Don’t Look in the Basement 2
– (2015) – Doctors at an infamous mental facility deal with patients and their visions of a dark past. On the positive side, the is relatively well-made and the acting isn’t terrible. As for the rest? This is a blood and suspense free slog of one dragging scene after another. What it lacks in horror it makes up for with characters endlessly yelling at one another.
Things II
– (1998) – An author tells an aspiring writer two stories about a creature involved in a robbery and a creature involved in the disappearance of a model. A zero budget outing that will never win points for drama, but some of the acting is above average while the scant plots move quickly. Could have used more gore, but that would only have added to an already bleak budget.
Poor Things
– (2023) – A woman with a child’s brain tries to come to terms with her own body before coming to terms with the world at large. A humorous and well-written fantasy about rare second chances at life and how mankind always veers toward personal domination. The atmosphere is as unique as the plot, and never feels artsy on purpose. Instead, this is a superior looking film to coincide with superior human performances.
Night Swim
– (2024) – An injured baseball player moves his family into a house whose pool harbors an evil secret. It’s hard to say which is worse, the morose characters, the languid attempts at horror, or the by-the-books investigation into a weak mystery. An insanely dull and humorless venture that pits a force we know nothing about against characters we care nothing about.
Undying Love
– (1991) – A suicidal misanthrope hooks up with a vampire who grants him eternal life. If you’ve seen any other vampire movie you’ll know what to expect from this one. Does absolutely nothing new, but does it rather competently despite the meager budget. Takes itself a bit too seriously, but some unintended humor and a quick pace help cast aside some of the negatives.
your a-z guide to obscure & classic horror movies
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
– (2003) – Five friends on their way to Dallas befall a cannibalistic clan of killers. Sticks to the original’s basic formula, but can’t match the importance since the heroes are bland fashion models while the villains try too hard to agitate. Has graphic horror elements, but the ’70s atmosphere is non-existent and the conclusion is resentful.
The Nest
– (1988) – Experimental cockroaches terrorize an island community. Outside of the short length and some nifty ’80s F/X, this is pretty useless since there isn’t a character involved who’s worth caring about. A dissatisfying drag.
Stealthhunters
– (1991) – After taking on military personnel, zombie soldiers infiltrate a group of campers. A total bore that promises action but only delivers one sleepy groan after another. There’s no humor, no excitement, and no character who stands out as anything but a stiff with a pulse.
I Walked with a Zombie
– (1943) – A nurse is hired to care for a catatonic woman on an island of rampant voodoo. The atmosphere and ritual inclusions hold attention, but the pace makes an hour feel like a day. Lacks suspense and a substantial purpose.
Camp Blood 7: It Kills
– (2017) – A group of friends and a hiker tread upon a camp (someone’s backyard) where a killer is lurking. A paint-by-numbers no-budget effort that’s been seen a thousand times before and will be seen a thousand times again. Only runs an hour, and does have a few unintentionally funny moments.
Class of Nuke ‘Em High
– (1986) – A high school beside a faulty nuclear facility experiences wacky ongoings of the holocaust variety. A fast paced and colorful outing that never falls short of giddy aspirations. Cheesy and awkward, but it’s the sort of dumb fun only the ’80s could supply.