across as a period piece is simply embarrassing, but the pace is quick, the length is short, and the key slut is often naked. Amusing in a pitiful way, and manages to (slightly) entertain.

Posted in Creature/Monster, Freak/Mutant, Mad Doctor/Scientist | Leave a comment

The ABCs of Death

ABCs of Death, The

★½☆☆ – (2012) – Anthology of 26 stories based on each letter of the English alphabet, yet most stories aren’t American. An ambitious strive for uniqueness that’s unfortunately bogged down by an overall sense that nobody took their assignment seriously. Moves fast, but is quicker to forget.

Posted in Anthology, Campy, Creature/Monster, Insect, Torture | Leave a comment

Bride of Boogedy

Bride of Boogedy

★½☆☆ – (1987) – Jokester parents and their children contend with spirits in their new home. A full-length sequel/remake to a TV episode that exploits the rampant obnoxiousness of the original while failing to build on anything unique. The Halloween atmosphere is appreciated, but the kid friendly antics become nauseating fast.

Posted in Campy, Ghost, Halloween, Haunted House, Horror Comedy, Possessed | Leave a comment