Amityville Frankenstein
– (2023) – A doofus eats snacks while watching a show where two guys walk through a house. Has barely anything to do with Frankenstein, while Amityville is only used for title purposes. This is basically a cruddy art film tucked within a cruddier attempt at comedy. Barely registers as a movie, and only runs an hour, though I’d rather have spent that time getting gum out of my hair.
Where the Devil Roams
– (2023) – During the Great Depression, a family of carnies travel about while killing those who take them in. Lauded by some for its atmosphere, but I’d just as soon look at a snowy post card than sit through this again. Has brushes with decent gore, but the pace is a slog and the characters never do anything to write home about. As for the dialog? Ugh. So pretentious.
The Sacrifice Game
– (2023) – A small group of demon seekers hole up in a boarding school only to have their demonic expectations subverted. The story itself isn’t too bad, and the twist mostly works, but the insufferable characters drag this down. The initial antagonist tries to terrorize but only comes across as a colossal douche, while the second antagonist does little more than not blink. Still worth a gander for some teeth-gritting violence.
It’s a Wonderful Knife
– (2023) – A young woman who wishes she was never born one year after murdering a serial killer enters an existence where the killer is still active. Has a great premise that works well in the initial stages, but gradually becomes convoluted and pretty drab. However, there are a few memorable moments, a goofily sinister Justin Long, and a rather touching ending.
The Wrath of Becky
– (2023) – A young woman who once survived an assault from Neo-Nazis seeks revenge against a group of degenerates who kill her guardian and steal her dog. Strives to become a tongue-in-cheek John Wick homage, but is so stupendously unrealistic that John Wick resembles a documentary by comparison. Nothing in this film could ever actually happen from the vigilante’s standpoint, but the acting is good and some of the comedy works.
your a-z guide to obscure & classic horror movies
– (1983) – Campers are destroyed by an unseen assailant at a problematic summer camp. Has an abysmally acted opening, but takes off once the camp is introduced and kids and counselors act as they should. The killer steadily becomes a mysterious force, while the final shot may cause many sleepless nights.
Evil Bong 888: Infinity High
– (2022) – A bong oversees the kitchen of a new restaurant and provides an ingredient that makes guests horny. This is the kind of movie that’s stupid because it wants to be, and offers nothing more than cheap humor amid glorious nudity. Virtually plot free, as characters come and go without conflict or resolution, but overall it’s a silly way to spend an hour.
Dogs of Hell
– (1982) – Trained Rottweilers are accidentally unleashed upon a small town. Nothing between the characters raises interest, and the few dog shots are wasted opportunities to breathe life into the doldrums. Filmed as though it had a serious purpose, but ends up a gigantic bore.
Creepshow
– (1982) – Anthology of five stories that focus on a zombie, a meteorite, a cheated husband, a Tasmanian devil, and a plethora of cockroaches. One of horror’s best thanks largely to a fantastic cast, grotesque F/X, and a steady horror/comic mood. A masterpiece propelled to legend by “The Crate.”
From Beyond the Grave
– (1973) – Anthology of four stories that focus on a haunted mirror, a voodoo woman, a shoulder phantom and a mysterious door. Provides some amusement and creepy atmosphere, but loses too many bouts with sluggishness and silliness.
Hell Fest
– (2018) – A group of friends attend a festival of fabricated frights, only to find someone authentically stalking them. The premise has the makings of a decent slasher, but the output is too irritating and dopey to hold in higher regard. Gets dimmer as it goes and becomes too predictable to offer any true frights.
The Children (1980)
– (1980) – When a bus passes through a mysterious mist, the kids inside gain the power to burn others. Too much time passes between the more engaging scenes, but what works is often creepy and somewhat surprising. The serious tone helps keep the killer tykes from seeming silly.