Curse of Crom: The Legend of Halloween
– (2022) – A girl unwittingly unleashes a demon upon her town, but her friends are quick to help her contain it. Blends a lot of family and social drama within the horror plot, so it at least tires to not come across as ordinary, but every plot aspect is simply too drab. The quirkiness of the characters wears thin fast, and there isn’t a whole lot of monster activity.
Caesar and Otto’s Paranormal Halloween
– (2015) – A flamboyant putz and his portly half-brother are met with many strange happenings while housesitting near Halloween. Despite a fast pace, a thousand attempts at humor, and a lot of horror cameos, there’s simply no plot worth following. Some parts are funny, but most of this is an obnoxious bore that feels absolutely endless.
Haunted House
– (1940) – A young man and woman attempt to prove the innocence of a convicted felon, while making a few blunders along the way. The only horror rests with the title, as the plot has more to do with hypothetical haunts. Still, this is incredibly harmless to match its incredible corniness.
Scared to Death (1946)
– (1946) – A dead woman narrates the events that led her to the slab. A hokey mystery with too much forced comedy and too much gibberish spoken among dimwits. Involvement is hard to come by, but this moves fast and isn’t long. Oddly enough, the title gives away the ultimate prognosis.
V/H/S/Beyond
– (2024) – Anthology of five stories that focus on infected apartment dwellers, a demonic goddess, orchard aliens, human pets, and desert aliens. While each story at least offers some okay F/X, none of the tales are memorable. This is too long, too slow, too unexciting, too unappealing and, worst of all, too easily forgotten.
Ghost of Dragstrip Hollow
– (1959) – Rebellious teens party in a haunted manor on Halloween night. Only runs an hour, so there isn’t a lot of plot to get through, and you won’t find any deep character motivations either, but it’s goofy as hell and pretty fun as such. Serves as a reminder of exactly what the 50’s looked and sounded like, while offering some chuckles and groans along the way.
your a-z guide to obscure & classic horror movies
– (2013) – Five friends on a wooded outing to detox a junkie are assaulted by possessive forces of evil. Takes a few moments to get going, but once the mayhem kicks in blood rarely stops spraying. Has areas of suspense, but is mainly driven by gut-wrenching gore. A satisfying remake that does nothing to discredit the original.
– (1984) – A murdered maniac seeks revenge against his captors’ children in their dreams. Continually builds a steady mystery while throwing in some truly bizarre events. Some of the acting is bad, and the ending only makes sense if the final third is a dream, but there aren’t a lot of movies this inventive and with as much dread.
– (2002) – A blind woman regains sight, and the ability to see ghosts, thanks to haunted corneas. Has a good concept, but the follow through is too slow to fully involve. Some events are creepy, but suspense doesn’t run high.
The American Scream
– (1988) – A vacationing family crosses paths with a killer, but never seem bothered enough to leave their vacation. An uneven mess with terror that isn’t scary and humor that isn’t funny. Certainly quirky, but nothing that occurs is worth retaining.
Nightwing
– (1979) – Vampire bats terrorize an isolated Indian commune, despite the help of a bat expert. The only trace of story focuses on godly crud, while the horror aspects are too infrequent and lackluster. Badly lit and free of suspense.
I, Zombie: The Chronicles of Pain
– (1998) – A man who’s bitten by a zombie gradually becomes one. A quiet outing that centers on the slow decay of someone who’s still clinging to happy memories. Walks a fine line between goofy and depressing, but always holds interest.
From Beyond the Grave
– (1973) – Anthology of four stories that focus on a haunted mirror, a voodoo woman, a shoulder phantom and a mysterious door. Provides some amusement and creepy atmosphere, but loses too many bouts with sluggishness and silliness.
Killer Klowns from Outer Space
– (1988) – After a big top spaceship lands in a small town, alien clowns start to consume humans. Has a unique look, and some outlandish scenes of horror, but it’s too slow overall and the comedy is too immature. Not as much fun as the title and cult following suggest.
Rabid Grannies
– (1988) – A family that’s reuniting for a birthday party spend the night running and hiding from their elders who turn into demons. The humor only works every so often, and the horror highlights are minimal. Works best when paying homage to Evil Dead and Demons, but can’t match the impact of either.