– (2016) – A group of soldiers take on the zombie armageddon with much glee and cursing. This is one of those occasions where if you don’t laugh within the first five minutes, you won’t laugh at all (unless you’re high). Constantly attempts jokes amid a common horror backdrop, but aside from a chuckle or two, nothing is funny and the bro jargon gets old fast.
– (2013) – Sorority girls having a pajama party conjure the vengeful spirit of Lizzie Borden. The plot is all nonsense, and none of the girls are likable, but it moves fast, isn’t long, and has some amazing eye candy. The murders, however, are among the worst ever filmed on a low budget.
– (1973) – The missing link runs amok while terrorizing people, going to the movies, and playing a piano. It’s clear from the first second that this never intended to be anything but a cheesy comedy, but the problem is that it’s never funny. Easy to get through thanks to a short length, but still tries patience early on.
– (2013) – A group of friends decide to party in the realm of a raping, murdering yeti. Purposefully cheap and cheesy, and never pretends it’ll end up in the annals of credible filmmaking. Provides plenty of fun with some truly funny lines and sight gags. Not for everyone, but only runs 58-minutes.
– (1963) – A doctor develops the ability to see through people and objects, yet can’t figure out what to do with his power. A premise that could have been fun is instead ruined as the lead gradually becomes more and more of a jerk. Unfocused, to say the least, but the variety of ideas does keep things moving.
– (2016) – God, the devil, and their acquaintances sing through the plight of putting dark souls in Heaven. Not nearly as painful as the dull original, as this one shows signs of life. The plot tends to confuse, and the songs are repetitive, but there is progression and solid production values.
– (2014) – Zombies with soft skulls force the non-infected to outlast them by any means. Has a lot going on, moves fast, and is well-made from a directorial standpoint, but the story is a common drag. Emotional and humorous situations feel forced, and nothing relevant is known of any character aside from brief flashbacks.
– (2010) – A woman who longs for a specific home goes through extreme measures to clear out its occupants. The story is decent enough to carry the viewer from beginning to end, but the selling point by far is the violence. Some of the murders are among the most creative and hard to watch in the history of the slasher. Brutal enjoyment that should be watched on an empty stomach.
– (2012) – Two baseball players try to survive a living dead outbreak in rural America. Not the worst thing to happen to the zombie genre, but far from the best since it never does anything particularly new. The few characters are engaging at first, but like the story around them, they don’t take long to not do anything special.
– (2016) – A naked force of absolute evil makes life painfully difficult for the few people in her terrain. Gets off to a pitiful start before the horror takes over and the failed attempt to create credible characters wanes. The plot makes no sense, but the violence is so unabashedly disgusting it’s hard not to cringe or squirm through the impressive second half.
