Dashcam
– (2021) – A food delivery driver, who also raps, spends the night among a violently infected public. There’s virtually no plot to discuss, as this mainly focuses on a woman and her cohort as they’re attacked over the course of 68-minutes. However, they’re among the most chaotic 68-minutes ever filmed, and are fronted by the most foul mouthed protagonist since Andrew “Dice” Clay carried a film. It’s funny when it’s supposed to be, and even funnier when it’s not, and does provide a few shocks along the way.
Werewolves
– (2024) – A year after a supermoon turned billions of people into werewolves, a former soldier and his brother’s family prep for their revival. One moment feels like a Purge movie with lycanthropes, while the next feels like a filmed rendition of Resident Evil 3: Nemesis, and as such never feels unique. The concept is okay, but this is little more than a by-the-numbers monster movie with lackluster CGI, clumsy dialog, and overly macho moments.
Nosferatu (2024)
– (2024) – A vampire makes life miserable for an entire community, notably a married couple, ensuing his pursuit of real estate. Despite the ballyhooed production values, there isn’t much to brag about when it comes to the script. Has plenty of instances where characters puke or have seizures, but nothing that showcases the human condition on either side of good or evil. Runs entirely too long for such a scant story, and is apt to elicit more snores than screams.
Angel III: The Final Chapter
– (1988) – A woman enters the world of lewd films to locate and save the sister she never knew she had. Unlike the previous entries, this one has absolutely no humor, which only makes every common activity feel overly important. The drama is too dry, while the action fares no better. If someone aimed to suck the fun out of the series, they certainly hit the mark.
Avenging Angel
– (1985) – A former prostitute returns to the streets to avenge the death of her guardian. Begins as a gritty mystery ensuing a bloodbath shootout, then quickly becomes a quirky comedy with more goofy shenanigans than taut suspense. Packs so much nuttiness into the final act (including an infant in groundbreaking peril) that it’s hard not to recommend.
Angel
– (1983) – A student by day and hooker by night fends off a serial killer while trying to maintain anonymity. Works best when showcasing offbeat characters in a grim-yet-fun setting, but loses enjoyment when focusing on the drama. The protagonist does have a credible back story, but this is constructed in such a way that the excuse for her to become a prostitute at age 12 isn’t solid enough. Equally dark and corny.
your a-z guide to obscure & classic horror movies
– (2009) – Two sisters try to expose their father’s girlfriend as the murderer she truly is… or isn’t. Pretty standard stuff that lacks originality while packing in fluff. The twist, however, manages to turn the corn into something almost original.
– (1986) – A band of rebels venture off to save a scientist in a wasteland that’s ruled by a “dark one.” Ridiculous in powerful bursts, and bland in too many others. Not exactly an easy watch, though some aspects are unbelievably cruddy.
– (1973) – A Biblical girl seeks out her father in a realm of ghouls and vampires. Has some truly creepy moments, but is ruined by a confusing narrative, a drawn out pace and a skittish finale. Atmosphere wins over sense.
I Spit on Your Grave: Deja Vu
– (2019) – Family members of the original film’s victims seek revenge against their adversary and her daughter. The concept holds promise by tying in decades of rage, but most of what occurs brings that notion to incredible lows for three reasons: (1) the characters are impossibly obnoxious; (2) the plot becomes a pale retread of Part One; (3) the two-and-a-half hour length is about two hours too long for such a scant, poorly written script. Why 148 minutes? WHY!?
Play Dead
– (1983) – A woman with a vendetta against her family magically persuades a dog to kill them. Anything dealing with the drama is the pits, but the dog inclusions are so manically awful they’re hard not to appreciate. Bad, but entertaining for all the wrong reasons.
The Cabin in the Woods
– (2011) – Five friends unwittingly vacation at a controlled system of sacrificial death. Gradually improves as it moves along, and peaks with one of the most maniacal moments in horror film history. A unique and entertaining means of explaining genre cliches.
Tales from the Crypt Presents Ritual
– (2001) – A doctor who travels to Jamaica to care for a zombie discovers voodoo. Doesn’t have much of a plot, and the horror is lacking, but it’s full of fun characters and scenarios. Gets slower as it nears the end, but always provides enjoyment.
Satan’s Storybook
– (1989) – Anthology of two stories that focus on a serial killer and a suicidal clown. The stories themselves are okay in that they strive for horror, but the overlong wraparounds spend too much time with a cheap production and pretentious demonic warbling. Has enough creepy merit to ensure one easy viewing.
Dumpster Baby
– (2000) – A discarded newborn is passed around from one group of lowlifes to another. Aside from a phantom following the baby’s whereabouts, there isn’t enough going on to classify this as an actual story. Seems like an art school project from a confused mind.