Obsession
– (2025) – A young man wishes for his crush to love him above all others, and unfortunately for him (and their friends) his wish is granted. Though the premise has already been used in Tales from the Crypt’s “Loved to Death” episode, this takes a simple notion and amplifies it to absurd and nerve-shredding levels. The grim stakes consistently rise throughout, making each scene more unpredictable than the prior. Borders on silly in the early stages, but from the 40-minute mark on becomes highly absorbing and ultimately disturbing.
Rumpelstiltskin (2025)
– (2025) – A yarn salesman discovers a mask that turns him into a troll-like creature. It’s hard to say which aspect is the most incompetent, the horror or the drama. The horror is pure cheese, though not in a fun way. Meanwhile, the drama is so overwrought and pretentious you’ll wish there was more monster activity to eradicate the despicable actors. Here’s four syllables to compete with the title: piece-of-gar-bage.
The Inn
– (2025) – A hulking madman lays waste to anyone in or around a certain motel. Gets off to a rip-roaring start by decimating obnoxious characters at a brisk pace. Then comes the title card and all momentum is lost. While the rest of the film does continue to kill off annoying pricks, it takes too long in doing so. What starts promising becomes yet another dim slasher.
Dolly
– (2025) – Someone who’s dressed as a doll imprisons a woman she intends to keep as her own child. Takes a singular component utilized in the vastly superior American Gothic and stretches it out into one mammoth bore. While this does showcase a horrific jaw injury, everything around that moment is either whisper quiet or screaming loud. Seriously, watch American Gothic instead.
I Know What You Did Last Christmas
– (2025) – A group of friends are invited to a Christmas party where they’re picked off by someone they wronged in the past. The plot is nothing new, the kills aren’t that great, and the overall aesthetic is unpleasing. I suppose the only reason this exists is because it can, since it doesn’t appear as though a ton of work went into its creation. Slaughter High did the same thing, only better.
Amityville Aliens
– (2026) – Anthology of five stories that focus on disco-clad aliens, Halloween night aliens, aliens fighting thugs, an alien eating everything in sight, to a news segment about aliens. Begins with a telling of what actually happened within the coveted Amityville house, but then shifts gears toward short films that have nothing to do with the location. Despite some slight creative ambitions, this is just another dreadful means for friends to “make a movie” and pretend they’ll succeed in the industry. Fat chance, suckers.
– (2010) – For no reason, a tire comes to life and kills people on its way to a random brunette. Might have worked if the idiocy weren’t limited to telekinetic head explosions and a cast of characters who offer nothing. Too much boredom, not enough mayhem.
– (2011) – Astronauts on the last manned mission to the moon encounter small but murderous creatures. The atmosphere is promising, as this at least tries to provide an early ’70s look, but boredom ruins all feelings of nostalgia and enjoyment. Pretends it’s real, which is just a phoney attempt to disturb.
– (1993) – A woman exacts revenge against the men who dry hump her (seriously, nobody removes their clothes). An attempted sequel to I Spit on Your Grave by filmmakers who have no idea what to do in their respective fields. Only runs an hour, but half of that is padded with dull nonsense. Appalling.
Hellweek
– (2010) – Hillbillies in a warehouse kill college kids who tread on their grounds. Despicable characters, on both sides of good and bad, sink this turd before the lame story gets a chance to. Overlong garbage that bores and annoys.
Spring Break Shark Attack
– (2005) – Teens on vacation encounter a swarm of killer sharks. The horror plays second fiddle to pubescent dramatics, but the situations are never outright bad. Could have used more bite, but is easily digestible.
Curse of the Screaming Dead
– (1982) – Friends camping near a Confederate graveyard fall under attack from lousily dressed zombies. The acting’s bad, the FX are bad, the plotting’s bad, the setting’s bad, the drama’s bad, the horror’s bad… which almost amounts to a good time. Almost.
Satan War
-(1979) – A married couple moves into a house that inverts crosses and spews gook. Begins with an overlong satanic ritual that paves the way for the sheer boredom that follows. There’s hardly any dialog, barely any movement, and not one inkling of suspense. For some reason ends with a voodoo ritual.
Secrets of the Clown
– (2007) – A group of friends fall victim to unexplained powers ensuing someone’s death. Has something to do with a soul trapped in a clown doll, but there’s so much slop going on in between it’s hard to tell what the overall purpose is. A badly conceived and horribly acted mess.
L.A. Maniac
– (2011) A murdering drug addict stalks a newcomer in his city. Has moments of focused lunacy that almost work well when shown in real time, but things get out of hand once horror becomes the focal point. Has plenty of boobs n’ blood, so getting through the short length is relatively easy.