– (1991) – A sorceress abducts the winners of a sword fighting tournament and turns them into a stone army. Sounds like a goofy good time, but too much of this focuses of one droll fight after another. As repetitive as a film can get, but has enough corniness and nudity to make the watch an unharmful one.
153 total views
– (1988) – A warrior and a princess set out to claim one of two stones before an evil ruler gathers both. Has a few eye opening moments of the lamest varieties, but most other progressions are mundane. Doesn’t last long and moves relatively fast, although the only highlights are ones the creators shouldn’t be proud of.
141 total views
– (1987) – A warrior and a princess aim to reclaim her kingdom from a clone created by an evil magician. There’s a goofy charm persistent throughout, which is a major saving grace since this is pretty dry even with the campy tone. Swords, sorcery, and zombies and in supply, but the plot sustaining them is a bit too thin.
143 total views
– (1983) – A warrior quests for magical items and a princess in a realm of monsters and other warriors. Has an abundance of fighting and nudity, but that’s about it. The plot is particularly bland, and when all is said and done most everything is easy to forget. However, this does work well as an 80’s time capsule.
118 total views
– (1962) – A young girl and a skunk intend to save a wolf and an ogre from certain death. Perhaps the most traumatic children’s movie in creation, as dark creepiness, uncomfortable progressions, and nods to Satan aren’t uncommon. An absurd curiosity that’s hard to believe exists, but any joy experienced by such a travesty is ruined by repetition, aggravation, and irritation.
147 total views
– (1977) – A swashbuckling sailor and his comrades travel to a distant land to break the curse of a prince-turned-baboon. While there are moments of adventure and monster activity, everything in between moves incredibly slow. Gets points for imagination, but the excitement factor is bogged down by the languid pace.
98 total views
– (1973) – A swashbuckling sailor travels to an island for treasure while encountering a magician with an evil agenda. The few action scenes are okay, as the F/X are impressive, but there’s virtually no point to most every activity. Characters are too incredibly thin and the pace induces yawns.
106 total views
– (1958) – A swashbuckling sailor helps a devious magician reclaim his magic lamp in a land of monsters. Though the human element is paper thin, and the pace often sluggish, this deserves a ton of respect for the effective creature moments. Deservedly renown for its F/X, while the plot is a simple means to get to the stop-motion highlights.
103 total views
– (1986) – The Lord of Darkness aims for the destruction of purity to ensure a world of night. The production design and makeup F/X are top notch, but a story is barely existent. Characters and their situations are too thin to bring meaning to the bland bleakness.
96 total views
– (2014) – Parties of varying species go to war over the fate of a mountain. A barely plausible story that’s jam packed with characters who mean nothing and action scenes that are too overblown to excite. A sloppy CGI epic that has absolutely no heart beneath its hollow scenes of war.
87 total views