Good Boy
– (2025) – A sickly man relocates to the house in which his grandfather died, and brings with him a dog that’s sensing apparitions. An okay experience from an experimental standpoint, since no other movie is filmed from the perspective of a silent canine. The dog himself is great, but the plot lacks suspense since we never know what’s real, what’s dreamed, or what’s sensed. There’s just no means of emotionally connecting to such a thin, unestablished design.
Haunt Season
– (2024) – Someone’s killing the workers of a haunted house attraction. There’s not much else to describe since the plot is as basic as can be, which means we’re left to deal with some truly dull characters amid truly dull situations. Most of this is padded with drama fueled by overmuch dialog and slightly above average acting. Comes dangerously close to colossally irritating.
V/H/S/Halloween
– (2025) – Anthology of six stories that focus on infected soda, a maternal witch, eyeball brutality, human candy, a child killer, and a really haunted “haunted house.” While each segment features at least some minimal highlight (usually gore), the overall output falls victim to a lack of anything memorable. The human side of things is always a low point, while the SOV bloodletting grew tiresome many, many entries ago.
Hayride Slaughter
– (2001) – Psychics are tasked with discovering the culprit behind murders taking place at a haunted house attraction. Spends most of its appropriately short length on lingering scenes of magic and conversation, but since the acting isn’t half bad they’re all easy to get through. The plot isn’t much, but the T&A will reward those patient enough to see this through.
Halloween Horrors
– (1992) – Someone’s kidnapping women for ransom, and making their lives miserable while awaiting small cash payments. As far as movies go, they don’t get much worse. As far as backyard curiosities go, they still don’t get much worse, but this does show attempts at making a movie without budgetary concerns. Oddly okay despite lacking every conceivable component a thriller should include.
Screamboat
– (2025) – Ferry passengers are forced to contend with a murderous mouse during the last trip of the night. The highlights consist of heavy gore, while the lowlights consist of trivial plotting. No character will ever be remembered, and the villain is too reminiscent of the killer in Leprechaun Returns. In other words, this is worthwhile for the violence, the violence, and the violence. Mildly fun, but instantly forgettable.
– (1957) – An oversized insect makes its way from the Arctic to America. Okay-at-best for infrequent bug mayhem, but this is mostly a cheap bore with too much useless chatter from high officials. Not even the “excitement” can hold attention.
– (1993) – Clans plan to battle an evil cult while a wolf-woman is out and about killing. Makes little to no sense, and feels like an aggravating pile of martial arts cliches. Okay in brief spots, abysmal everywhere else.
– (2023) – Transfer prisoners and their guards hole up inside a police station in a town experiencing torrential rain. What this basically amounts to is cliché spewing macho men and women battling CGI alligators. While never inherently bad, this is never more that a routine monster movie with rotten dialog and predictable advancements. Assault on Precinct 13 meets Crawl meets a SYFY cheapie.
Slaughterhouse
– (1987) – A fat guy kills locals when his father’s slaughterhouse is foreclosed upon. Has few redeeming qualities since every character serves as an irritation, but at least the gore is mediocre. There are certainly worse movies, but few annoy as much.
Lake Placid
– (1999) – A giant crocodile brings together irregular personalities for its research or hunt. Makes more attempts at comedy than horror, which is a shame since the croc is pretty impressive. Lacks necessary tension as only two non-essential characters are murdered throughout.
Zombiegeddon
– (2003) – Troubled police and casual civilians contend with Satan’s zombie plague. Presents itself as an awful waste (and it mostly is) but the cameos, zany violence, and sporadic nudity lead to an okay time. Has no idea what “conclusion” means, but getting to the credits isn’t too much of a chore.
Hoodoo for Voodoo
– (2006) – A group of friends travel to New Orleans where they fall victim to murderous possessions. Has a few inventive kills and moves relatively fast, but the humor is pitiful and the production too murky. Aims to please, but hits too many lame marks.
Poltergeist (1982)
– (1982) – A suburban family loses their youngest daughter to the angry forces within their haunted house. Steadily introduces characters and ghostly happenings while never failing to pile on one nerve wracking moment after another. One of the most emotional and fascinating films in horror history.
Parts of the Family
– (2003) – A killer on the lam holes up in the worst possible house of choice. A little confusing in structure, but once sense is made of the occurrences become somewhat fulfilling. Begins as a common crime story before turning into a nutty zombie yarn.