Popeye III: Requiem
– (2026) – A drug enhanced super sailor escapes from a science facility and lays waste to anyone in his way. Barely has a plot, as this only serves to exploit a well-known IP by attempting to add comical violence to what was once considered family friendly harm. Well, I’m not laughing. I’m not cringing, either, as all of the carnage is repetitive, poorly staged, and created with feeble FX. An unoriginal waste of time and resources.
Popeye Returns
– (2026) – A sailor with mutant strength takes out his militaristic problems on the small world around him. Looking for a plot? Grab a telescope and twist the lens for miles. You won’t find one. Luckily this is short, because the scarce violence and bland characters do nothing to hold concentration. A weary void that manages to end with one credible threat: “to be continued.”
Party Night
– (2017) – Three couples decide to party at an abandoned house after the prom, but find themselves stalked by a killer. While there’s absolutely nothing new to this, the female acting isn’t bad and the script delivers some realistic lines. Sadly, the gore scenes are all but ruined by blood that has too much of an orange tint, as though vodka sauce runs through everyone’s veins. Generic, but more enjoyable than many other no-budget slashers.
Big Baby
– (2025) – A struggling writer attempts to bring life to a murderer he’s dreaming about, but said killer might already exist in reality. Aims for something unique with the narrative, but gets bogged down by moments taken so seriously they come across as camp. The lead actor’s disjointed performance doesn’t help either, since his slip into madness comes dangerously close to comical. Starts okay, but worsens as it unfolds.
Abomination: The Evilmaker II
– (2003) – A spirit makes trouble for those who return to the house in which she died. Despite a lot of ghoulish happenings, they’re mostly bogged down by a dragging pace. Far from expertly made, but ties well with the first film and is competent enough to make for a relatively easy watch, especially since it’s only 79-minutes long.
The Evilmaker
– (2000) – Four young women embark on a beach retreat, but end up in a haunted house after their vehicle breaks down. The problem isn’t so much the shoddy acting, the no-budget values, nor the lack of any tension, but how painfully dull this is. Gets better in the final act when a girl battling a spirit elicits movement, but even then the entire output is miles from great.
– (1980) – Counselors re-opening a doomed summer camp are picked off by an unseen killer. Spends as much time getting to know characters as it does setting up their grisly demises. A dark and moody nightmare that leaves a lasting impression.
– (1987) – A former Vietnam vet with PTSD vacations with his wife and friends over what he fears most, water, while a killer picks them off. An unabashedly absurd outing with laughs in the wrong places and groans aplenty. Has some gore, but also unnecessary narration and brain dead logic. That no one can figure out who the killer is on a twenty foot boat is nothing short of ridiculous.
– (2022) – A quiet fellow reads The Amityville Horror novel to himself while occasionally farting. That’s it. That’s the movie. Strives to make a point that most Amityville movies are toilet waste, and you know something? He proves that point. If you get the joke this is pretty funny, but for those who haven’t suffered through one Amityville movie after the next this will probably come across as torture.
House of 1000 Corpses
– (2002) – Two couples on a road trip in search of twisted attractions encounter a family more warped than they could have imagined. An easy watch, but the heroes are too obnoxious to root for and the villains too campy to fear. Lacks focus all around, but gets better once the more irritating characters are dead.
Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey II
– (2024) – Animals once abandoned by a human continue their destructive ways. There’s really not plot to speak of, as the only story relates to the occurrences of the first film, but I doubt anyone will show up for the narrative. Those coming for the violence certainly won’t be let down, as the murders deliver some truly heavy punches. Thin but brutal.
Diary of the Dead
– (2007) – Film students document the dead as they return to life and eat humans. The POV angle is distracting, but does convey a message regarding the age of voyeurism. Political points aside, this tends to drag and can’t come up with a single character worth caring about.
Snake People
– (1968) – Women turned into zombies through voodoo mildly terrorize island locals. The ritual scenes show signs of life, but most everything else is bland and incurious. Wastes an okay premise by not doing much.
The Devil’s Rejects
– (2005) – A depraved family wreaks havoc on innocent civilains while a disturbed cop tracks them down. Follows a different path than its predecessor, House of 1000 Corpses, and as such is much more focused and absorbing. The violence is brutal, yet the despicable “bad guys” are hard to root against. A dynamic study of humanity’s darkest roots.
Cannibal! The Musical
– (1993) – A group of men in search of gold resort to eating each other when lost in the snow. Begins as a real stinker, but gets better once the characters dissolve and insanity takes over. Most of the songs are pretty bad, but do add to the mild zaniness.