– (1957) – A brain from outer space attempts world domination by possessing a scientist. Dumb as a stone from the onset, and crawls through one drab progression after another. Always ridiculous, but never in a truly fun way since there are more yawns provided than laughs.
– (1994) – A young man who’s mauled by a lion has his brain implanted into a mechanical dinosaur. As preposterous as the plot sounds, this actually sort of works because it knows exactly how stupid it is. Moves fast and blends eye-rolling comedy with some genuinely humorous moments. Sounds like a children’s movie, but is far more risque.
– (2006) – A group of spies aim to steal a formula that can create life, and unwittingly unleash a dinosaur. The narrative aspects are pitiful, as they’re packed with too much macho nonsense. The monster inclusions, however, are so unbelievably ridiculous they’re almost impossible not to giggle through.
– (2001) – A cop and a wildlife officer investigate murders that lead to a carnosaur creation facility. The plot is nothing new, and most every line spoken is an exercise in stupidity, but the pace is quick and the corn levels high. The monster mayhem is by far the highlight, but there’s not nearly enough of those moments.
– (2018) – A three-headed serpent is summoned to take down a dormant Godzilla. Sounds like a monster movie, but this really isn’t since Godzilla is hardly around and barely moves when he does show up. Most of this consists of verbal diarrhea from droll characters who splurt one philosophical rant after another.
– (2018) – Humans aim to destroy Godzilla to restore Earth’s environment to habitable conditions. The few monster moments are okay, but 95% of this consists of characters rambling on and on and on about what should be done instead of actually doing it. A mighty bore that even seasoned fans will yawn through.
– (2019) – A soul-infused car attacks those who killed its owner. Has little to do with the vehicle in question, and plenty more regarding a villian who creates an assortment of cyberpunk henchmen. Neither aspect works. This wants to be cool, but by trying too hard to become cool this turns into a hot pile of dung.
– (2017) – Johnny Rico and his troopers try to outlast bugs and a politician who wants to wipe out Mars. For every moment of interest there are several of repetitiveness and rock bottom dialog. Has a rather sensitive moment featuring a past character, and the visuals are cool, but there’s little new here.
– (2018) – A disgraced rescue diver attempts to save a deep sea crew from a massive shark. A long, rambling chore that isn’t unlike any other cliche riddled SyFy channel monster movie, only this one somehow garnered a massive budget, none of which focused on the script. A colossal bore with vacant characters and bland action.
– (2018) – Giant monsters invade Earth with aid from corporate scum, and it’s up to youth-controlled robots to bring them down. Exactly on par with the first film, from rancid dialog to slapdash action to the feeling that a lot of money was wasted during production. An obnoxious, empty headed children’s movie.