Werewolf in a Womens Prison
– (2006) – A woman accused of killing her boyfriend is imprisoned alongside corrupt guards and lesbian convicts, but she easily manages to outlast them since she’s a werewolf. This is by far one of the most maniacal low-budget festivals of cheese to ever grace the direct-to-DVD era, from rampant nudity to bountiful blood and gore. The pace is so rapid that any shortcomings are easily overlooked (even the typo in the title), leading to one of the most ambitious outings of its kind.
Fear Street: Prom Queen
– (2025) – Someone’s picking off queen candidates during prom night. Much of the backstory is a bit too familiar when you consider the existence of Scream, but when plot is cast aside what’s here isn’t the worst. Yes, the characters are all types and the killer’s motive is ridiculous, but plenty of blood is spilled throughout. Takes liberties with the date, since much of this is inauthentic to the actual 1988.
The Row
– (2018) – Someone is picking off sorority pledges and then dressing them like dolls. The whodunnit aspect is straight out of any other Z-grade slasher, while the father/daughter dramatics are too reminiscent of Cherry Falls. The kills are weak, there’s no suspense, and the characters (though often scantily clad) are annoying college types. Nothing new, but nothing atrocious.
Sinners
– (2025) – Twin brothers buy property with stolen money and turn a sawmill into an entertainment venue, but local vampires gradually intervene. Racial undertones notwithstanding, 99% of what’s here has been seen plenty of times before. Character drama is sidelined for the same old monster scenarios already presented in The Howling and From Dusk Till Dawn, among others. Lack of uniqueness is one thing, but what sinks this is how painfully dull it is.
Crimes of the Future (2022)
– (2022) – In a world where humans feel no pain due to evolving organs, surgical procedures are enacted for potential entertainment. Not the easiest to describe, and certainly not an easy watch, but this has a strange, hypnotic quality that manages to maintain frequent attention. The production is top of the line, and the cast is eager, but this often seems odd for the sake of odd.
Crimes of the Future (1970)
– (1970) – In a world where women were killed off by makeup products, a man gradually develops a foot fetish. There’s a little more to this than one brief description, but not much. The slim plot moves at a snail’s pace, while the only sense of narration is told through a whispered voice over. Granted, it’s an experimental film, but even the most theoretical movies deserve a pulse.
– (2023) – An alligator goes on the attack after eating a supply of meth. The title and concept might suggest a cheesy good time, but one aspect kills the entire experience: it’s flat out boring. You’ve seen these characters before, you’ve seen this plot before, you’ve seen the shoddy CGI before. Bad, but not in a fun way.
– (1990) – A girl poses as her roommate, whom she killed, in order to accept inheritance money. Has a decent start with mildly drawn characters, but gets rather silly when the murder plot starts rolling. Twisty corn.
– (2021) – A small, weed dealing creature seeks a living bud whose existence represents the fate of mankind. Only runs 45-minutes, yet piles on so many characters and monstrosities it’s hard to focus on any singular event. Begins with a disclaimer that one might want to be high for this, which seems like sound advice. For the sober: good luck.
Deathbone, Third Blood Part VII: The Blood of Deathbone
– (2011) – An elf seeks a barbarian to assist her in bringing down a goblin. The production aspects won’t win over those who prefer their movies polished, and the plot is rather typical to the fantasy genre, but what makes this so much fun are the lines among the frenzied cast. The deliveries of Chris Seaver’s unique dialog are as humorous as the words themselves. Maybe not great “cinema,” but great entertainment.
Terror Tract
– (2000) – Anthology of three stories that focus on a murder, a monkey and premonitions. A little on the dull side, and wears a bright badge of mediocrity, but always maintains involvement. Has a great opening and an even greater conclusion.
The Zombie Diaries 2
– (2011) – Typical soldiers are filmed as they take on an outbreak of living dead. A pitiful extension of the already-pathetic original in which every moment has been seen and heard a thousand times before. An heap of inexcusably cliched garbage.
Zombie Cop
– (1991) – A dead cop takes on the voodoo priest who cursed him back to life. Too many scenes drag, and the dirt-cheap production gets in the way of ambition, but there are some good ideas on display and a mostly-fun tone. By far one of the better shot-on-video films of the era, but still suffers from too many imperfections.
Ghost of Camp Blood
– (2018) – The spirit of a dead serial killer possesses a paranormal investigator. Has the gall to believe anyone is longing for more Camp Blood movies, and has even more of a nerve by expecting anyone to want this cruddy series to continue. There’s simply nothing new here, and it’s all stunningly cheap, horribly acted, and misses the mark in providing any fun.
Sucker
– (1998) – A vampire with AIDS deals with monster hunters and his necrophiliac assistant. Pretty useless in all, but has some humorous moments and ideas. Horror aspects are cheap, though some of the nudity is noteworthy.