The Bride! (2026)
– (2026) – Frankenstein’s monster finds a companion in a plucky, revived corpse, but his loneliness is eventually replaced with mayhem. Has a few maniacal moments early on, amid some truly awkward dance segments, but the longer this goes the more its biggest flaw shines: there’s absolutely no emotional development between the leads. Overstays its welcome by at least an hour, as wild energy is gradually outmatched by unpleasing boredom.
Send Help
– (2016) – A mistreated office worker is stranded on a deserted island with her abusive boss. Begins as a quirky comedic drama where every character is either too good or too bad within their over-the-top mannerisms. Takes more serious tones when becoming a mild thriller, but still tends to lean on too many cartoonish antics. Mostly corny and far-fetched, but moves briskly, provides a few unexpected twists, and does ultimately entertain. This is basically Misery in paradise.
Anaconda (2025)
– (2025) – Two friends who have always wanted to make a movie travel to the Amazon to remake 1997’s Anaconda, but things don’t go according to plan. While there’s plenty of chaos afoot, and quite a few twists in the second half, there’s one resounding problem throughout: it’s not funny. There’s a humorous cameo toward the end, but the rest of the film isn’t nearly as clever as intended. A total misfire.
Fire in the Sky
– (1993) – Small town co-workers fall under the suspicion of murder after one of their own is abducted by aliens. Exposes the mania of news outlets and tourists who want a piece of a national story without any regard for the actual humans involved. Works well as a truth seeking mystery while ultimately leading to a commendably creepy payoff. Not always air-tight, and moves at the speed of a glacier, but a solid cast keeps the story absorbing.
Evil Night (1992)
– (1992) – A geek is pranked into his supposed death before exacting revenge on his wrongdoers. While the plot is grounded in cement, this is a relatively easy watch thanks to an abundance of cheesy kills (while also serving as generational time capsule). The killer’s identity isn’t great, the non-stop music is louder than than the dialog, and some scenes are too underexposed to clearly see, but horror ambitions eclipse the expected faults. An ugly joy straight through to the twisted outcome.
Blood Barn
– (2025) – A group of friends gather at a barn to spend a few days partying, but come under attack from a serpentine specimen. Call this one a tale of two uglies. On one hand the overall filming is cheap and off-putting, while all attempts at surreal imagery are also cheap and really off-putting. There’s some ambition afoot, but the output elicits zero excitement and only offers reminders of better backyard efforts.
– (1981) – A woman who’s raped by two men on two occasions during the same day takes a gun to every guy she meets. Has a gripping start and a unique, mute lead, but after a while all she does is shoot men, which overemphasizes her motive. Far from perfect, but moves fast and entertains.
– (2003) – Partygoers attending an island rave confront a vast amount of zombies. Chaotic to the point of distraction, as the maniacal video game style never lets up. Regarded as one of the worst in the sub genre, but the stupidity is hard to consider lifeless.
– (1988) – A zombie is stolen from a morgue and freed upon a community to eat and infect as he pleases. Has nothing to do with the original, especially since it lacks any C.H.U.D.s. This is merely a run of the mill zombie flick with some okay humor and Halloween atmosphere, but is too purposely dumb to favor.
Hunters
– (2016) – Several innocent people fall victim to killers who won’t shut up about their takes on life. A miserable experience that does nothing but showcase one scene of torture after another. Has no plot, but displays high levels of hatred toward humanity.
Black Sheep
– (2006) – Sheep infected with a biological disease attack, devour and mutate humans. The killer sheep almost make for a decent time, but the weresheep do nothing but reiterate a familiar legend. Not without mild amounts of humor and fun, but falls flat overall.
Retardead
– (2008) – A scientist turns special needs students into flesh eating zombies. Starts with some truly funny non-PC humor and amusing links to Monsturd, but eventually becomes a substandard zombie flick. Okay for a few laughs, and has some disgusting gore, but what doesn’t work fails in a big way.
The Kiss
– (1988) – When the sister of a dead woman moves in with her sibling’s family, people begin to die. The plot isn’t very sound, and the voodoo motif makes no sense, but much of what’s here is worthwhile on a low level. Has an almost-exciting ending, but that too comes up short.
Terrifier 3
– (2024) – Art the Clown is out and about killing people at Christmastime. That’s pretty much it. There’s something of a story involving the previous film’s survivor living with an overly cutesy family, but they only serve to bore us until the kills arrive. Granted, the gore F/X are nifty, but by now have become repetitive, even though they account for maybe 20% of the elongated length. Brutal at times, but tries patience.
Killer Nerd
– (1991) – A complete imbecile who’s ridiculed by morons goes on an obnoxious killing spree. Instead of entertaining the audience, this dud dares the viewer to outlast its plentiful annoyances. Pathetic on every conceivable level, from awful comedy to cheap horror.