– (2016) – Two BFF clerks take on mini-Nazi bratwursts that eventually control a goalie golem. The leads are vibrant enough to carry the watch, but the plot around them gets a bit too awkward. The humor works on occasion, though the horror inclusions are too purposefully twisted to have any sort of cinematic impact.
– (2017) – Victims of a tape that kills them a week after their initial viewing pass on the curse to others for survival, until the tape changes. Although there is a new spin put forth with the strange new images and mystery behind them, this can’t hold a candle to the original’s similar quest. Not the easiest to follow, mainly due to the flat characters and a flatter pace.
– (2000) – Anthology of stories that focus on organ removal, infanticide, muddy nude people, and a ripped apart Jesus. An art school train wreck that attempts to get by on surreal imagery, but there’s never a true point to any segment. Every second is shown over repetitive heavy metal that plays at equal volume with the scarce narration. Reeks of pretension and tries too hard to shock.
– (2016) – Paranormal experts investigate the possession of a child and the ghostly mayhem in her London home. Begins in a location promised in the previous film’s conclusion, and proceeds with events that not only keep pace with the freakishness of the original, but invents new scenarios as well. A surprisingly dramatic spookshow that’s loaded with tension.
– (2015) – Evil forces are unleashed upon a dysfunctional family at Christmastime when the last of Santa’s believers stops believing in him. Begins with typically abnormal characters struggling to co-exist, then tosses in horror that makes up rules as it goes along. One moment features killer cookies, then killer attic junk, then killer elves, etc. Has no solid foundation and little cohesion.
– (1920) – A bulky man of clay is constructed and brought to life to ward off a Jewish plague. Neither the titular creation nor anyone involved serve a clear purpose, but forgiveness of such faults must be granted as this was filmed during cinema’s infancy. Mostly a chore to get through, but the visuals do command some respect.
-(1979) – A married couple moves into a house that inverts crosses and spews gook. Begins with an overlong satanic ritual that paves the way for the sheer boredom that follows. There’s hardly any dialog, barely any movement, and not one inkling of suspense. For some reason ends with a voodoo ritual.