– (2023) – A paranormal expert films himself investigating a haunted commode. A putrid waste of time and resources that lacks the camp needed to make a blatant turd like this work. This is essentially about one guy with a camera phone who’s eventually attacked by hideous computer graphics. Not fun, not funny, and not worth 81 grueling minutes.
– (2023) – Four people quietly invade a vacationing couple and their adopted child over a matter of life-altering sacrifices. A muddled and unemotional experience that takes too long to get going without ever finding an impactful point. Constructed in such a way that figuring out what’s actually happening is worth anticipating, but the ultimate reveal is a silly letdown.
– (2023) – A crusader once torn from his dark heritage realizes his role as a bloodsucker while in search of a sacred stone. Though the story is muddled and blood kept in low supply, this has great looking atmosphere and a wonderfully creepy antagonist. Doesn’t actually end, but leaves the door open another gloomy entry, which is fine as long as Anders Hove is still involved. A treat for fans of the series.
– (1987) – Small creatures that can multiply wreak havoc on a small town and its quirky inhabitants. There’s barely a plot and little-to-no character progression, but what more could be expected from a Gremlins inspired cash grab? Despite its many flaws, there is a lot of activity and no scene lingers long enough to bore.
– (2023) – A group of friends who once participated in a prank gone wrong gather for a retreat where they’re picked off by an unknown assailant. Follows the basic pattern of an ordinary slasher, from obvious red herrings to stock characters, and even manages some cheap CGI along the way. Pretty much stinks in that it’s so bland, but it is relatively well made.
your a-z guide to obscure & classic horror movies
– (2020) – A man who’s too kind, too quirky, and too frightened for his own good investigates strange occurrences on Halloween. Begins as a well meaning and wholesome tale of an outcast protecting others, but by the mid-point becomes a trial of patience since the plot is so unabashedly weak. Humorous in spots, but the main highlight is the atmosphere.
– (1980) – Three female campers are abducted and later pursued by hillbilly brothers and their mother. Provides too much forced corn to come close to ranking among the many superior movies this one rips off. A boring concoction of failure with a wasteful conclusion.
– (2014) – Two yuppies go camping, get lost, and become hunted by a bear. You’re at the mercy of two characters who carry most of the film, and while they’re not completely annoying, they’re not exactly worth cheering on, either. Once a map is denied within the first five minutes you know exactly how things will pan out, but there are a few gritty moments later in the film.
– (1990) – Anthology of skits that include exploding heads, a man stabbed at dinner, a mutant stomach, human cuisine, a social zombie, a glob of flesh, a man who vomits blood, tattoo removal, freak patients and a disc of nails. Doesn’t have a lot of gore, but piles on plenty of stupidity. Amounts to nothing in the end, but always moves fast.
– (1980) – A mysterious woman, a black cat, and the undead make trouble for people who are often naked. Doesn’t have much a plot to talk about, as this is more concerned with occasional sex scenes, some of which are hardcore. Don’t get excited, though, those scenes are as bland as everything else.
– (2012) – A murderous clown goes on trial in hell for not committing enough evil deeds. The initial premise is rather clever, and leads to some funny moments, but anything inventive is stretched thin and beaten to death by the midpoint. Despite a busy finale, this is mainly on the dull side.
– (1983) – Movie fans break into the mortuary where a recently deceased icon is resting, and become trapped by his evil forces. Though the concept isn’t too bad, the actuality is painfully trite. Lacks creativity in characters, suspense, and meaning.