– (1986) – An engaged couple spends the night in a creepy manor with their creepier relatives. The humor was outdated then, and is absolutely ancient now. Never funny, and never provides a reason to care about the outcome of any singular character or event. It’s short, though.
– (1991) – A geek is coaxed into entering a haunted house attraction that contains an escaped killer. The concept holds promise, but the execution has no idea whether it wants to provide thrills or comedy, and ends up featuring neither. Taking place on Halloween helps, but nothing that occurs holds any weight.
– (2016) – A small group of friends film themselves as they talk about fear near an infamous haunted house. Doesn’t seem to know what it wants to do, as it’s never clear why the characters search for a house they never enter (until the lame finale). One half is a POV confessional of an irritating actress, the other half is a blatant Blair Witch ripoff. Both try patience.
– (2017) – Wood from the original Amityville House haunts a new home and its inhabitants. Has a busy structure and a fast pace, which helps breeze through the cheese. Doesn’t win any favors when blatantly ripping off The Exorcist, but at least provides some form of energy and momentum.
– (2016) – A small family moves into a house with a checkered past and experience abnormal events. Clearly strives to entertain, but the horror is common and weak while the drama is typical teenage tripe. Nothing new, but better than most in this abysmal series.
– (2016) – A girl goes missing from a boarding house in Amityville. The plot is nearly impossible to discern since every line of dialog is an exercise in how not to speak, and is often spoken alongside music of equal volume. This is clearly the work of someone with a camcorder, five dollars, and friends who are willing to ruin their low-level acting careers in one fell swoop. Ugly, erratic, and irritating.
– (2015) – A group of friends stop at a house in Amityville, NY that has ties to Salem, MA. A pathetic attempt to cash in on notorious New York murders when it’s perfectly clear this is not a New York production. The characters, and everything they do and have happen to them, are useless, bland, and pedestrian.
– (2016) – A group of friends tread upon a forbidden barn on Halloween and face the dire consequences. Allegedly takes place in 1989, but aside from some lingo this looks pretty modern. Has some okay gore, but anything dealing with character drama is awful.
– (1988) – Castle inhabitants plan to falsely haunt their domain until discovering the place is actually haunted. A sloppily told and noisily concocted story of many characters (most of whom are never fleshed out) dealing with love on earthly and unearthly planes. The atmosphere is strong, but despite many attempts at zany comedy few laughs are had.
– (2016) – Four friends and two tagalongs enter haunted woods in search of a girl who went missing over a decade before. Has a rough beginning that merely duplicates the original’s set-up, and the characters are hardly profound, but once the horror kicks in the tension never lets up. A relentless display of suspense, unpleasant atmosphere, and effective shocks.
