Good Boy
– (2025) – A sickly man relocates to the house in which his grandfather died, and brings with him a dog that’s sensing apparitions. An okay experience from an experimental standpoint, since no other movie is filmed from the perspective of a silent canine. The dog himself is great, but the plot lacks suspense since we never know what’s real, what’s dreamed, or what’s sensed. There’s just no means of emotionally connecting to such a thin, unestablished design.
Haunt Season
– (2024) – Someone’s killing the workers of a haunted house attraction. There’s not much else to describe since the plot is as basic as can be, which means we’re left to deal with some truly dull characters amid truly dull situations. Most of this is padded with drama fueled by overmuch dialog and slightly above average acting. Comes dangerously close to colossally irritating.
V/H/S/Halloween
– (2025) – Anthology of six stories that focus on infected soda, a maternal witch, eyeball brutality, human candy, a child killer, and a really haunted “haunted house.” While each segment features at least some minimal highlight (usually gore), the overall output falls victim to a lack of anything memorable. The human side of things is always a low point, while the SOV bloodletting grew tiresome many, many entries ago.
Hayride Slaughter
– (2001) – Psychics are tasked with discovering the culprit behind murders taking place at a haunted house attraction. Spends most of its appropriately short length on lingering scenes of magic and conversation, but since the acting isn’t half bad they’re all easy to get through. The plot isn’t much, but the T&A will reward those patient enough to see this through.
Halloween Horrors
– (1992) – Someone’s kidnapping women for ransom, and making their lives miserable while awaiting small cash payments. As far as movies go, they don’t get much worse. As far as backyard curiosities go, they still don’t get much worse, but this does show attempts at making a movie without budgetary concerns. Oddly okay despite lacking every conceivable component a thriller should include.
Screamboat
– (2025) – Ferry passengers are forced to contend with a murderous mouse during the last trip of the night. The highlights consist of heavy gore, while the lowlights consist of trivial plotting. No character will ever be remembered, and the villain is too reminiscent of the killer in Leprechaun Returns. In other words, this is worthwhile for the violence, the violence, and the violence. Mildly fun, but instantly forgettable.
– (1962) – A woman returns to the estate where she witnessed a drowning, and gradually identifies the true killer. The opening scenes introduce a hopeful mystery, but everything thereafter is dedicated to dull characters who ramble on and on about other characters. Drab and disappointing.
– (1989) – In order to return to Earth, a human engages in professional fighting against aliens. Blends Rocky with The Star Wars Holiday Special while doing extremely little to distance itself from either. Dopey and emotionless, but sort of fun.
– (1986) – A former POW has a hard time providing for his family in complete poverty. A rotten beginning features the saddest attempt to pass off random woods as the jungles of Vietnam, and the musical score could be the most nauseating ever recorded. Gets better and grittier toward a disturbing finale, but by then all emotion is lost.
Animals
– (1999) – A group of dirtbags torment an innocent family in the woods. A couple of moments feel real, but the bulk is familiar nonsense that could never match the highs of The Hills Have Eyes. Unoriginal and ugly, but does have something of an energetic spark.
Shakma
– (1990) – A pissed off baboon decimates med-school students as they play a game in their college. Any chance of feeling for the main characters is lost since they’re killed so early on, while the link between the angry monkey and his owner means nothing as emotions are never provided. A long trip to nowhere.
C.H.U.D. II
– (1988) – A zombie is stolen from a morgue and freed upon a community to eat and infect as he pleases. Has nothing to do with the original, especially since it lacks any C.H.U.D.s. This is merely a run of the mill zombie flick with some okay humor and Halloween atmosphere, but is too purposely dumb to favor.
Tales from the Crypt Presents Ritual
– (2001) – A doctor who travels to Jamaica to care for a zombie discovers voodoo. Doesn’t have much of a plot, and the horror is lacking, but it’s full of fun characters and scenarios. Gets slower as it nears the end, but always provides enjoyment.
Sorority Slaughterhouse
– (2016) – A clown puppet possessed by a college dean’s soul goes on a killing spree in a sorority house. Pretty awful on the surface, since killer dolls and bitchy sorority girls have been done to death, but the overall corniness does make for an easy watch. Lacks gore and nudity, but does have a quick pace and decent characters.
Death Dancers
– (1993) – Strippers with a vendetta against men kill as many as they can. There’s no progressive plot, as this consists of random stripper and murder scenes with no discernable links. Boring smut with bloodless kills.