– (1989) – Two friends encounter summoned creatures in a small house. Has moments that feel like a direct rip-off of The Evil Dead, but this can’t even plagiarize correctly. All that’s here are a bunch of scenes shot on the cheap, presumably without a script, for the sole purpose of making a “movie.” All parties involved should bow their heads in shame for barely trying.
29 total views, 5 views today
– (2018) – A superficial couple decides to visit cursed land on Long Island. An absolute waste of every physical resource utilized to create something that serves no purpose whatsoever. There’s a good chance this features the worst dialog in film history, along with the worst screen duo of all time. Elicits rage in its ineptitude, but sometimes causes eyes to roll and serves as one of the ultimate guides in how not to make a movie.
57 total views, 2 views today
– (2020) – A group of girls are stranded in woods where a masked killer and his mother kill or abduct them. Never very good, but it’s light years better than others in this cruddy series by at least attempting stupidity at every turn. Cheap even by dirt standards, but does entertain from time to time.
57 total views
– (2019) – Documentary that explores the life of a makeup F/X legend, from unexpected personal stories to familiar horror highlights. Covers ground most every horror fan has seen and heard before, but also has inclusions new to a seasoned die hard. Full of great coverage, and ends on a spiritually uplifting note.
178 total views, 4 views today
– (2019) – Soldiers travel to a moon of Mars to prevent demons from bringing hell to Earth. Little more than an Aliens clone with possessed scientists and unimpressive creatures in place of memorable enemies. Too murky in appearance and too dopey in execution to take seriously.
61 total views
– (1991) – CIA personnel take on mutants and terrorists in suburbia. Hard to tell what exactly is happening, since the editing is too sporadic when scenes don’t endlessly drag. Seems to have amused those involved, but for the rest of us this is pure torture.
86 total views
– (2016) – The son of a murderer and his stoner friend hide from controversy in a small town, but are uncovered and blamed for new murders. A bad experience in that very few jokes are funny, despite attempting the zany vibe of the Scary Movie franchise. Has energy, but nothing worth remembering.
78 total views
– (2020) – Ocean researches become trapped miles beneath the surface when their rig is destroyed. On top of escape they also battle a monster. Gets off to an exciting and tense start, but gradually becomes repetitive and dull. Manages some suspense toward the end, but there’s little danger felt for the characters since all we know about them are thin backstories.
96 total views
– (2020) – Twelve people are hunted for sport, and those not immediately picked off are left to figure out why. Gets off to a rip-roaring, unpredictable start packed with plenty of gory mayhem. Slows considerably after the first half hour, but still maintains intrigue thanks to a bonkers plot and an even more bonkers lead actress. Says enough about politics to “trigger” the easily offended.
88 total views
– (2019) – When two siblings stay at a lodge with their father’s new girlfriend, dysfunction slowly gives way to insanity. From start to finish there are some clever moments and surprises, but they’re sporadically placed amid an incredibly drawn out 108-minutes, which often feels like an eternity. A brisker pace might have amped-up suspense, but what remains is steady though not highly enjoyable.
96 total views