The Creeping Flesh

★★☆☆ – (1973) – A scientist discovers a skeleton with ties to the start of man, and experiments on his own daughter to ascertain its uniqueness. Begins with a strong premise, but too much time is wasted before getting to the inevitable (and weak) creature conclusion. Has a great production design, and a great cast, but feels longer than it is.

Torture Garden

★★☆☆ – (1967) – Anthology of four stories that focus on a vengeful cat, a secret film society, an active piano, and Edgar Allan Poe. Each segment is unpredictable and uneasy to figure out, which is a plus, but they also move at a crawl. Utilizes some good ideas and some great actors, but is hardly ever shocking.

Strip Club Massacre

★★½☆ – (2017) – A down on her luck woman ends up working in a strip club that employs the most despicable humans known to man. Doesn’t accomplish anything new, but does have a basic core that’s easy to watch thanks to bitchy characters and a seedy setting. The acting borders on travesty at times, but does add to the low grade charm that permeates throughout.

Alien: Covenant

★★½☆ – (2017) – A space crew hones in on a beacon sent from a planet with reproduction issues. Takes a while to get going, and has plenty of slow spots, but does manage to excite on occasion. Answers questions posed in Prometheus, but not in an air tight manner. Certainly entertaining, and worthy of the franchise.

The Amityville Legacy

★½☆☆ – (2016) – A toy monkey from the Amityville house has a man envisioning the ghost of the notorious Long Island killer. At the very least has something to do with the original film, unlike most recent sequels, but the output is too cheap to respect. Does have murders that correlate with the legend, but there’s virtually no conclusion. Runs less than an hour before the slow credits roll, which is the ultimate blessing.

Amityville: Vanishing Point

☆☆☆☆ – (2016) – A girl goes missing from a boarding house in Amityville. The plot is nearly impossible to discern since every line of dialog is an exercise in how not to speak, and is often spoken alongside music of equal volume. This is clearly the work of someone with a camcorder, five dollars, and friends who are willing to ruin their low-level acting careers in one fell swoop. Ugly, erratic, and irritating.