– (2013) – Gang members who shoot up a Russian strip club end up victims of a sadistic family ensuing escape. Blends an ordinary gangster movie with an ordinary Texas Chainsaw Massacre ripoff and ends up an ordinary bore. Has some great nudity early on, and some okay violence, but everything else is too familiar.
– (2016) – A red-headed warrior takes on serial killers in and around a facility that contains them. An ugly, unfocused mess that has too much going on yet is still an incredible bore. Better than the original, as it’s not as astoundingly irritating, but still has a delusional heir about itself that people will care about this product.
– (1999) – A man on a mission of peace ends up battling a horde of cannibals alongside twelve other warriors. A trivial mess that somehow turns sword battles into tests of endurance. Characters have no depth, the story is too basic, and the victories throughout too easily won. More along the lines of a Lord of the Rings film without any purpose or meaning.
– (2017) – A boy who has strange dreams escapes disguised creatures from another dimension by slipping into their dimension. Yes, there’s a gunslinger, and yes, there’s a man in black, but not much else is reminiscent of the novels. Very few (if any) characters or situations are explained, rendering this a confusing mess.
– (2017) – Tornadoes of sharks summoned at Stonehenge whisk those who try to stop them to different parts of the world. Does squeeze out some fun in the pre-credit sequence, but afterwards takes a steady decline into repetition and boredom. Some actors do teach a valuable lesson though: don’t get too much plastic surgery.
– (1977) – A swashbuckling sailor and his comrades travel to a distant land to break the curse of a prince-turned-baboon. While there are moments of adventure and monster activity, everything in between moves incredibly slow. Gets points for imagination, but the excitement factor is bogged down by the languid pace.
– (1958) – A swashbuckling sailor helps a devious magician reclaim his magic lamp in a land of monsters. Though the human element is paper thin, and the pace often sluggish, this deserves a ton of respect for the effective creature moments. Deservedly renown for its F/X, while the plot is a simple means to get to the stop-motion highlights.
– (2016) – A task force struggles to locate six books that can cause the death of anyone inscribed within. Though the initial idea still holds intrigue, the first hour is overloaded with dozens of details regarding convoluted rules. An overlong mishmash of names and identities that serve as a reminder of how this series is more effective when focused.