Deathstalker IV: Match of Titans

★★☆☆ – (1991) – A sorceress abducts the winners of a sword fighting tournament and turns them into a stone army. Sounds like a goofy good time, but too much of this focuses of one droll fight after another. As repetitive as a film can get, but has enough corniness and nudity to make the watch an unharmful one.

 211 total views

Deathstalker III: The Warriors from Hell

★½☆☆ – (1988) – A warrior and a princess set out to claim one of two stones before an evil ruler gathers both. Has a few eye opening moments of the lamest varieties, but most other progressions are mundane. Doesn’t last long and moves relatively fast, although the only highlights are ones the creators shouldn’t be proud of.

 187 total views

Deathstalker II: Duel of the Titans

★★☆☆ – (1987) – A warrior and a princess aim to reclaim her kingdom from a clone created by an evil magician. There’s a goofy charm persistent throughout, which is a major saving grace since this is pretty dry even with the campy tone. Swords, sorcery, and zombies and in supply, but the plot sustaining them is a bit too thin.

 190 total views

Little Red Riding Hood and the Monsters

★½☆☆ – (1962) – A young girl and a skunk intend to save a wolf and an ogre from certain death. Perhaps the most traumatic children’s movie in creation, as dark creepiness, uncomfortable progressions, and nods to Satan aren’t uncommon. An absurd curiosity that’s hard to believe exists, but any joy experienced by such a travesty is ruined by repetition, aggravation, and irritation.

 194 total views

The 7th Voyage of Sinbad

★★☆☆ – (1958) – A swashbuckling sailor helps a devious magician reclaim his magic lamp in a land of monsters. Though the human element is paper thin, and the pace often sluggish, this deserves a ton of respect for the effective creature moments. Deservedly renown for its F/X, while the plot is a simple means to get to the stop-motion highlights.

 143 total views

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

Hobbit 3, The

★½☆☆ – (2014) – Parties of varying species go to war over the fate of a mountain. A barely plausible story that’s jam packed with characters who mean nothing and action scenes that are too overblown to excite. A sloppy CGI epic that has absolutely no heart beneath its hollow scenes of war.

 130 total views,  1 views today