– (1994) – A cop and his obnoxious partner track an agent of Satan in Israel. Fueled by corn from start to finish, but not in a way that’s overly humorous. The jokes are rather dumb and the action is rather drab, but what’s worse is how stagnant the plot is and how little horror is represented.
– (2006) – A group of spies aim to steal a formula that can create life, and unwittingly unleash a dinosaur. The narrative aspects are pitiful, as they’re packed with too much macho nonsense. The monster inclusions, however, are so unbelievably ridiculous they’re almost impossible not to giggle through.
– (2001) – A cop and a wildlife officer investigate murders that lead to a carnosaur creation facility. The plot is nothing new, and most every line spoken is an exercise in stupidity, but the pace is quick and the corn levels high. The monster mayhem is by far the highlight, but there’s not nearly enough of those moments.
– (2018) – Humans aim to destroy Godzilla to restore Earth’s environment to habitable conditions. The few monster moments are okay, but 95% of this consists of characters rambling on and on and on about what should be done instead of actually doing it. A mighty bore that even seasoned fans will yawn through.
– (2019) – A soul-infused car attacks those who killed its owner. Has little to do with the vehicle in question, and plenty more regarding a villian who creates an assortment of cyberpunk henchmen. Neither aspect works. This wants to be cool, but by trying too hard to become cool this turns into a hot pile of dung.
– (1985) – News personnel travel to a drug ravaged land to investigate murders related to an infamous cult. The slim plot is something of a chore to follow, as a lot happens with little explanation or reason. Lacks necessary realism, but is relatively well-made, well-acted, and well-intended.
– (2017) – Johnny Rico and his troopers try to outlast bugs and a politician who wants to wipe out Mars. For every moment of interest there are several of repetitiveness and rock bottom dialog. Has a rather sensitive moment featuring a past character, and the visuals are cool, but there’s little new here.
– (2018) – Giant monsters invade Earth with aid from corporate scum, and it’s up to youth-controlled robots to bring them down. Exactly on par with the first film, from rancid dialog to slapdash action to the feeling that a lot of money was wasted during production. An obnoxious, empty headed children’s movie.
– (2018) – A team of female scientists and soldiers venture into a dimension nobody returns from. Has much to do about science terms and interdimensional mythology, but most of the occurrences come down to grand scale mumbo-jumbo. Offers a moment or two of tense violence, but this is mostly drab and soulless.
– (2018) – An alien with a knack for killing armed humans must also deal with eliminating his own species. Gets off to a vibrant, fast paced, and humorous start before running out of steam and becoming nonsensical and ho-hum. The story and editing are so sloppily handled it’s hard to tell what the overall purpose is.