– (1983) – A musician and his new girlfriend happen upon a lab that contains telekinetic aliens. While some components make for an okay mystery, the tone is so dry that staying awake requires work. The aliens themselves are lazily constructed, and their ability to kill sadly underused.
– (2017) – A space crew hones in on a beacon sent from a planet with reproduction issues. Takes a while to get going, and has plenty of slow spots, but does manage to excite on occasion. Answers questions posed in Prometheus, but not in an air tight manner. Certainly entertaining, and worthy of the franchise.
– (1993) – Scientists head to a bayou to explore the presence of an alien with human DNA. Despite a few attempts to elicit excitement in the final act, nothing that appears throughout comes close to meaning anything. Humor, sleaze, and monster activities are all lacking, though scenes of uselessness are in high supply.
– (1994) – An alien with human DNA is hunted by separate parties whose intentions are exploiting or destroying the rubber beast. At first appears as low-level wretch, but gradually includes so much appreciative cheapness that fun becomes a valid option. Has blood, nudity, and enough humor to provide a moderately good time.
– (2016) – Reggie wanders through time and space seeking his friends while trying to destroy his adversary. Works well as a continuation of the surreal series, but comes up short as the definitive outcome. Feels as though nobody will ever explain what the franchise means, and at some points gives the notion that the creators figured it was best to make one more entry while everyone was still alive. Has moments that will please Phantasm fans, but newcomers will be lost.
– (1966) – A space crew bound for Mars picks up a green woman who has an appetite for plasma. A dorky experience that explains too much through assumed dialog and not nearly enough through direct action. The female-alien-breeding-eggs motif is a prelude to Alien films, but this dud certainly didn’t influence their excitement.
– (1965) – Visitors to a barren planet discover secrets that turn them against each other. Some of the production aspects obviously influenced Alien, which is commendable, but the characters and story are rather bland as there’s a distinct lack of heroes and villains. Too serious to hail as goofy, yet too empty to hail as a wholly competent.
– (1988) – A bloodthirsty alien with a human persona could spell the conquering of mankind. Sometimes copies the original verbatim, sometimes invents its own corn, and sometimes uses scenes from other movies. Has a lot more sleaze this time, and incredible eye candy in a legal Traci Lords, but ends on a similarly lackluster note.