Cruel Summer
– (2021) – High school juniors gather for one last shot at fun, but find themselves terrorized by a masked killer and his hick family. While this does feature some cheap gore to keep eyes open, everything else is dreadfully languid. It’s not the worst film ever made, but it is on par with every other backyard slasher that pretends it’s new while ripping off a hundred ideas from better movies.
Coffintooth
– (2024) – A hillbilly family is out an about tormenting people on Halloween Eve. Has hardly any holiday atmosphere, and as such feels more akin to summer flicks along the lines of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (which this consistently rips off). Far from great but, for what it’s worth, does have an abundance of cheap gore and gratuitous nudity.
Sorceress II: The Temptress
– (1997) – A witch allows women to infiltrate the dreams of men in order to steal their souls. Mainly feels like a soap opera regarding players of the cosmetic industry, and too infrequently features something that places this in the horror genre. Not even the concluding sorceress battle can save this from the the dregs, but it’s short and has one constant: breast implants.
Sorceress
– (1995) – A man has visions of the woman he killed on the night she summoned the death of a lawyer. Mainly consists of softcore smut, since the plot always takes a backseat to lusting characters. Kind of gets into horror near the end, but two victims getting bludgeoned with a sauna rock isn’t exactly enthralling. Short, but often feel endless.
Summerween
– (2026) – A killer clown escapes from a mental facility and finds his way to a party attended by a cop’s daughter. This is little more than a standard slasher that could have been slightly unique if it lived up to its criminally wasted title. What exactly is Summerween? Why is it celebrated? Why are the characters so eager to throw a great party over its existence? Nothing of the sort is explained. Instead, we’re treated to just another humdrum clown on a rampage flick.
Psycho Killer
– (2026) – A police officer pursues the man who kills her husband (a fellow cop) as he continues his spree in the name of Satan. Though the plot does have elevations, they’re so languid and unoriginal that halfway through one might not find themselves caring about the outcome. Worse are the moments of implausibility, as one singular film has rarely featured so many laughably illogical moments. Sadly, even the violence is lacking.
– (1973) – Two scientists experiment with trapping human souls to create immortality. Involving from the start and inventive throughout, this is one of the rare cases where the hodgepodge becomes rather shocking. Moody, creepy, and ultimately depressing.
– (1993) – Atomic blasts hope to save the world from alien zombies… sort of. There’s no set-up to any specific event, as this is more an assembly of newly shot garbage and stock footage. Attempts to create humor from its own failures, but can’t even get self-parody right.
– (2023) – A group of friends who once participated in a prank gone wrong gather for a retreat where they’re picked off by an unknown assailant. Follows the basic pattern of any ordinary slasher, from obvious red herrings to stock characters, and even manages some cheap CGI along the way. Pretty much stinks in that it’s so bland, but it is relatively well made.
Skinned Deep
– (2004) – A young woman is abducted by a twisted family that can seemingly alter reality. An odd concoction of obnoxious characters and over-the-top antics that’s probably best enjoyed on heavy drugs. Forgotten not because it’s atypical, but because it tries too hard to come across as offbeat while lacking any merit in story or characters.
Mega Piranha
– (2010) – Rapidly growing fish are making bad problems worse for scientists and soldiers. Attempts something of an assassination plot that doesn’t mean squat against the ridiculousness of the piranha scenes. A rancid but slightly enjoyable joke.
Zombie Island Massacre
– (1984) – Island vacationers are picked off one by one ensuing the resurrection of a zombie, yet all the deaths are due to a drug deal. Aside from Manfredini’s familiar score (that reminds of much better films), this is a waste of time where the highlights — kill scenes — are badly edited.
The Four Skulls of Jonathan Drake
– (1959) – A voodoo doctor collects the heads of the Drake clan on each of their sixtieth birthdays. An involving and almost creepy premise that falls victim to too much drama and a pace that refuses to move.
Killjoy’s Psycho Circus
– (2016) – After escaping Hell, a devious clown hosts a talk show before realizing he should leave Earth. Has so much going on that any accurate description might take pages, yet the maniacal structure is the saving grace. Incredibly ambitious for something shot on the cheap, and has aspirations to please fans of pure lunacy.
VHS Massacre
– (2016) – Documentary that promises to explore the rise and fall of physical media, but spends most of its time following the creators as they thrift shop for movies. Means well and provides some credible info, but lacks a narrative focus and as such is appallingly disjointed. Probably fun for those involved, but all else beware.