Garden Tool Massacre

★☆☆☆ – (1997) – Someone’s picking off people in a small town, ruining their opportunity to do nothing. There’s little more to this than watching characters perform random tasks before they’re killed, and not exclusively by gardening tools. Lacks a plot and a point, but at least it’s short.

 34 total views,  4 views today

Vampires vs. the Bronx

★½☆☆ – (2020) – A small group of friends discover vampires living in and buying out their hood. Has an okay start that blends comedy with horror elements, but quickly becomes tiresome when characters never shut up about vampire lore. The final act is especially off-putting as absolutely nothing new is presented. As for the acting… the less said the better.

 61 total views

Wrong Turn (2021)

★★☆☆ – (2021) – A group of friends go off trail while hiking and discover an underground cult. Gets off to a perfectly awful start where insufferable characters constantly scream and curse at will. A twist eventually surfaces within the villains, but this still serves no greater purpose than killing people for rather dumb reasons. Improves as it goes, but drags its feet for so long the ultimate turns become easy to predict.

 168 total views

Willy’s Wonderland

★½☆☆ – (2021) – A man is bribed into cleaning up an abandoned children’s restaurant only to find that the animatronics within come to life. On the surface this sounds like zany fun, but the zaniness becomes briskly repetitive while the fun is lost to a lumbering pace. An all around bore, but the biggest concern is why anyone would hire the almighty Nicolas Cage only to give him nothing to do but punch oversized toys and play pinball.

 133 total views

The Wolf of Snow Hollow

★★½☆ – (2020) – A werewolf is laying waste to citizens of a small town, creating trouble for local police. Doesn’t get off to the most absorbing of starts, since everything appears so common, but involvement in the dramatics does increase throughout. Not exactly a defining moment for lycanthrope films, but it’s steadily enjoyable and features a solid twist.

 163 total views

Psycho Goreman

★½☆☆ – (2020) – Two kids unleash an intergalactic demon who’s pursued by a variety of enemies. Despite some top notch creature designs and ambitious F/X, there’s not much here to recommend since the story and its characters are so painfully shallow. Worst are the attempts at humor that too often fall flat, while the lead actress is nothing short of unlikable.

 96 total views

The Wretched

★★☆☆ – (2019) – An alienated young man and his overly spunky friend discover a witch who complicates an already dysfunctional town. On the bright side the practical F/X are impressive, and the attempt at horror is valiant. However, too many areas are reminiscent of any other fish-out-of-water yarn, while the mystery aspects run no deeper than a Scooby-Doo episode.

 106 total views

Saint Maud

★★★☆ – (2019) – A young nurse with euphoric ties to God slowly unravels while overprotecting her newest patient. A slow and steady account of a character who walks a fine line between zealotry and insanity. The mystery, already gripping throughout, leads to a knock-out conclusion that holds a lasting impression.

 128 total views

12 Hour Shift

★★½☆ – (2020) – A nurse who steals organs for the black market contends with a dolt who too easily screws everything up. The humor, while consistently dry, is rarely laugh-out-loud funny. The story, while consistently offbeat, is rarely profound. However, there are enough dark amusements to consider this a unique curiosity worthy of attention.

 103 total views