Another Cabin in the Woods Movie
– (2024) – A group of friends vacate to the woods for a wedding, but end up victims of an unseen killer. A basic slasher that’s filled with more than the average amount of detestable characters. The gore isn’t that great, either, and aside from one nude scene not much holds attention. Originally released as Cabin Fear in 2015, but re-released with inclusions that are supposed to make this a comedy.
M3GAN 2.0
– (2025) – A robot is brought out of hiding to take down another robot that’s killing people on her way to discovering her own origins. While this does have a couple of humorous and inventive moments, it doesn’t hold a candle to the sadistic charm of the original. The plot is convoluted, the dialog reiterates the same points over and again, while the overall feel is too cold and calculated. At two hours, it also tends to drag.
The Hole
– (2009) – Two brothers discover an opening in their basement that unleashes various forms of evil. The plot is so standard that the main thing you’ll find yourself invested in is how much this steals from other films. (Poltergeist, Flatliners, The Gate, Stir of Echoes, The Sixth Sense, etc.) The acting ranges from okay to overmuch, while the intelligence level idles low. On the plus side, it moves fast and doesn’t last long.
The Monkey
– (2025) – Twin brother who once got rid of a cursed toy find themselves in the same murderous trouble as adults. A disjointed outing that follows a specific pattern: dull and rambling one moment, jarring and bombastic the next. None of the characters have any depth or are remotely likeable, but the sporadic gore does offer a few chuckles throughout.
Mr. Harrigan’s Phone
– (2022) – A teenager remains connected to his deceased friend through the cell phone he was buried with. The concept itself is okay, but it’s told in such an operatic fashion that the gimmick never feels plausible since there are too many serious dramatics that clash with the supernatural. A ghost righting the wrongs in someone’s life is a fun idea, but fun is exactly what this lacks.
Until Dawn
– (2025) – A group of teens have to figure out how to survive a time loop where they repeatedly die one night after another. Many of the horror aspects are top notch, especially the practical F/X, but every line of dialog is apt to cause a headache. Watching these insufferable characters constantly die is a hoot, but redundancy does settle in rather quickly.
– (1994) – Three flat mates mutilate and bury their new roommate to obtain his briefcase of cash. Ranges from truly funny to awkwardly silly, and not every character motive is air-tight. The story isn’t bad, though, and despite low tension there are still plenty of commendable moments.
– (1990) – Linnea Quigley talks us through clips of her movies and presents new workout and spoof footage. More a curiosity than a movie, but the sleaze and corn make it worthwhile. Some parts are downright awful, but all works well if lacking sobriety.
– (2003) – A film crew documenting a haunted house fall victim to its vengeful curse. Moves slow and doesn’t cover much ground, but the non-linear structure helps to ward off boredom. Sadly, too many intended frights come across as silly.
Madison County
– (2011) – Four friends search for an author in the backwoods realm of a serial killer. Yet another dud in a long line of Texas Chainsaw Massacre rip-offs that can’t generate one ounce of suspense. Characters are bland, the plot is a mess, and nothing at all new is ever presented.
Lake Placid: The Final Chapter
– (2012) – Dysfunctional friends and game wardens contend with a murderous crocodile and its offspring. Has a few brushes with creativity when dealing with comedy and mayhem, but the overall story is too typical to enjoy. Never terrible, and moves fast, but provides nothing original.
The Dead 2
– (2013) – A zombie outbreak in India pits some gruff guy against insurmountable circumstances. Everything related to horror is typical while everything related to drama is overwrought schmaltz. Drab idiocy with a lousy conclusion.
Zombie Nightmare
– (1986) – A guy who’s struck down by a car is resurrected to exact revenge on his assailants. Fails to generate much interest, mainly because the lead villain is killed only two-thirds in. The slow pace doesn’t help, but some of the stupidity is amusing.
Sorority Slaughterhouse
– (2016) – A clown puppet possessed by a college dean’s soul goes on a killing spree in a sorority house. Pretty awful on the surface, since killer dolls and bitchy sorority girls have been done to death, but the overall corniness does make for an easy watch. Lacks gore and nudity, but does have a quick pace and decent characters.
Loony in the Woods
– (2013) – A group of obnoxious degenerates vacate to the woods where they’re harassed by an obnoxious degenerate. Strives for weirdness, but never realizes that trying too hard to look odd quickly implodes. Seventy-nine wasted minutes of non-existent horror and miserable comedy.