– (2001) – An octopus is killing New York City citizens, yet police believe the crimes are caused by a human serial killer. An insultingly stupid cop drama with static horror additions. Somehow turns into a Daylight ripoff, and mistakes suspense for constant yelling.
– (2017) – A space crew hones in on a beacon sent from a planet with reproduction issues. Takes a while to get going, and has plenty of slow spots, but does manage to excite on occasion. Answers questions posed in Prometheus, but not in an air tight manner. Certainly entertaining, and worthy of the franchise.
– (2017) – A military guided expedition to an unclaimed island leads to the discovery of a massive ape. Gets off to a rip-roaring start, but after the first major action sequence, the pace takes a serious hit. Separate parties wander toward a rendezvous point amid sporadic creature battles, yet only one character has a background while others go missing for long stretches. The human scope is empty, but the mystique of Kong is top notch.
– (1976) – A female film director seeks a male for her latest low budget movie, which happens to upset a giant ape. Strives hard for cult consideration, and might garner attention as a curiosity, but too much of this is flat out dull. The jokes that work occasionally work well, but the failing jokes leave behind a wretched stench.
– (2017) – A woman who’s been battling a corporate viral outbreak for many years returns to the epicenter of her problems to end all the madness. Follows the same formula as the previous entries by placing computerized technology over any human traits. A jumbled mess that has no flow, no involvement, and no reassurance that this is actually the end.
– (2016) – A vampire in a shiny leather coat aims to stop her kind from fighting werewolves in shiny leather coats. Yet another preposterous, pompous, and pretentious entry in a never-ending series that continues to take itself too seriously despite a severe lack of originality. Bloated CGI mumbo jumbo for an audience that couldn’t possible be asking for more entries.
– (2016) – Godzilla resurfaces in Japan and spawns into a huge problem. Moves at bullet speed, has few shots that last longer than four seconds, and never lingers long enough to get to know anyone. Does have one great night scene of Godzilla mayhem, but the bulk of this consists of rapid discussions of how to bring him down.
– (2016) – Whirlwinds of sharks (and cows) wreak havoc across the country, laying waste to washed up celebrities and those with no future. Gets off to an awesomely bombastic start in Las Vegas, but then settles into the safe corn this series thrives on. Goes to absurd places, and does have some fun vibes.
– (2017) – Five cars race across America and aim for pedestrians as their point achievements. A remake that keeps some of the original’s craziness, but the tongue-in-cheek nature of such oddities is lost to an overall lack of focus. One of cinema’s worst edited movies in existence as scenes and events come and go with little to no cohesion. Also, the F/X are terrible.
– (1994) – An alien with human DNA is hunted by separate parties whose intentions are exploiting or destroying the rubber beast. At first appears as low-level wretch, but gradually includes so much appreciative cheapness that fun becomes a valid option. Has blood, nudity, and enough humor to provide a moderately good time.