The Third Saturday in October Part V
– (2022) – An unkillable killer returns to off people during a football watching party. Has a few likeable characters and some nifty attempts at gore, but it’s too silly for its own good and gradually borders on obnoxious. Runs out of steam halfway through before giving off the sense that it’ll never end, but is never a total travesty.
The Third Saturday in October
– (2022) – A convict who somehow survives a botched execution takes to killing in the name of revenge. Takes place in 1979, and while some of the décor is of the time, much of the technology and terminology are not. Halloween atmosphere is limited to minor embellishments, but the film’s heart is in the right place as characters have distinct personalities and a sense of progression is felt throughout.
Evolver
– (1995) – A robot designed as a game device goes haywire and starts killing people. A combination of Chopping Mall and Child’s Play that focuses on the dangers of technology aimed at kids that succeeds in creating a dangerous environment. It’s a bit drawn out, and could have used more gore, but the characters and their plights are just fine.
The Flood
– (2023) – Transfer prisoners and their guards hole up inside a police station in a town experiencing torrential rain. What this basically amounts to is cliché spewing macho men and women battling CGI alligators. While never inherently bad, this is never more that a routine monster movie with rotten dialog and predictable advancements. Assault on Precinct 13 meets Crawl meets a SYFY cheapie.
Two Witches
– (2021) – A tale of two young women who succumb to diabolical forces in their social landscapes. Well made from a visual standpoint, but the script needed work where characters and sensical plot points are concerned. Borders on hard to follow, and has a few horror moments that are hard not to laugh at. By no means bad, but there’s no reason to warrant a sequel setup.
your a-z guide to obscure & classic horror movies
– (2016) – The son of a murderer and his stoner friend hide from controversy in a small town, but are uncovered and blamed for new murders. A bad experience in that very few jokes are funny, despite attempting the zany vibe of the Scary Movie franchise. Has energy, but nothing worth remembering.
– (2012) – A group of teenage boys deal with the hardships of life and an underground killer. Could have been an enjoyable adventure, but the plot is too heavy handed to take seriously. Alcoholism, spousal abuse, child abuse, incest, suicide, and infanticide turn a simple idea into an overblown and joyless drag.
– (1992) – Five girls are stalked by a fat guy in a newly purchased frat house. What’s lacking in plot is made up for in death and nudity, though neither fall in the proper places. A disorganized assortment of bloody sleaze.
Loony in the Woods
– (2013) – A group of obnoxious degenerates vacate to the woods where they’re harassed by an obnoxious degenerate. Strives for weirdness, but never realizes that trying too hard to look odd quickly implodes. Seventy-nine wasted minutes of non-existent horror and miserable comedy.
Deep Blue Sea
– (1999) – Sharks used in Alzheimer’s research turn on a team of scientists. Terrible whenever characters stop to speak, but okay as a dumb adventure. Showcases some tension from time to time, but forces too many groans.
Resident Evil: The Final Chapter
– (2017) – A woman who’s been battling a corporate viral outbreak for many years returns to the epicenter of her problems to end all the madness. Follows the same formula as the previous entries by placing computerized technology over any human traits. A jumbled mess that has no flow, no involvement, and no reassurance that this is actually the end.
Zombie Nightmare
– (1986) – A guy who’s struck down by a car is resurrected to exact revenge on his assailants. Fails to generate much interest, mainly because the lead villain is killed only two-thirds in. The slow pace doesn’t help, but some of the stupidity is amusing.
Clown
– (2014) – A man dons a clown costume he can’t remove, only to discover he’s wearing demon skin. Has a few innovative moments and spots of dark humor, but drags its feet when it needs to pick up the pace. Ruins its own creativity with too many implausible and predictable moments.
Dr. Hackenstein
– (1988) – A doctor who’s working on resurrection is happened upon by three women who could potentially fulfill his experiment’s needs. Since the bulk of this relies on slow drama, the bulk of this sucks. Dumb, but certainly not fun.