– (2021) – Five friends vacationing in the woods are hunted by a rifle wielding madwoman. The antagonist’s overall motive is valid, but the entire execution is hindered by a lack of distinct characters. Whether anyone lives or dies is irrelevant since no one is fleshed out, and most of the men look the same aside from the size of their gigantic heads.
758 total views, 5 views today
– (2019) – Ensuing the murder of his father, a lazy teen is sent to a remote island with other trauma patients and discovers they’re not alone. A mostly-dull outing with an unrealistic premise that only picks up steam once a twist is revealed more than halfway through. Even then this remains nonsensical, but it at least offers some horror after too many meandering moments.
657 total views, 8 views today
– (2007) – Two kids and their father’s new wife become trapped in a jeep while on a safari outing. Gets off to an atrocious start that feels like a bad TV sitcom, and while this never reaches minimal enjoyment the plot does shift enough so that it’s not always a Cujo clone. Entirely predicable, and entirely unnecessary as the whole plot is the result of a child having to take a dump.
714 total views, 7 views today
– (2022) – A 31-year-old woman with a growth disorder poses as the missing child of an affluent family. The entire concept is preposterous, but the film works as such thanks largely to some insane twists. As a prequel we know how it will end, which is the core disappointment in an otherwise batshit crazy endeavor.
739 total views, 3 views today
– (2022) – A father and his daughter are on the run from a corporation that wants to control their telekinetic powers. Despite a solid performance from the titular protagonist, her output is wasted in a spectacularly boring plot where little happens and no points are made. Only runs 94-minutes, which is a blessing since the pace makes this feel ten times longer. The story is flimsy, the characters are flimsier.
732 total views, 5 views today
your a-z guide to obscure & classic horror movies
– (2018) – A young man keeps an old woman company until her death and ultimate resurrection. While the final act does border on creepy, all hope of tension is lost thanks to the staggeringly dull first hour. Tries to play up the drama angle, but the dramatics simply aren’t engaging.
1,636 total views, 1 views today
– (1999) – A young Andre Toulon learns how to resurrect the dead while beginning his career as a puppeteer. The PG-13 rating solidifies that nothing of the horror variety can redeem the unbelievable boredom. The sets look good, but nothing can speed up the idiotic plot that’s packed with too many droll characters.
2,101 total views, 4 views today
– (2010) – A former soldier is hired to bring in a genetically altered shark/octopus alive, but all the thing wants to do is kill people. Nothing unlike the dozens of other mutant-animal-attack movies, but does begin with a sense of fun at the expense of stupidity. Slows an hour in and becomes repetitive, but does have some dopey highlights.
2,444 total views, 6 views today
– (2021) – Anthology of five stories that focus on a sewer monster, a funeral parlor corpse, human/metal experiments, vigilante extremists, and a wraparound regarding a VHS cult. No story is fully engaging from start to finish, but most have at least a few shocking moments that aren’t easy to shake. The violence and gore far outweigh any plot points, and remain the sole purpose for viewing, but this somehow remains steadily enjoyable.
1,688 total views, 1 views today
– (1986) – King Kong encounters hillbillies and the military on his quest to reclaim Lady Kong. The pathetic concept warrants laughter from all involved, as it’s played entirely straight. Almost too bad to believe, but a few moments actually work.
2,241 total views, 5 views today
– (2012) – Two baseball players try to survive a living dead outbreak in rural America. Not the worst thing to happen to the zombie genre, but far from the best since it never does anything particularly new. The few characters are engaging at first, but like the story around them, they don’t take long to not do anything special.
1,882 total views, 3 views today
– (1973) – Anthology of four stories that focus on a haunted mirror, a voodoo woman, a shoulder phantom and a mysterious door. Provides some amusement and creepy atmosphere, but loses too many bouts with sluggishness and silliness.
2,335 total views, 3 views today
– (2003) – Obnoxious friends search for someone’s missing brother in a haunted amusement park. Nothing of interest occurs throughout, and the ten minutes in 3-D are lame. The exorcism-through-camera gimmick is dumb enough to murder brain cells.
2,137 total views, 1 views today
– (2000) – Toxie returns to fight his evil Doppelganger with help from “special” students. The narrative is a bit disjointed, as one moment we’re dealing with strong political viewpoints while the next treats us to gore and humor of the crudest variety. Still a fun time with incomparable highlights, and Tito steals the show.
1,991 total views, 6 views today