– (1998) – A brother and sister who witness a parental tragedy grow up to kill college students in the name of poetry. Basically consists of shirtless men dying incredibly fake deaths at the hands of a shirtless woman. The humor and acting are dreadful, and any sense of fun is hard to find.
– (2016) – A creature is picking off dimwits who f**k on its killing ground. Essentially has no f**king plot, as this is merely a means to have lousy f**king actors have partially clothed sex. Good for some okay f**king nudity, but anyone looking for solid f**king entertainment need steer f**king clear.
– (2014) – Nazis are separated from one another ensuing a plane mishap and end up in woods where cannibals dwell. Runs 96 minutes, but if you remove all the slo-mo shots this would easily shave a half hour. Though a few rants are humorous, there are more sots of buttcheeks than anything that advances an actual plot.
– (1999) – A young woman applies for a secretary job yet is fondled and stripped nude over the course of an hour. That’s it. That’s the movie. Granted, Erin Brown is extremely attractive, but watching her get humiliated for such a long stretch is discomforting. Eventually winds down on a note of eating the lead actress, which is the most plot this offers.
– (2016) – A group of friends on a Spring Break vacation encounter a killer who spreads his murderous plague. The characters are pure stock, but the horror does try to make up for such shortcomings. Within the first half hour is necrophilia, rape, scat, tampon eating, urine drinking, and vomiting. If that sounds like fun, climb on board, if not, run from this as fast as you can.
– (2015) – A large man who carts around large pancakes is picking off teens from a church retreat. There’s virtually no plot, and most everything from a slasher sense has been seen before, but this doesn’t take itself seriously and has a ton of momentum, which helps it stand out from the pack. Provides plenty and boobs and blood, and has a particularly creative kill when someone is halved.
– (1976) – A female film director seeks a male for her latest low budget movie, which happens to upset a giant ape. Strives hard for cult consideration, and might garner attention as a curiosity, but too much of this is flat out dull. The jokes that work occasionally work well, but the failing jokes leave behind a wretched stench.