– (1991) – A sorceress abducts the winners of a sword fighting tournament and turns them into a stone army. Sounds like a goofy good time, but too much of this focuses of one droll fight after another. As repetitive as a film can get, but has enough corniness and nudity to make the watch an unharmful one.
– (1987) – A warrior and a princess aim to reclaim her kingdom from a clone created by an evil magician. There’s a goofy charm persistent throughout, which is a major saving grace since this is pretty dry even with the campy tone. Swords, sorcery, and zombies and in supply, but the plot sustaining them is a bit too thin.
– (1977) – A thawed abominable snowman, who’s generally kind, wreaks havoc when exploited by an oil tycoon. Everything featuring the monster is a blast (except when he sleeps for ten minutes), but everything else is rather dull. The combination leads to a decent time with one whopper of a highlight that involves a falling woman and her timely rescue.
– (1973) – A sheep monster evolves in a town where a racist mayor can’t see eye to eye with a cowboy. While this does feature one of the cruddiest looking monsters in horror history, its appearance is the only sign of life. Too great a portion of this is incredibly dry and disjointed.
– (1988) – A murdered cop is resurrected as a cyborg to take on a vampire amid a drug war. Works sort of well when dealing with the ridiculous horror aspects, but most of this involves stunningly dull action scenes and character interactions. Manages to amuse on occasion, but is more often prone to bore.
– (1962) – A young girl and a skunk intend to save a wolf and an ogre from certain death. Perhaps the most traumatic children’s movie in creation, as dark creepiness, uncomfortable progressions, and nods to Satan aren’t uncommon. An absurd curiosity that’s hard to believe exists, but any joy experienced by such a travesty is ruined by repetition, aggravation, and irritation.
– (1957) – A pilot and government personnel investigate several sightings of a massive, murderous bird. Most of what happens is typical of 50’s monster movies, but what works so well here is how seriously the plot is taken versus how awful the monster looks. Has mystery and action, but is prone to repeat itself.
– (2019) – A girl once forced to live her dying day over and again is pulled into a dimension where she’s forced to live her dying day over and again. While this doesn’t necessarily duplicate the original verbatim, it does feel awfully familiar and has an equally lame outcome. However, more fun is had this time around, thanks to the zanniness, though some comedy and schmaltz feel forced.
– (1957) – A brain from outer space attempts world domination by possessing a scientist. Dumb as a stone from the onset, and crawls through one drab progression after another. Always ridiculous, but never in a truly fun way since there are more yawns provided than laughs.
– (1994) – A cop and his obnoxious partner track an agent of Satan in Israel. Fueled by corn from start to finish, but not in a way that’s overly humorous. The jokes are rather dumb and the action is rather drab, but what’s worse is how stagnant the plot is and how little horror is represented.