Range 15

★☆☆☆ – (2016) – A group of soldiers take on the zombie armageddon with much glee and cursing. This is one of those occasions where if you don’t laugh within the first five minutes, you won’t laugh at all (unless you’re high). Constantly attempts jokes amid a common horror backdrop, but aside from a chuckle or two, nothing is funny and the bro jargon gets old fast.

Schlock

★½☆☆ – (1973) – The missing link runs amok while terrorizing people, going to the movies, and playing a piano. It’s clear from the first second that this never intended to be anything but a cheesy comedy, but the problem is that it’s never funny. Easy to get through thanks to a short length, but still tries patience early on.

The Devil’s Carnival: Alleluia!

★★☆☆ – (2016) – God, the devil, and their acquaintances sing through the plight of putting dark souls in Heaven. Not nearly as painful as the dull original, as this one shows signs of life. The plot tends to confuse, and the songs are repetitive, but there is progression and solid production values.

Dream Home

★★½☆ – (2010) – A woman who longs for a specific home goes through extreme measures to clear out its occupants. The story is decent enough to carry the viewer from beginning to end, but the selling point by far is the violence. Some of the murders are among the most creative and hard to watch in the history of the slasher. Brutal enjoyment that should be watched on an empty stomach.

The Battery

★★☆☆ – (2012) – Two baseball players try to survive a living dead outbreak in rural America. Not the worst thing to happen to the zombie genre, but far from the best since it never does anything particularly new. The few characters are engaging at first, but like the story around them, they don’t take long to not do anything special.