– (1991) – A geek is coaxed into entering a haunted house attraction that contains an escaped killer. The concept holds promise, but the execution has no idea whether it wants to provide thrills or comedy, and ends up featuring neither. Taking place on Halloween helps, but nothing that occurs holds any weight.
– (2012) – A crew of spirit hunters travel to the spot of past killings, and eventually find the killer. Gets off to a humorous start, if you’re used to the humor of Chris Seaver. The plot isn’t much, and horror comes in dribs and drabs, but there’s often an infectious sense of fun occurring amid extreme vulgarity.
– (2015) – A group of friends steal a bus, run out of gas, and end up in the terrain of a killer. Another faux ’80s slasher that pretends it’s from the past but forgets to include a single moment that feels like the ’80s. This is just another shot on digital mess with CGI gore and typically trite teens.
– (2017) – A down on her luck woman ends up working in a strip club that employs the most despicable humans known to man. Doesn’t accomplish anything new, but does have a basic core that’s easy to watch thanks to bitchy characters and a seedy setting. The acting borders on travesty at times, but does add to the low grade charm that permeates throughout.
– (2015) – A man who hears voices attempts to kill the daughter of an artist who’s hearing the same voices. Has a relatively strong family dynamic, and a frustratingly cruel villain, but too much happens too fast to become emotional attached to either. Gets under your skin at times, but misses the mark in others.
– (2016) – A toy monkey from the Amityville house has a man envisioning the ghost of the notorious Long Island killer. At the very least has something to do with the original film, unlike most recent sequels, but the output is too cheap to respect. Does have murders that correlate with the legend, but there’s virtually no conclusion. Runs less than an hour before the slow credits roll, which is the ultimate blessing.
– (2016) – The survivor of the previous entry watches a movie with her mother and recounts past footage to a shrink. One of the laziest, ugliest, and least resourceful heaps of dung to ever disgrace an internet stream. Built on scenes from other lousy movies, while anything new is preposterously inept.
– (2016) – A group of friends visit the site of past murders and are stalked by a killer in a clown mask. How bad is this? Let’s count the ways. 1. There are too many stagnant shots of random things. 2. The acting stinks. 3. The story and its flashbacks make no sense. 4. Has an open ending as though anyone would want this garbage to continue.