– (2017) – A space crew hones in on a beacon sent from a planet with reproduction issues. Takes a while to get going, and has plenty of slow spots, but does manage to excite on occasion. Answers questions posed in Prometheus, but not in an air tight manner. Certainly entertaining, and worthy of the franchise.
– (2016) – Cops, hospital personnel, and vigilantes contend with interdimensional forces of evil. Basically a cross between Assault on Precinct 13 and From Beyond, with traces of other more successful films thrown in the mix. Has some enjoyably gory mayhem, but the plot and significance lack originality.
– (2017) – A military guided expedition to an unclaimed island leads to the discovery of a massive ape. Gets off to a rip-roaring start, but after the first major action sequence, the pace takes a serious hit. Separate parties wander toward a rendezvous point amid sporadic creature battles, yet only one character has a background while others go missing for long stretches. The human scope is empty, but the mystique of Kong is top notch.
– (2017) – A woman who’s been battling a corporate viral outbreak for many years returns to the epicenter of her problems to end all the madness. Follows the same formula as the previous entries by placing computerized technology over any human traits. A jumbled mess that has no flow, no involvement, and no reassurance that this is actually the end.
– (2016) – A vampire in a shiny leather coat aims to stop her kind from fighting werewolves in shiny leather coats. Yet another preposterous, pompous, and pretentious entry in a never-ending series that continues to take itself too seriously despite a severe lack of originality. Bloated CGI mumbo jumbo for an audience that couldn’t possible be asking for more entries.
– (2016) – Three scientists and an MTA worker hunt the harbinger of ghosts to prevent Armageddon. Strives to become a big budget F/X extravaganza for the ages, but quickly becomes a waste of money thanks to an abundance of dead jokes and irritating characters. Busy in structure, but barely entertaining.
– (2016) – Godzilla resurfaces in Japan and spawns into a huge problem. Moves at bullet speed, has few shots that last longer than four seconds, and never lingers long enough to get to know anyone. Does have one great night scene of Godzilla mayhem, but the bulk of this consists of rapid discussions of how to bring him down.
– (2016) – Whirlwinds of sharks (and cows) wreak havoc across the country, laying waste to washed up celebrities and those with no future. Gets off to an awesomely bombastic start in Las Vegas, but then settles into the safe corn this series thrives on. Goes to absurd places, and does have some fun vibes.
– (2017) – Five cars race across America and aim for pedestrians as their point achievements. A remake that keeps some of the original’s craziness, but the tongue-in-cheek nature of such oddities is lost to an overall lack of focus. One of cinema’s worst edited movies in existence as scenes and events come and go with little to no cohesion. Also, the F/X are terrible.
– (1993) – Scientists head to a bayou to explore the presence of an alien with human DNA. Despite a few attempts to elicit excitement in the final act, nothing that appears throughout comes close to meaning anything. Humor, sleaze, and monster activities are all lacking, though scenes of uselessness are in high supply.