The Bride (1973)

[rating:2] – (1973) – A groom and his new woman are tormented by the wife he wronged on their wedding day. Provides glimpses of a strange mystery, but never does anything wholly absorbing. A short drag that goes ridiculous enough places to consider the entire experience imperfect but worthwhile.

Alpha Girls

[rating:1.5] – (2013) – Sorority girls inadvertently awaken an evil force when attempting to gain ground for themselves. Though attempts at horror do occur, the plot and characters don’t add up to zilch. Every college character and situation is like any other in this setting, and practically nothing here hasn’t been seen before.

Candy Corn

[rating:1] – (2019) – A murdered outcast returns to pick off the petty thugs who’ve wronged him. Taking place on Halloween is about the only area worth commending, as everything else is an unwelcome sack of cliches. Absolutely nothing here is remotely original, and comes across as a wannabe Rob Zombie movie with the budget of a gum wrapper.

Midsommar

[rating:1.5] – (2019) – A group of friends travel to Sweden during a period of elongated daylight and run into dark troubles. Despite hogging up a ton of valuable minutes, this chooses to ramble through simplicity rather than establish deep credibility in characters. Whether anyone lives or dies is never a concern as this is mostly a matter of either finding the horror inclusions creepy or ludicrous.

Unearthed and Untold: The Path to Pet Sematary

[rating:2.5] – (2017) – Documentary that explores the making of a horror film from promising script to well received feature. Though nothing astounding or ground breaking is ever put forth, this is still an informative look at the creation of a beloved film. Has enough integral players to make up for the inclusion of those whose input isn’t required, which helps fuel authenticity.

It: Chapter Two

[rating:2.5] – (2019) – A group of friends reunite 27 years after battling an evil force that feeds on fears. Does a good job showcasing an assortment of unique F/X sequences, but the human element is too shallow. The kids have become types, and by focusing too much on their past the reasons to save their hometown in the present is lost. Entirely too long, and could have used less false scares against characters we already know survive their childhoods.

Satanic Panic

[rating:1.5] – (2019) – A pizza delivery girl becomes the target of a Satanic cult that’s in need of a virginal sacrifice. Attempts zaniness at every turn, yet usually comes across as disjointed and unfunny. Moves fast and doesn’t last long, but misses the mark in both horror and camp by trying too hard to pass off the mundane plot as a silly comedy.

Return to Horror Hotel

[rating:2] – (2019) – Anthology of four stories that focus on bed bugs, an antique necklace, a hermit, and a living hand. Slightly better than the previous collection as the tales here are more focused, but they’re still underwhelming and still take place in a MOTEL. Nothing stands out as great, but nothing is particularly miserable.