Amityville Backpack
– (2024) – A complete schmuck buys a backpack that drills to death anyone who wears it. Only features a few actors who repeat the same mannerisms throughout, and has abominable gore straight out of a Walmart Halloween aisle. Repeats the same plot points over and over again, yet never puts forth a reason to exist. Silly at times, but not silly enough.
MaXXXine
– (2024) – An aspiring actress lands her first non-porno role while those closest to her are picked off by a serial killer. A slow and steady mystery that consistently involves despite featuring a beyond-selfish protagonist who does nothing but protect herself, which is seemingly the Hollywood way. Loses some steam once the killer is revealed, yet does have an ultra-violent climax. The lesser entry in the series, though it still manages to grip. (Kevin Bacon steals the show.)
In a Violent Nature
– (2024) – A maniac stalks a wooden terrain and kills anyone he comes across. Though relatively plot-free, this is an extremely unique slasher that focuses not on partying teens, but on the killer himself. The pace is slow, there’s little dialog, and a musical score doesn’t exist, but none of those things are a problem since they add a sense of realism many of these films lack. Hits the skids during an unimpressive final act, but getting there is often satisfying.
Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey II
– (2024) – Animals once abandoned by a human continue their destructive ways. There’s really not plot to speak of, as the only story relates to the occurrences of the first film, but I doubt anyone will show up for the narrative. Those coming for the violence certainly won’t be let down, as the murders deliver some truly heavy punches. Thin but brutal.
Cinderella’s Revenge
– (2024) – A girl who’s tormented by her family exacts revenge on them after they try to claim a prince from her. On one hand it’s nice to see a fairy tale take a turn toward violence, but there isn’t a whole lot of carnage and not much fun is had with the premise, aside from a godmother from the future. Not great, but it’s short and has a mean streak.
your a-z guide to obscure & classic horror movies
– (1982) – Campers run into a wacky old man and the ghosts of children. The acting is rancid, the fight scenes are badly staged, and the music is irritating. Odd, but always in the worst ways.
– (1989) – College students on a train trip encounter a Satanist with ties to human sacrifice. Not bad when displaying miniature F/X and abundant cheese of the era, but the story is barely serviceable. Some kills are rather epic, but the conclusion is as witty as it is dumb.
-(1979) – A married couple moves into a house that inverts crosses and spews gook. Begins with an overlong satanic ritual that paves the way for the sheer boredom that follows. There’s hardly any dialog, barely any movement, and not one inkling of suspense. For some reason ends with a voodoo ritual.
Lost After Dark
– (2015) – A group of friends steal a bus, run out of gas, and end up in the terrain of a killer. Another faux ’80s slasher that pretends it’s from the past but forgets to include a single moment that feels like the ’80s. This is just another shot on digital mess with CGI gore and typically trite teens.
Primeval
– (2007) – Americans research a giant crocodile in genocide laden Africa. The drama and terror most often work well, but occasionally fall victim to silliness. Gets better as it goes and has a pretty effective conclusion.
Breakdown Lane
– (2017) – A woman with car issues becomes stranded in a vacant area where the living dead outnumber the living. While this does attempt a variety of action and horror scenes, they’re so badly constructed it’s often hard to tell what the overall point is. Whitney Moore is easy on the eyes, but the rest of this is rather repugnant.
Angel Heart
– (1987) – A private detective leaves behind a trail of dead bodies on his way from a Poughkeepsie asylum to the voodoo depths of Louisiana. Engrossing from the start and steadily paced throughout, with great highlights in atmosphere and acting. The climax, however, borders on silly.
Tales from the Hood 3
– (2020) – Anthology of four stories (amid a brief wraparound) that focus on burn victims, white supremacy, diva swapping, and sneakers that induce diarrhea. While none of the stories can be considered profound, none are particularly worthless either. An okay outing that has brushes with humor and some decent-enough horror.
Pigs
– (1972) – A troubled woman hides out at a farm where the farmer feeds dead humans to pigs. There are certainly pigs afoot, but they don’t exactly do much. Too much time is spent between boring characters who have nothing of interest to say. A lifeless drama.