– (2019) – Replicants of ordinary people arrive to replace them, but a girl who was once lost to a vision of herself intends to end the takeover. Though the premise promises strangeness of a high degree, the outcome is only minimally enjoyable thanks to criminally underdeveloped characters and a crawling pace. More time is spent on lame boat jokes than bolstering appeal in the human spirit or social commentary.
– (1987) – Four girls on their way to Florida for spring break become prey to a man who’s caught killing his mistress. Has a fun start that displays plenty of activity in character interactions and their initial scenarios. Screeches to a halt after a brisk first third, and goes through familiar advancements at a sluggish rate.
– (1991) – A sorceress abducts the winners of a sword fighting tournament and turns them into a stone army. Sounds like a goofy good time, but too much of this focuses of one droll fight after another. As repetitive as a film can get, but has enough corniness and nudity to make the watch an unharmful one.
– (1988) – A warrior and a princess set out to claim one of two stones before an evil ruler gathers both. Has a few eye opening moments of the lamest varieties, but most other progressions are mundane. Doesn’t last long and moves relatively fast, although the only highlights are ones the creators shouldn’t be proud of.
– (1987) – A warrior and a princess aim to reclaim her kingdom from a clone created by an evil magician. There’s a goofy charm persistent throughout, which is a major saving grace since this is pretty dry even with the campy tone. Swords, sorcery, and zombies and in supply, but the plot sustaining them is a bit too thin.
– (1983) – A warrior quests for magical items and a princess in a realm of monsters and other warriors. Has an abundance of fighting and nudity, but that’s about it. The plot is particularly bland, and when all is said and done most everything is easy to forget. However, this does work well as an 80’s time capsule.
– (1977) – A thawed abominable snowman, who’s generally kind, wreaks havoc when exploited by an oil tycoon. Everything featuring the monster is a blast (except when he sleeps for ten minutes), but everything else is rather dull. The combination leads to a decent time with one whopper of a highlight that involves a falling woman and her timely rescue.
– (2005) – A journalist and a reporter head to Romania to investigate a cult that can summon deadly storms. Reaches absurd levels of stupidity five minutes in and rarely disappoints in the realm of idiocy thereafter. A bit too slow to hold in higher bad movie regard, but a lot of what occurs between dialog, acting, F/X, and plot points is truly absurd.
– (1968) – Astronauts unwittingly bring back an ooze from an asteroid that morphs into monsters. Though the goofy special F/X and creature designs do amuse, they’re all but wasted in a movie that refuses to move beyond the speed of molasses. Might have worked better if it displayed a pulse.
– (1973) – A sheep monster evolves in a town where a racist mayor can’t see eye to eye with a cowboy. While this does feature one of the cruddiest looking monsters in horror history, its appearance is the only sign of life. Too great a portion of this is incredibly dry and disjointed.