– (1991) – A geek is coaxed into entering a haunted house attraction that contains an escaped killer. The concept holds promise, but the execution has no idea whether it wants to provide thrills or comedy, and ends up featuring neither. Taking place on Halloween helps, but nothing that occurs holds any weight.
– (2012) – A crew of spirit hunters travel to the spot of past killings, and eventually find the killer. Gets off to a humorous start, if you’re used to the humor of Chris Seaver. The plot isn’t much, and horror comes in dribs and drabs, but there’s often an infectious sense of fun occurring amid extreme vulgarity.
– (2012) – Three women perform rituals on young men in order to appease their god. An incredibly repetitive outing that features near-naked men showering or squirming in bed before the women laughably turn into cougars and allegedly eat them (the eating is never shown). A lazy concoction that means absolutely nothing.
– (2016) – A creature is picking off dimwits who f**k on its killing ground. Essentially has no f**king plot, as this is merely a means to have lousy f**king actors have partially clothed sex. Good for some okay f**king nudity, but anyone looking for solid f**king entertainment need steer f**king clear.
– (2014) – Nazis are separated from one another ensuing a plane mishap and end up in woods where cannibals dwell. Runs 96 minutes, but if you remove all the slo-mo shots this would easily lose a half hour. Though a few rants are humorous, there are more close-ups of butt cheeks than anything that advances an actual plot.
– (1999) – A young woman applies for a secretary job yet is fondled and stripped nude over the course of an hour. That’s it. That’s the movie. Granted, Erin Brown is extremely attractive, but watching her get humiliated for such a long stretch is discomforting. Eventually winds down on a note of eating the lead actress, which is the most plot this offers.
– (2016) – A group of friends on a Spring Break vacation encounter a killer who spreads his murderous plague. The characters are pure stock, but the horror does try to make up for such shortcomings. Within the first half hour is necrophilia, rape, scat, tampon eating, urine drinking, and vomiting. If that sounds like fun, climb on board, if not, run from this as fast as you can.
– (2015) – A large man who carts around large pancakes is picking off teens from a church retreat. There’s virtually no plot, and most everything from a slasher sense has been seen before, but this doesn’t take itself seriously and has a ton of momentum, which helps it stand out from the pack. Provides plenty and boobs and blood, and has a particularly creative kill when someone is halved.